Venting Musings of the final days

[Nineinchnails]

For context: I have BPD and been struggling with pain and sadness all my life.

After the last strand got cut i finally decided to do what I've tried to since my younger years, and been thinking a lot about everything.

Life keeps going, family doesn't have a clue, kitties are blissfully unaware of my pain, friends are too occupied with life, everything just keeps going.

And it brings me peace to see everything going, it makes me feel good that my death won't be really as big as a tragedy, just a dent in this world.

I am at peace, i feel this is the best option. i decided to choose myself over others, as I've been living solely to keep everyone happy.

Yet it still saddens me to see i couldn't get into anything with my favorite person (google the term for bpd), but all of this is just a message that i should take matters into hands and stop this suffering altogether.

I am calmly experiencing my last days, and even though i feel pain constantly, and my mother keeps saying horrible things, i know all this will end and i won't have to deal with this anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from all the suffering, best wishes, it must be a relief to feel at peace.