S
Sadmonster98
New Member
- Jul 25, 2024
- 2
I met a girl online. She was a trauma survivor who was sexually abused by her boyfriend. We became good friends there. I always listened to her, made her feel comfortable around me. She find a safe home in me for venting. Gradually i developed feeling for her. It was after ages I wanted to live for her. I wanted to love her so deeply that she forget her past. 2 months ago she told me she's seeing some guy I felt awful but consoled myself. Recently she broke up with him, she was quite depressed and wasn't eating at all. I felt bad for her. I told her I'm coming to her city for some urgent issue (although I lied about that part, my only intention was making sure if she was doing okay), was she interested in meeting me? She replied with a big yes. I planned my trip all around her. Purchased gifts. Printed personalised quotes, wrote a motivational letter in my own handwriting for her. I told her everything in advance. When I reached the city she told me she was doubtful for that day. She was having some issues. I asked I've something for her. I want to meet her for just a few minutes. She replied my message the next day telling me a lot of shit going on her life. She can't come. I sent her the pics of the gifts that I purchased insisting at least take the gifts, at that moment she was furious at me. She told me you're making me uncomfortable. I thought of you as a friend but you think of me as more than that. I was so emotional at that moment that I confessed my feelings, I told her my life is already in mess i I don't want to get her and date her I just had feelings for her and I wanted to make sure if she was okay. after that she replied this friendship is bit too overwhelming for me. It's better if we take a break from it. After that I told her I'm deactivating me account. Then I deactivated my account. Cried all day that day, the next day. Didn't ate anything for 3 days. I felt so shitty and miserable. A few days after that I saw her post targeting me that a guy made me uncomfortable and later guilt tripped me saying he was deactivating his account hoping I will stop him. I activated my account to apologize to her for my behaviour but I was blocked before I was able to say anything. I wanted to be her friend. I feel so shitty and awful and just wanna kill myself now. Was I wrong ? What was the reason for her behaviour? What should I do now? Does anyone have any anwer?