tera_forest
- Mar 19, 2023
- 67
Hi SS,
Usually I wouldn't bother with goodbye threads as I don't think that many people know who I am. But I wanted to make one anyways because I was hoping it would be able to help people know about different methods.
I initially decided to CTB with RC's. As a person who has never taken drugs and knows literally nothing about them, it was an uphill battle researching and googling which chems would give me the best chances. Since I searched on this site and only saw a few posts regarding methods via RC I thought it might be helpful to document what i'm going to do and how I got there.
My suicide kit:
2g #4 Heroin (china white)
2g Bromazolam
Highest proof Alcohol you can find + some to drink
Oral syringe
No eating for as long as you. I was able to go for about 3 days
Note: There is a difference between synthetic china white and china white. Synthetic china white means it was mixed with fent, probably cheaper too. I would have gone with this option but there were no domestic sellers for me on the darknet.
What i've done so far is drink some alcohol. Dissolved the bromazolam powder in 90 proof alcohol. In a separate bowl completely dissolve the heroin in water and suck it up into the syringe. Was kind of sticky on my fingertips when drying out. Took a taste of the mixture and it was pretty gross lol. Bromazolam on the otherhand doesn't taste like much, maybe a little bitter. I''m going to be drinking the Bromazolam mixture and boofing the heroin after a few mins because the bioavailability of this is 2nd to IV.
Total cost of H and Bromaz was about ~$700 in total. The bromazolam was found on the clearnet. I wanted to go with any of the -zene opiods but again, I'm in Canada and there weren't as many options for me. If you're in the EU or US you will have more clearnet options.
The number of reliable clearnet vendors is very low. If you want to buy any of the strong more well known chems like isotonitazene or metonitazene then you will NOT be able to find it on the clearnet unless you're in EU. Be very careful for scams. In my experience using the darknet was way easier because you have the option of looking at the reviews and ratings for vendors. There is also a system called escrow which withholds the money from the vendor until you recieve your package. Just be careful about the FE date (finalize escrow) and be sure to extend it until you get your package to lessen your chances of being scammed. The darknet bible has everything you need to know if you want to get into that.
I won't give any sources but there are many sites you can check: Erowid, Psychonauts, Reddit, Dread (darknet forum), any other drug related forum.
If anyone more knowledgable wants to chime in and correct something then please do so.
Other than that, I want to thank this forum for existing and providing a place for suicidal people to truly open up in a non judgemental space. I don't have life stories to tell as i've have not had a very eventful life. All I can say is that i'm turning 24 in a few months and i've been a complete shutin for years. Frankly I don't see it getting any better, especially with the way the world is now. I'm sick of waiting for days, months, years, to pass me by as I wait to die. I just don't have it in me anymore.
It's sad seeing the people here suffer and I hope you can all find your own peace, whether is be through death or in the choice to continue living your lives and trying to get better.
I'm getting a little sleepy. Still have to wipe all the data off my laptop and phone. It's a little surreal that something i've wanted for so long is finally in my grasp. Like i'm going through all the motions of making this happen and I feel a little excited but mostly nothing. Hopefully I won't have to come back here with a failed attempt.
Goodbye SS
Usually I wouldn't bother with goodbye threads as I don't think that many people know who I am. But I wanted to make one anyways because I was hoping it would be able to help people know about different methods.
I initially decided to CTB with RC's. As a person who has never taken drugs and knows literally nothing about them, it was an uphill battle researching and googling which chems would give me the best chances. Since I searched on this site and only saw a few posts regarding methods via RC I thought it might be helpful to document what i'm going to do and how I got there.
My suicide kit:
2g #4 Heroin (china white)
2g Bromazolam
Highest proof Alcohol you can find + some to drink
Oral syringe
No eating for as long as you. I was able to go for about 3 days
Note: There is a difference between synthetic china white and china white. Synthetic china white means it was mixed with fent, probably cheaper too. I would have gone with this option but there were no domestic sellers for me on the darknet.
What i've done so far is drink some alcohol. Dissolved the bromazolam powder in 90 proof alcohol. In a separate bowl completely dissolve the heroin in water and suck it up into the syringe. Was kind of sticky on my fingertips when drying out. Took a taste of the mixture and it was pretty gross lol. Bromazolam on the otherhand doesn't taste like much, maybe a little bitter. I''m going to be drinking the Bromazolam mixture and boofing the heroin after a few mins because the bioavailability of this is 2nd to IV.
Total cost of H and Bromaz was about ~$700 in total. The bromazolam was found on the clearnet. I wanted to go with any of the -zene opiods but again, I'm in Canada and there weren't as many options for me. If you're in the EU or US you will have more clearnet options.
The number of reliable clearnet vendors is very low. If you want to buy any of the strong more well known chems like isotonitazene or metonitazene then you will NOT be able to find it on the clearnet unless you're in EU. Be very careful for scams. In my experience using the darknet was way easier because you have the option of looking at the reviews and ratings for vendors. There is also a system called escrow which withholds the money from the vendor until you recieve your package. Just be careful about the FE date (finalize escrow) and be sure to extend it until you get your package to lessen your chances of being scammed. The darknet bible has everything you need to know if you want to get into that.
I won't give any sources but there are many sites you can check: Erowid, Psychonauts, Reddit, Dread (darknet forum), any other drug related forum.
If anyone more knowledgable wants to chime in and correct something then please do so.
Other than that, I want to thank this forum for existing and providing a place for suicidal people to truly open up in a non judgemental space. I don't have life stories to tell as i've have not had a very eventful life. All I can say is that i'm turning 24 in a few months and i've been a complete shutin for years. Frankly I don't see it getting any better, especially with the way the world is now. I'm sick of waiting for days, months, years, to pass me by as I wait to die. I just don't have it in me anymore.
It's sad seeing the people here suffer and I hope you can all find your own peace, whether is be through death or in the choice to continue living your lives and trying to get better.
I'm getting a little sleepy. Still have to wipe all the data off my laptop and phone. It's a little surreal that something i've wanted for so long is finally in my grasp. Like i'm going through all the motions of making this happen and I feel a little excited but mostly nothing. Hopefully I won't have to come back here with a failed attempt.
Goodbye SS
