My attempt- Partial hanging

[Caustic]

My short little story,

About a week ago I attempted to hang myself. After debating it all day I decided to just commit. Nothing pushed me over the edge per say. I live a relatively normal life and nothing from the outside looks to be a problem. It was a moment where I just said "today is the day". After getting everything complete I called my best friend and told her that I loved her fully prepared for that to be the last time I heard her voice. I put my rope around my neck and I dropped. within seconds I felt the darkness and the warmth come over me. The peace I felt in that exact moment is indescribable. I felt no fear, nothing but the yearning to be free from this cruel cruel world. I let the warmth and darkness consume me until I was suddenly and I would say rudely awoken on my bathroom floor with a bloody nose(fell face first)and a very sore neck. I laid for about 5 minutes before coming too. The rope had snapped and sent me face first onto the tile floor. I had only been out for 2-3 minutes max but it felt like an eternity. I apologize if this was all over the place I just thought I would share my story.

As for my why, I couldn't tell you. All I know is that for the longest time I have felt a sense of estrangement. As if I do not belong here on this cruel world. This world is cruel and at the end of the day the only thing we look up too is death. Whether that be of old age or by thy own hand. I have a lot of people who care (or so they claim) and love me but I am incapable of feeling it. I don't feel loved or Cared for. The only thing that I really want is peace. Peace within my own mind. To be free from life is all I ever want. I will most likely try again but this time pick a stronger rope. Thank you for taking the time to read and I wish nothing but the best for everyone! <3

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

Good luck man. Try and treat yourself to something nice before you go. Might as well leave with a smile

 

[freedomcalls]

That sounds like a very beautiful experience, up until the rope snapped, thank you for sharing

Wishing you well for your next attempt

 

[counting-out-time]

This is the way I'm going to be going very soon. Can I ask what position you used and what you used as the anchor point. Mine was going to be the robin Williams way but I'd be using rope instead of a belt

 

[Caustic]

This is the way I'm going to be going very soon. Can I ask what position you used and what you used as the anchor point. Mine was going to be the robin Williams way but I'd be using rope instead of a belt

I used my shower curtain rack. Where I live they are drilled into the wall (old building) so nothing could move it. As for my position I was on my knees and I just let my entire body go limp. Hope this helps

Good luck man. Try and treat yourself to something nice before you go. Might as well leave with a smile

I'm gonna go enjoy some frozen yogurt next time

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand your feelings towards life. To me it does sound so ideal to be permanently gone from this world and never have to suffer again. I've always wished for death, life has been something I've wanted nothing to do with in any way. Existence is simply a pointless, unnecessary burden and only death could bring me the relief that I look for. But thank you for sharing what you went through. I envy those who manage to succeed with this method, to me the thought of something potentially going wrong while attempting is so terrifying to me. I do hope that when the time is right for you to leave this world, you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Caustic]

I understand your feelings towards life. To me it does sound so ideal to be permanently gone from this world and never have to suffer again. I've always wished for death, life has been something I've wanted nothing to do with in any way. Existence is simply a pointless, unnecessary burden and only death could bring me the relief that I look for. But thank you for sharing what you went through. I envy those who manage to succeed with this method, to me the thought of something potentially going wrong while attempting is so terrifying to me. I do hope that when the time is right for you to leave this world, you find the freedom that you wish for.

The way you explain it is so beautiful. All love

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I understand your feelings towards life. To me it does sound so ideal to be permanently gone from this world and never have to suffer again. I've always wished for death, life has been something I've wanted nothing to do with in any way. Existence is simply a pointless, unnecessary burden and only death could bring me the relief that I look for. But thank you for sharing what you went through. I envy those who manage to succeed with this method, to me the thought of something potentially going wrong while attempting is so terrifying to me. I do hope that when the time is right for you to leave this world, you find the freedom that you wish for.

This is a bit off topic, but I'm curious. Are you always surrounded by people or you have a significant amount of privacy? Pure curiosity

 

[Caustic]

This is a bit off topic, but I'm curious. Are you always surrounded by people or you have a significant amount of privacy? Pure curiosity

If you are asking me, Then yes I am always around people in some way shape or form. I have a fairbit of privacy aswell. I live a very normal life. I just don't enjoy any of it.

