but... why does he do it?
My dad does not see things with no purpose
to him as worthy of keeping. He has admitted that he only thinks about himself and is incapable of understanding why other people form attachments to anything. He has gone behind my mom's back many times and gotten rid of her old stuff as well, warning us not to tell her or else she'll get mad at him. He also has been diagnosed with OCD, and claims he hates clutter, but we do not hoard. Any old, sentimental items are stored safely in totes in the basement storage rooms for safekeeping, and sometimes he'll go through them just because and get rid of anything
he doesn't want to keep. We never go through and touch his stuff. Ever. I just don't understand, and i also don't understand why he gets mad at me when I ask him not to.
Is your father reasonable? I mean, does he hear the logical arguments?
He should consult before it escalates and becomes compulsive decluttering
I don't think he does. He doesn't care to listen to our reasoning, and only gives up the conversation when everyone is jumping on him, then victimizes himself and leaves to his room to sulk about how he thinks everyone sees him as the enemy. He's done this in the past for other reasons. Once, I told him I was just gonna find something else to eat because it was going to take him too long to go to the store, then he said I was playing the victim and villainizing him. Another time, he forced me to tell him what I told my old counselor and then yelled at me for proceeding to tell him what I told said counselor.
However, there are things he won't get rid of, like photographs, baby blankets, childhood drawings, etc.
He also understands my figurine collection and wouldn't make me get rid of any of them or the boxes.
Good. For me anyways. It's not for everyone. And it still hurts... but..... I tend to feel more... centered, and empty. Whenever I get rid of my past, anything I used to care for, reminders of who I used to be..... throwing it in the trash, both figuratively and literally, allows me to kind of... reset myself and my priorities. The less I have, the less I have to lose. If that makes sense..? In getting rid of what I care for, it helps me feel less. The less I feel, the less I can get hurt by myself or those I subconsciously or actively form an attatchement to.... I don't usually allow myself to have good things. If it makes me feel good, I usually discard it. Though I'm making an exception here ahaha... I still feel the need to run away and delete this app even now. I've done it once already. I have to actively fight myself to be vulnurable with you.
I hate being in the middle of an argument, it's such a helpless feeling... im so sorry..... Ignorance used to be bliss. Im not sure if i want to go back to being ignorant anymore though, I am who I am due to everything bad that's happened to me. I'm scared of losing my sense of self. And I still have people to surpass. I'm not done yet.... I don't think people really see us as full on "adults" till we're like in our 20s, they prob still see us as immature even though we're 18.
Oh my god absolutely that's just fucking terrible, I can't imagine just dumping out a pet like that, surely that of all things is a line that he'd know not to cross? Like who in the right frame of mind gets rid of an animal a child has an emotional attatchement to? I feel that physically, that's just ... so shitty I'm so sorry.....
If holding grudges isn't healthy, well.... I guess I'm walking with one foot in the grave then. Ahahaha!!
It does sound painful, but I'm glad it was ultimately a good and healthy thing for you to do. I totally understand that. I know it can be difficult to stop "running away" after you've been used to doing so for so long. And especially with being vulnerable. I'm so sorry you're struggling with that.
It really is. I wouldn't say I was ever totally ignorant, but at least there was a time when things didn't get to me as much. Where I could just ignore them and drown myself in my own fantasies. I think you're right about that part, though. I suppose you could lose your sense of self. I don't think they do either. I'm only seen as an adult to my parents when it's in their favor. Otherwise, I'm just a kid that still has to listen to everything they say. I don't understand that contradiction.
Mhm. He just dumped her out at his old workplace and said she would be fine. I still feel for her. I doubt she's even still alive anymore. I hate to call my dad cruel, but I truly do think it was a cruel, cruel thing to do. Cats have always been my emotional support animals in some way. Thank you...
Hahaha yeah! People always tell you to forgive and forget, but that's simply not possible in any situation. You can't just forgive people who have hurt you so badly. Doesn't that mean they've won?
I don't get it either. I think that when they're fed up with me for whatever reason I'm an adult and when they want to control me in some way I'm a child.
