Venting My dad blocked my number and believe this is the last time they don’t wanna talk to me

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I left them last June after dealing with their abuse for years and I have been living with a organization for years who has been aiding me with housing, but they haven't had my best interest it's heart, and I known this when I have been preparing my ctb now and they are the direct cause if my issues as they birthed children without protecting them - especially me - in this world and my sisters are blinded enough to follow them and stronger while I am weaker in comparison and I am dealing with so much stress and discomfort and fear and have been living with idiots and dealing with idiots and it just gets me to believe I should call my parents back, but I believe since leaving out they truly want nothing to do with me, even though I changed my number so they wouldn't reach me…

I have to deal with an organization that is making me go crazy because they don't really know me aside of what I show them and living with people abusing me again after moving out if my iarehts the first time because of them makes me very defensive to not want to be around people a lot and I as recently subjected to harassment even being kicked out for an hour because people drive me crazy and make me feel so damaged inside constantly…

This just proves I'm alone and going back to my abusers was my last hope, but it's not my ctb is, especially as I don't like being around strangers and having to lie to be okay when I truly don't appreciate this evil world…

I just wonder if I can hold on before I feel more sadness :'))