 

[theboy]

Hugs!

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

If you are asking me, Then yes I am always around people in some way shape or form. I have a fairbit of privacy aswell. I live a very normal life. I just don't enjoy any of it.

I wasn't asking you, but it doesn't matter anyway. I'm always, always surrounded by people. I want to go to a forest and maybe just chill, or possibly ctb but there are no forests in this state. Just bloody swamps

 

[Caustic]

I wasn't asking you, but it doesn't matter anyway. I'm always, always surrounded by people. I want to go to a forest and maybe just chill, or possibly ctb but there are no forests in this state. Just bloody swamps

that honestly sounds amazing, just chill in a forest. Sounds perfect

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

that honestly sounds amazing, just chill in a forest. Sounds perfect

It does, doesn't it? The best things have a way of eluding me

 

[conflagration]

I feel this enstragement and alienation my entire life. It seems that there are people who just not belong here. Maybe our true kingdom is somewhere beyond the veil of death.

 

[actual_fox]

I have a lot of people who care (or so they claim) and love me but I am incapable of feeling it.

Hi, I just feel a bit similar about my family and I want to ask you If you can feel love to people- I mean the feeling like you might or might have not felt as a child. ??
Do you love your family or like me do you love them on material- thinking level?

It does, doesn't it? The best things have a way of eluding me

I just went to the forest to look for right tree.

Also I felt the same high during my partial attempt.

 

[Caustic]

Hi, I just feel a bit similar about my family and I want to ask you If you can feel love to people- I mean the feeling like you might or might have not felt as a child. ??
Do you love your family or like me do you love them on material- thinking level?

I just went to the forest to look for right tree.

Also I felt the same high during my partial attempt.

I am capable of loving. I love my family and my friends to death (ironic) I just can't feel the same love back if that makes any sense.

I feel this enstragement and alienation my entire life. It seems that there are people who just not belong here. Maybe our true kingdom is somewhere beyond the veil of death.

"Our true kingdom" That is so beautiful. Hopefully one day we will find it

 

[Wait-Bus]

My short little story,

About a week ago I attempted to hang myself. After debating it all day I decided to just commit. Nothing pushed me over the edge per say. I live a relatively normal life and nothing from the outside looks to be a problem. It was a moment where I just said "today is the day". After getting everything complete I called my best friend and told her that I loved her fully prepared for that to be the last time I heard her voice. I put my rope around my neck and I dropped. within seconds I felt the darkness and the warmth come over me. The peace I felt in that exact moment is indescribable. I felt no fear, nothing but the yearning to be free from this cruel cruel world. I let the warmth and darkness consume me until I was suddenly and I would say rudely awoken on my bathroom floor with a bloody nose(fell face first)and a very sore neck. I laid for about 5 minutes before coming too. The rope had snapped and sent me face first onto the tile floor. I had only been out for 2-3 minutes max but it felt like an eternity. I apologize if this was all over the place I just thought I would share my story.

As for my why, I couldn't tell you. All I know is that for the longest time I have felt a sense of estrangement. As if I do not belong here on this cruel world. This world is cruel and at the end of the day the only thing we look up too is death. Whether that be of old age or by thy own hand. I have a lot of people who care (or so they claim) and love me but I am incapable of feeling it. I don't feel loved or Cared for. The only thing that I really want is peace. Peace within my own mind. To be free from life is all I ever want. I will most likely try again but this time pick a stronger rope. Thank you for taking the time to read and I wish nothing but the best for everyone! <3

I really connect with your story. I too tried to hang myself when I was a teenager. I was hanging there fully suspended and the towel cloth tightening. I felt the warmth you talked about and felt like I was slipping away. But I was rudely awakened by a mad crush with the back of my head hitting the ground. I too lay for about five minutes not totally comprehending the moment and the past few minutes., I wondered if I was dead.

I have no reason why I think about suicide other than I have urges that will someday be fulfilled