I wanted to share my detailed attempts of CO poisoning, all three of which I failed. The first two kinda blur together, but I'll get to that.
1. Around 3AM I decided to give it a go. I had done my research, I knew I was ready. I had started a small bucket fire with crumpled paper, a lighter, and a leftover Christmas popcorn bin (it's made of a light metal I'm assuming it's tin)
On top of this I had a cooling rack with about 10 lumps of charcoal. They become heated in no time from the small paper fire which didn't last very long, but the charcoal was somewhere between combustion and glowing hot. From there, I transferred my hot charcoal into an electric smoker (not a necessary item) but I thought I could burn my charcoal smoke off faster and dissipate the smoke to cover my tracks. I burned the charcoal very hot, with the combined heat of the electric smoker and the already hot charcoal, it was burning very fast. I had a fan placed right beside of it for oxygen (to burn hotter and faster) with all the windows open. I was in a medium sized camper. This is where I would finally CTB. I also want to note that this electric smoker is relatively large, and could hold a fair amount of charcoal. I ended up using around half the bag, which was around 8-10 lbs of charcoal. I had read that about 1.5 - 2 lbs would suffice for the desired CO PPM, but I was looking for success, and fast.
After about 45 minutes to 1 hour of burning 8-10 lbs of charcoal in the camper with all windows open, most of the smoke had dissipated, however I don't think all of the charcoal had ignited the way I had hoped for, thus there was still smoke coming from the fresh charcoal on top. I figured it wasn't enough to matter, I would just leave one small window open for the smoke to leave, and the CO remaining would be enough to do the job quickly.
This was a very crucial mistake, with that window open and the fan running on high, I'm assuming all of the CO had left the camper. If it didn't, there wasn't nearly enough to do the job because I had woken up about 8 hours later completely fine.
So far the timeliness was:
3AM - started burning charcoal outside
3:10ish - added burning charcoal to roughly 8lbs of charcoal inside confined space (camper)
4AM - charcoal was burning good, unplug electric smoker so I didn't accidentally burn the camper down, decided to close all the windows but one WITH a fan running (the fan was to keep me cool and help me fall asleep, inside the camper was VERY hot)
Roughly 12PM - about 8 hours later I wake up, completely fine
I was very disappointed and pretty mad at myself. I knew exactly what I had done wrong. I looked at the charcoal and all 8lbs of it was ash.
"HOW!?" I wondered to myself.
It had to be the fan and open window. That's the only reason I'm still alive.
2. The next attempt was right after this, I knew I didn't have much time. I didn't want to try the next night, because the camper already smelled like smoke, and if anyone had come home to smell it, I would be questioned. This was another mistake because my next attempt was rushed.
I went inside my house and checked things out, wanted to be sure I was in the clear. No texts, nobody was suspicious. I was in the clear.
A couple hours had went by while I quickly tried to contemplate another attempt.
I quickly added maybe a little under 1lbs to the electric smoker and plugged it back in. This was around 2PM. I stayed in the camper the whole time with the smoke and heat.
I only added the amount of charcoal that I did (roughly 1lbs) because I didn't want to waste my charcoal. I didn't have much left for a 3rd try so I left what I could. I also wanted to back out if I needed to and I didn't want it to be too heavy.
So the charcoal is burning starting at 2PM and I stay with it the entire time. I would lie there for about 2 hours with the heat and smoke burning my eyes, and eventually passed out. I woke up in an ambulance around 8PM. My family had found me after searching for me around 3 hours.
2nd attempt timeline:
2PM - Light charcoal
4PM - "pass out" or fall asleep, I'm not sure which really
8PM - Wake up in ambulance
Not long before that my family had broken into the camper which I had locked, they got me air, and fanned out the camper. They couldn't pick me up to take me outside, or wake me up, so this prompted them to call 911.
I couldn't stand or hear anything, so I figured I had done something right. This lasted for several hours. The hospital kept me on oxygen and kept me monitored for several hours (kept checking my blood). They said the oxygen in my hemoglobin was low, or the CO in my blood was high. I couldn't really remember, and it was hard to hear for several hours. After poison control and the doctor cleared me, I was taken to the psych ward.
I was in no pain.
