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bugfart

bugfart

Aaa err umm ooo ehh auu eee ouu eee aaa err ooo
May 21, 2023
51
Hello. I'm not sure if you read my past post about my terrible relationship and how my dad isnt in my life anymore. My dad is a pathological liar and he has distanced himself from me. He pretty much only cares about his new family (he is not legally married to his fiance) and has not seen me in months. When I needed a ride to the hospital for a broken foot he told me I was selfish for wanting him to drive me and to figure it out. A random stranger ended up driving me and I was completely alone and had to get an uber back fo my college. He stole my Xanax from me (I take it legally and I need it) from the pharmacy the day after when I tasked him with getting my medicine.

Over the summer I had severe chicken flu and colitis and needed to go to the hospital. I was calling him and he hung up and said he didn't care. My roommate ended up driving me there, he showed up 2 hours late, took me to his place because I couldn't eat solid food. I tasked him with getting my belongings I needed and he flirted with my roommate despite being engaged, grabbed the wrong things and forgot things, kicked me out because I said he grabbed the wrong things, and he kept all the pedialyte and apple sauce he bought for me even though I was not back on solid foods.

His excuse the whole time has always been that my stepmoms mother has dementia and that he's a full time caretaker. He is unemployed and has been neglecting his own mother with dementia, his cat at his apartment, and me. She finally passed away. I say "finally" because she was my stepmoms abuser and had alcoholic dementia. She was not present in my stepmothers childhood, produced a half sibling to my stepmother with fetal alcohol syndrome that my stepmother had to raise by herself, disappeared for a long while, and came back with a small dog she had been neglecting and dementia and demanded to be cared for.

It was a noble task for my stepmother to take up caring for someone as terrible as this. Unfortunately, my dad has been neglecting me and his own mother whilst not actually putting in much work for my stepmoms mom. He does not like people who can see through his lies and know his mistakes. I remind him of a worse time in his life. He doesn't like his mother or father or family because he can't effectively lie to them and present the version of himself that he wants to be.

He has always lied to avoid seeing me. Even when I was younger, it was always "I'm going on a veterans trip" whilst he is in his apartment the whole time and he forgot I had find my friends feature on, etc. I don't fit into his life much anymore. He initially wanted full custody of me but I choose my mom because there's no way I'd live with a jobless man who lives in moldy filth with a cat he doesn't take the best care of. When I was 10 I made the decision to live with my mom and stepdad (very wealthy), and he's always been a bit salty about that. That however didn't stop him from going on all sorts of dating apps and social media and talking about how hard it is to be a "single dad", despite seeing me once a month if not once every 2 months as a kid.

I know he's going to have all sorts of excuses. He has excuses for not getting a job. He has excuses for not being involved with his parents and neglecting his cat. He has excuses for the mold and the biohazardous situation he lives in. I'm not going to try to be in his life anymore. My mom and stepdad live 4 hours away and he lives 30 minutes away. He has never been a good person and I don't particularly feel like caring for him one day even though I love him still.
 
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T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,684
One of the many potential frustrations in life is to expect too much from some people. There are some people from whom more can be expected. However, if you happen to be connected to those who are unable to respond beyond some minimal level, you may have to cultivate additional relationships.
 
LongLimbedWeirdo

LongLimbedWeirdo

Member
Nov 3, 2025
18
It's sad man but there isn't much you can do, my father exhibits similar behaviour and simply flexes that he has a son sometimes to others. But other then that he has been absent from my life since I was 8 sometimes visit rarely or talk about how everything is my mothers fault or how she manipulates me (which I'm not denying) but in the end he never asked me anything about how I'm doing except when it's pointed out and he dosent care when I'm hurt either (but I'm not gonna go into that) so there isn't anything you can really do about it but I hope it gets better for you man
 
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