Braindead Atheist
Specialist
- Oct 7, 2020
- 387
Its my birthday today and for my wish, I'm wishing that it will be my last. This whole live is all a fucking scam. God forbid I actually get something I worked for...I can't finish my graphic design degree and there's nothing out there for just an associates anyways. I was put in school for an ekg tech job, by Workforce and there's nothing out there. I'm so irritated. I wasted my time once again.
My efforts in everything from jobs, schooling and fitness have gotten me: bullied, fired, broken my dreams, wasted my time and money, depleted my college fund, let's see...now I get to watch others get jobs in design and for fitness I never lost a single pound, I get to again watch others achieve things instead of me(because I apparently haven't already had enough of that), now i have tendinitis, dislocation and muscle atrophy in my right arm and lost my back step out. Work hard and you'll only get less. I've been scammed out of money, time, energy, mental and physical health.
But don't worry, thats just for me. Others actually achieve stuff and arent constantly losing. I hope I'm successful in ctb so I don't have to deal with this scam anymore. Mental health professionals can pretend life's worth living all they want, but they don't fool me anymore. They forced me to get help, and forced me to continue with the scam I was born into. I'm not even happy that I was born. Its my fucking birthday and all I can think of is "why am I being forced to exist?!" I almost died from the supplements I took, and I actually took the recommended dose. I was eating next to nothing and purging and was drinking a lot of caffeine on top of everything.
I was told by the Principal at the school I used to attend to not go to the carnival (this wasn't the lady who bullied me btw) but I wasn't thinking straight and went to apologize for something I said and make sure she still cared about me(she didn't) as I was walking up, I had a cramping feeling in my calve and felt faint.
As I walked into the school my forearms cramped and I started feeling tingly all over and my limbs felt light. My heart was going really fast and my chest was also cramping. As I was apologizing, I knew it was bad. I said, "I really don't feel well" and she said, "go outside and get some fresh air " and then I started shaking and said, " somethings really wrong " and i knew I'd pass out if I didn't try to sit down. I was shaking so hard and felt really dizzy and cramp y.
I fell forward my hands and after a minute she said with no empathy what so ever, "Isabelle I need for you to get up." Almost like she was annoyed. Then she motioned and said, " come on, let's get some fresh air" and I said, "call my mom" and she said, "we'll go outside and you can call your mom " and then she called my aunts BFF who works at the school to get my moms number, and then she called my mom. I was really scared and it almost happened again that Monday. Then she called my mom and said that I "interfered" with her "doing" her "job" and a lot of families were upset and that if I went to the school during school hours she'd issue a trespassing Warrent and never to talk to her again. I almost took the sn after that and was locked up for it. They know I have an ED now because I tried to explain. But this stupid and evil bitch shunned me anyways. Screw her, I've been through enough trauma and she knew that too. I'm writing a tell all to screw everyone who wronged me. I'll give you this ladys identity if you want btw(if thats allowed) you can call her names and give her a taste of her own medicine.
Speaking of, if I can't get SN then I'll just od on the supplement that almost killed me and keep being bulimic and anorexic. I almost had a heart attack, I'm not kidding you, when I got home I felt way better and even then my resting hr was 115+. It was probably almost heart attack range when I fainted. Wish me luck!
My efforts in everything from jobs, schooling and fitness have gotten me: bullied, fired, broken my dreams, wasted my time and money, depleted my college fund, let's see...now I get to watch others get jobs in design and for fitness I never lost a single pound, I get to again watch others achieve things instead of me(because I apparently haven't already had enough of that), now i have tendinitis, dislocation and muscle atrophy in my right arm and lost my back step out. Work hard and you'll only get less. I've been scammed out of money, time, energy, mental and physical health.
But don't worry, thats just for me. Others actually achieve stuff and arent constantly losing. I hope I'm successful in ctb so I don't have to deal with this scam anymore. Mental health professionals can pretend life's worth living all they want, but they don't fool me anymore. They forced me to get help, and forced me to continue with the scam I was born into. I'm not even happy that I was born. Its my fucking birthday and all I can think of is "why am I being forced to exist?!" I almost died from the supplements I took, and I actually took the recommended dose. I was eating next to nothing and purging and was drinking a lot of caffeine on top of everything.
I was told by the Principal at the school I used to attend to not go to the carnival (this wasn't the lady who bullied me btw) but I wasn't thinking straight and went to apologize for something I said and make sure she still cared about me(she didn't) as I was walking up, I had a cramping feeling in my calve and felt faint.
As I walked into the school my forearms cramped and I started feeling tingly all over and my limbs felt light. My heart was going really fast and my chest was also cramping. As I was apologizing, I knew it was bad. I said, "I really don't feel well" and she said, "go outside and get some fresh air " and then I started shaking and said, " somethings really wrong " and i knew I'd pass out if I didn't try to sit down. I was shaking so hard and felt really dizzy and cramp y.
I fell forward my hands and after a minute she said with no empathy what so ever, "Isabelle I need for you to get up." Almost like she was annoyed. Then she motioned and said, " come on, let's get some fresh air" and I said, "call my mom" and she said, "we'll go outside and you can call your mom " and then she called my aunts BFF who works at the school to get my moms number, and then she called my mom. I was really scared and it almost happened again that Monday. Then she called my mom and said that I "interfered" with her "doing" her "job" and a lot of families were upset and that if I went to the school during school hours she'd issue a trespassing Warrent and never to talk to her again. I almost took the sn after that and was locked up for it. They know I have an ED now because I tried to explain. But this stupid and evil bitch shunned me anyways. Screw her, I've been through enough trauma and she knew that too. I'm writing a tell all to screw everyone who wronged me. I'll give you this ladys identity if you want btw(if thats allowed) you can call her names and give her a taste of her own medicine.
Speaking of, if I can't get SN then I'll just od on the supplement that almost killed me and keep being bulimic and anorexic. I almost had a heart attack, I'm not kidding you, when I got home I felt way better and even then my resting hr was 115+. It was probably almost heart attack range when I fainted. Wish me luck!