3. 2 weeks later
Another rushed attempt, I should have planned it better. I obtained a large cooking pot that held about 10lbs of charcoal, I tried to empty the entire 16lbs bag into it but it wasn't big enough. I placed this on top of some wood so the floor wouldn't get too hot (didn't wanna accidentally burn the house down)
I was in an abandoned house next door, in a small bathroom. I had lit the charcoal, left it there for about an hour and kept monitoring it (again, didn't wanna accidentally burn the house down)
Started drinking outside while monitoring the big pot of charcoal every 5-10 minutes. It was going good, after about an hour I had noticed the smoke had dissipated throughout the house, and the charcoal was no longer smoking. I was tipsy enough to fall asleep, so I take a pillow and blanket to the bathtub to make a bed. I lied down and fell asleep.
Lying down I thought, "I finally did it!" I was right, this was a success.
However I didn't anticipate what was to come. I had awoken some time later with a strong urge to vomit. I left the confined room of CO and went to vomit outside. After this I lost my memory, but I woke up hours later, around 8AM, to my family banging on the door. After I went to vomit in the night, I barely made it back to the bathroom. I was lying in the bathroom floor, half in and half out with the door open. This allowed the CO to escape, and I had enough oxygen to stay alive.
So the timeline of my 3rd attempt was:
4AM - light 10lbs of charcoal in small bathroom of abandoned house
5AM - Make a bed in bathtub and go to sleep with the CO confined room, sealed up good
5AM - 6AM - Somewhere in this time window I had gotten up to vomit. I'm assuming it was before 7AM because the Sun hadn't started rising yet. I make it back to bathroom, but lie down in the floor with the door open
8AM - My family discovers my location
My brother had smelled a burning smell from the house, that's how the found me. I'm not sure if I barely made it back to the bathroom, or I intentionally let my CO go in an attempt to save my own life. I think I remember assuming that it would still do the job if I just got in the floor with the door open. In hindsight I see that was a big mistake. I should have went back into my bathtub bed and re-sealed the room. Next time I'll know to take a vomit bucket with me, and stay in the room.
Of course I spent another week in the psych ward after 3 days in the PCU. Again, my oxygen was low, and the CO in my blood was high, so I did the job, just failed to finish it.
I learned from my mistakes, but now I'm stuck at home with no alcohol, and no more charcoal. I am being monitored pretty much 24/7 by my family. I go to PHP daily (partial hospitalization, 4 hours of group therapy)
Hopefully this story gives you some insight. Plan accordingly, take everything into account, DON'T rush this. This is a major decision, and I was very lucky to come out of this without any permanent damage.
1. Around 3AM I decided to give it a go. I had done my research, I knew I was ready. I had started a small bucket fire with crumpled paper, a lighter, and a leftover Christmas popcorn bin (it's made of a light metal I'm assuming it's tin)
On top of this I had a cooling rack with about 10 lumps of charcoal. They become heated in no time from the small paper fire which didn't last very long, but the charcoal was somewhere between combustion and glowing hot. From there, I transferred my hot charcoal into an electric smoker (not a necessary item) but I thought I could burn my charcoal smoke off faster and dissipate the smoke to cover my tracks. I burned the charcoal very hot, with the combined heat of the electric smoker and the already hot charcoal, it was burning very fast. I had a fan placed right beside of it for oxygen (to burn hotter and faster) with all the windows open. I was in a medium sized camper. This is where I would finally CTB. I also want to note that this electric smoker is relatively large, and could hold a fair amount of charcoal. I ended up using around half the bag, which was around 8-10 lbs of charcoal. I had read that about 1.5 - 2 lbs would suffice for the desired CO PPM, but I was looking for success, and fast.
After about 45 minutes to 1 hour of burning 8-10 lbs of charcoal in the camper with all windows open, most of the smoke had dissipated, however I don't think all of the charcoal had ignited the way I had hoped for, thus there was still smoke coming from the fresh charcoal on top. I figured it wasn't enough to matter, I would just leave one small window open for the smoke to leave, and the CO remaining would be enough to do the job quickly.
This was a very crucial mistake, with that window open and the fan running on high, I'm assuming all of the CO had left the camper. If it didn't, there wasn't nearly enough to do the job because I had woken up about 8 hours later completely fine.
So far the timeliness was:
3AM - started burning charcoal outside
3:10ish - added burning charcoal to roughly 8lbs of charcoal inside confined space (camper)
4AM - charcoal was burning good, unplug electric smoker so I didn't accidentally burn the camper down, decided to close all the windows but one WITH a fan running (the fan was to keep me cool and help me fall asleep, inside the camper was VERY hot)
Roughly 12PM - about 8 hours later I wake up, completely fine
I was very disappointed and pretty mad at myself. I knew exactly what I had done wrong. I looked at the charcoal and all 8lbs of it was ash.
