My dad told me he would ctb if I did

[AnonymousL]

My dad indirectly told me he would ctb if I did.

I have a 16 year old sister who tried to ctb a few months ago. Things are going very bad again and we're scared she is gonna do it again.

When my parents were fighting (I was there to make sure it wouldn't get out of hand) my dad said he would ctb if my sister would successfully ctb.

He doesn't know how bad it's going with me and that I have plans and resources to ctb whenever I want to.

anyways, now I feel even more like shit.

Before the only persons I cared about leaving behind were my sister and my boyfriend.

Now .. if I successfully ctb.. I probably will also cause my sister to not only lose her big sister but also her father. I will cause my mom to loose her husband.

I feel so guilty. I'm exhausted.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's your own decision and your life but I understand that you care about your dad and your younger sister. May I ask why you want to CTB?

I think sth in your family is going very wrong especially when your sister already attempted with the age of 16. What's making her so desperate to attempt?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I would say talk to your dad about how badly you feel, yet in reality this would probably only make things worse.
Is the reason your sister tried to ctb because of your mom and dad fighting ?
What about your mom, does she know how you feel ?
Sorry you are going through this. Families can be a nightmare to deal with.

 

[AnonymousL]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's your own decision and your life but I understand that you care about your dad and your younger sister. May I ask why you want to CTB?

I think sth in your family is going very wrong especially when your sister already attempted with the age of 16. What's making her so desperate to attempt?

I have 2 older brothers who live alone with kids now.

Me and my brothers were physically abused and (emotionally) neglected. In a few occurrences my mom was physically abused by my father as well.

My parents were working all the time and when they were done they would go eat out in a restaurant at least 5 times a week. So me and my brothers were alone most of the time.

There is an 8 year difference between me and my sister. So I was 8 when she was born but my parents didn't change their habits and they would continue doing what they did. I had to grow up at 8 years old and be a mother to my little sister.

My sister was never abused physically by my father. However she did witness him hurting me a few times.

my parents are still working an extreme amount of time and eating out a lot too. So we never have family dinners where we talk about our days or what's happening in our lives.

Depression runs in the family. My fathers mom is a depressed alcoholic and his dad died when he was 10.

My father is manic depressed

My brother tried to ctb when he was a teenager as well.

I tried to ctb when I was 20, now 4 years later I almost went twice to that point again.

my parents have a very toxic relationship to a point divorce would be the better option but due to some circumstances they can't.
They scream and shout everyday at each other.

My sister was very bubbly and social but things changed when she had her first break up. Her grades were dropping and she ended up trying to ctb.

Now she has a new girlfriend. She has many friends. But she is not the same anymore. It could be the age. When ur 16 you're going through changes but this is too drastic.

She tries to live with her current girlfriend as much as possible to escape the toxic environment we have at home.
But my dad who loves her a lot wants her to be home.


I don't know exactly why she tried to ctb but she did tell me she suffered from her break up.


Why I want to ctb? The childhood I never had, the physical abuse, I have been sexually abused as well, I don't have any friends and I never had. I'm 24 turning 25 next month and I'm tired. I have seen enough of life.

I would say talk to your dad about how badly you feel, yet in reality this would probably only make things worse.
Is the reason your sister tried to ctb because of your mom and dad fighting ?
What about your mom, does she know how you feel ?
Sorry you are going through this. Families can be a nightmare to deal with.

I made another comment with a bit of backstory about my family.

I think the fighting is definitely part of it.

My mom doesn't know either, for her mental illness doesn't exist.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

OMG! That's rough.

 

[ropearoundatree]

I'm so sorry for all you've been through! I'm just so sorry. . .

 

[zombiegirl]

my mom has said something similar. i hate it, cuz it's not gonna deter me, it's just gonna make my suicide less peaceful

 

[Morte]

I don't see it as bad thing, I would prefer my family to kill themselves too than to endure this pathetic life of mourning about my death.

 

[Little_Suzy]

You seem highly knowledgeable and aware of your family's dysfunction.

I'd go no-contact with my family.

Because you obtain freedom and earn your own money in your twenties, you can relive your childhood precisely as you want to.

I hope you can escape your abusive family and find the peace and happiness you deserve.

 

[Worndown]

It sound like this is the time for you, your father and sister to have an open conversation. It is already out for discussion, make the best use of it. It might just save your family.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It sound like this is the time for you, your father and sister to have an open conversation. It is already out for discussion, make the best use of it. It might just save your family.

Yeah, this is the way to go with how things are presented as OP said.