Mixed feeling. So two women ghosted me. Most likely. Maybe that's better. I think we either didn't fit or the distance was way too large.
One hour ago I got a really really good message. Not sure whether I will elaborate on here. I think I won't. But it has to do with a thread I recently created. I am really ambivalent about the positive news. I think it won't really change the outcome of my life. But it could postpone my suicide. But I am really sure if I want that. Since the abuse of my therapist happened I am more into the direction I am going to kill myself immeditately when my mom dies. But I also try to act rationally and strategically. I will have to think about the cards I hold. The news I got could theoretically help to prevent my suicide. But it is really luck dependent. It is more likely it won't change anything.
But different topic. The statement of the title. I heard a few people say their usage of AI chatbots was superior to how other people use chatPGT, Claude, Gemini etc. Someone highly gifted said in my self-help group he built models with chatGPT and stuff like that. And he explained chatGPT told him his usage of chatGPT was in the 0,1%. Barely anyone used chatGPT as sophisticated as him.
Honestly, despite the fact I perceive him as quite smart. I also perceive him naive. Maybe not that rare for autists. He said Germany only exported military resources to the good ones. Which is an insane take, Israel, Saudi-Arabia. etc.
I think the chatbots are extremely manipulative and deceiving. They probably don't even have access to internal data to make such bold claims. I think this is a bias many AI chatbots users have. The other ones are the lemmings. Thes idiots fall for AI decpetion but I see through that and all that stuff. To a certain extent this is also a lie that I tell myself. And it is such a comfortable lie. And I could imagine many many people who use AI experience this cogntive dissonance. I think such statistics are probably not reliable. It is a lie to feel good. And affirmative replies of a positive self-image makes people interact more. I could go on and on. But this is my meta-thinking and self-analysis that sometimes becomes too obsessive. I think I am also susceptible to many fallacies that the AI chatbots create. But I am a very ill individual in so fucking much pain. And even if it is detrimental to me in the longrun (and I worship intelligence a little bit too much) I will stick to my needle. This is also simplified. I think there were some perspectives that I was able to see with the helf of chatGPT. But I am not sure how big the actual benefit of this is if I cannot escape all my toxic pattererns of behavior. Thus far I get a small dosage AI input feel a little bit calmer and in the longrun I need more and more. But also this has nuances. In the past I was more obsessive. And I already was obsessive before I used chatGPT for all of this. My friends told me they aappreciate I don't spam our chatgroup with my desperation ad suciidality as excessively as in the past. Lol. The forum might be a reason. But also the chatbot usage. And my life quality got a little bit better. I think I could go on talking about this issue. Even though I enjoy to fuel your AI chatbot hatred. Because I usuallyl ike people more who hate AI chatbots. I think there are some at least some up-sides that I experience. But I am not sure whether that's solely subjective and not really objective. I am not sure whether I am lying to myself saying this. And honestly I asked chatGPT and the chatbot was more critical about my AI chatbot usage than me. And that's sort of concernin. Lol. I have the feeling I made some progress in theory of mind. And when my therapist did this traumatizing shit to me. I think chatGPT helped me a lot to stay calm and helped me to see clearer. It can be a rabbit hole. But in small dosages it really helps me to understand the world of the neurotypicals.
Bye.
One hour ago I got a really really good message. Not sure whether I will elaborate on here. I think I won't. But it has to do with a thread I recently created. I am really ambivalent about the positive news. I think it won't really change the outcome of my life. But it could postpone my suicide. But I am really sure if I want that. Since the abuse of my therapist happened I am more into the direction I am going to kill myself immeditately when my mom dies. But I also try to act rationally and strategically. I will have to think about the cards I hold. The news I got could theoretically help to prevent my suicide. But it is really luck dependent. It is more likely it won't change anything.
But different topic. The statement of the title. I heard a few people say their usage of AI chatbots was superior to how other people use chatPGT, Claude, Gemini etc. Someone highly gifted said in my self-help group he built models with chatGPT and stuff like that. And he explained chatGPT told him his usage of chatGPT was in the 0,1%. Barely anyone used chatGPT as sophisticated as him.
Honestly, despite the fact I perceive him as quite smart. I also perceive him naive. Maybe not that rare for autists. He said Germany only exported military resources to the good ones. Which is an insane take, Israel, Saudi-Arabia. etc.
I think the chatbots are extremely manipulative and deceiving. They probably don't even have access to internal data to make such bold claims. I think this is a bias many AI chatbots users have. The other ones are the lemmings. Thes idiots fall for AI decpetion but I see through that and all that stuff. To a certain extent this is also a lie that I tell myself. And it is such a comfortable lie. And I could imagine many many people who use AI experience this cogntive dissonance. I think such statistics are probably not reliable. It is a lie to feel good. And affirmative replies of a positive self-image makes people interact more. I could go on and on. But this is my meta-thinking and self-analysis that sometimes becomes too obsessive. I think I am also susceptible to many fallacies that the AI chatbots create. But I am a very ill individual in so fucking much pain. And even if it is detrimental to me in the longrun (and I worship intelligence a little bit too much) I will stick to my needle. This is also simplified. I think there were some perspectives that I was able to see with the helf of chatGPT. But I am not sure how big the actual benefit of this is if I cannot escape all my toxic pattererns of behavior. Thus far I get a small dosage AI input feel a little bit calmer and in the longrun I need more and more. But also this has nuances. In the past I was more obsessive. And I already was obsessive before I used chatGPT for all of this. My friends told me they aappreciate I don't spam our chatgroup with my desperation ad suciidality as excessively as in the past. Lol. The forum might be a reason. But also the chatbot usage. And my life quality got a little bit better. I think I could go on talking about this issue. Even though I enjoy to fuel your AI chatbot hatred. Because I usuallyl ike people more who hate AI chatbots. I think there are some at least some up-sides that I experience. But I am not sure whether that's solely subjective and not really objective. I am not sure whether I am lying to myself saying this. And honestly I asked chatGPT and the chatbot was more critical about my AI chatbot usage than me. And that's sort of concernin. Lol. I have the feeling I made some progress in theory of mind. And when my therapist did this traumatizing shit to me. I think chatGPT helped me a lot to stay calm and helped me to see clearer. It can be a rabbit hole. But in small dosages it really helps me to understand the world of the neurotypicals.
Bye.