"HOW!?" I wondered to myself.
It had to be the fan and open window. That's the only reason I'm still alive.
2. The next attempt was right after this, I knew I didn't have much time. I didn't want to try the next night, because the camper already smelled like smoke, and if anyone had come home to smell it, I would be questioned. This was another mistake because my next attempt was rushed.
I went inside my house and checked things out, wanted to be sure I was in the clear. No texts, nobody was suspicious. I was in the clear.
A couple hours had went by while I quickly tried to contemplate another attempt.
I quickly added maybe a little under 1lbs to the electric smoker and plugged it back in. This was around 2PM. I stayed in the camper the whole time with the smoke and heat.
I only added the amount of charcoal that I did (roughly 1lbs) because I didn't want to waste my charcoal. I didn't have much left for a 3rd try so I left what I could. I also wanted to back out if I needed to and I didn't want it to be too heavy.
So the charcoal is burning starting at 2PM and I stay with it the entire time. I would lie there for about 2 hours with the heat and smoke burning my eyes, and eventually passed out. I woke up in an ambulance around 8PM. My family had found me after searching for me around 3 hours.
2nd attempt timeline:
2PM - Light charcoal
4PM - "pass out" or fall asleep, I'm not sure which really
8PM - Wake up in ambulance
Not long before that my family had broken into the camper which I had locked, they got me air, and fanned out the camper. They couldn't pick me up to take me outside, or wake me up, so this prompted them to call 911.
I couldn't stand or hear anything, so I figured I had done something right. This lasted for several hours. The hospital kept me on oxygen and kept me monitored for several hours (kept checking my blood). They said the oxygen in my hemoglobin was low, or the CO in my blood was high. I couldn't really remember, and it was hard to hear for several hours. After poison control and the doctor cleared me, I was taken to the psych ward.
I was in no pain.
3. 2 weeks later
Another rushed attempt, I should have planned it better. I obtained a large cooking pot that held about 10lbs of charcoal, I tried to empty the entire 16lbs bag into it but it wasn't big enough. I placed this on top of some wood so the floor wouldn't get too hot (didn't wanna accidentally burn the house down)
I was in an abandoned house next door, in a small bathroom. I had lit the charcoal, left it there for about an hour and kept monitoring it (again, didn't wanna accidentally burn the house down)
Started drinking outside while monitoring the big pot of charcoal every 5-10 minutes. It was going good, after about an hour I had noticed the smoke had dissipated throughout the house, and the charcoal was no longer smoking. I was tipsy enough to fall asleep, so I take a pillow and blanket to the bathtub to make a bed. I lied down and fell asleep.
Lying down I thought, "I finally did it!" I was right, this was a success.
However I didn't anticipate what was to come. I had awoken some time later with a strong urge to vomit. I left the confined room of CO and went to vomit outside. After this I lost my memory, but I woke up hours later, around 8AM, to my family banging on the door. After I went to vomit in the night, I barely made it back to the bathroom. I was lying in the bathroom floor, half in and half out with the door open. This allowed the CO to escape, and I had enough oxygen to stay alive.
So the timeline of my 3rd attempt was:
4AM - light 10lbs of charcoal in small bathroom of abandoned house
5AM - Make a bed in bathtub and go to sleep with the CO confined room, sealed up good
5AM - 6AM - Somewhere in this time window I had gotten up to vomit. I'm assuming it was before 7AM because the Sun hadn't started rising yet. I make it back to bathroom, but lie down in the floor with the door open
8AM - My family discovers my location
My brother had smelled a burning smell from the house, that's how the found me. I'm not sure if I barely made it back to the bathroom, or I intentionally let my CO go in an attempt to save my own life. I think I remember assuming that it would still do the job if I just got in the floor with the door open. In hindsight I see that was a big mistake. I should have went back into my bathtub bed and re-sealed the room. Next time I'll know to take a vomit bucket with me, and stay in the room.
Of course I spent another week in the psych ward after 3 days in the PCU. Again, my oxygen was low, and the CO in my blood was high, so I did the job, just failed to finish it.
I learned from my mistakes, but now I'm stuck at home with no alcohol, and no more charcoal. I am being monitored pretty much 24/7 by my family. I go to PHP daily (partial hospitalization, 4 hours of group therapy)
Hopefully this story gives you some insight. Plan accordingly, take everything into account, DON'T rush this. This is a major decision, and I was very lucky to come out of this without any permanent damage.
