Mvrd3rz
Member
- Sep 9, 2023
- 10
I've wanted to CTB for a really long time now and I've tried several times and now I'm planning to CTB by hanging myself till the 8th of January (which I truly want) but I keep thinking about my best friend and about how selfish it would be for me to leave her alone in this cruel world and about all the good times we spend together and how she makes me feel like a kid again but I just can't take it, I've been trying to stay alive for her but I just can't and I just feel so selfish and miss her and every moment we spend together even though I still haven't killed myself cuz she was always there for me and the only person I could trust and that actually understood me but I can't help but keep thinking that maybe we can make it and live a average life together and I could witness her getting married and having children and one day when we're old we're gonna look back and think about our past just laughing but I know I could never be truly happy no matter how much time passes and staying alive is just pure torture for me.
