Mornings are the hardest

[aRose]

My disease impacts me the most when I sleep and upon waking. It's really hard to not give up and try to CTB every day between 2-5am
Today is particularly bad. I tried new medication supposedly for the pain and I think it made me worse overall.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so dreadful, I'm sorry you have to suffer so much in this torturous existence, it's so cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering.

 

[indianachrome]

i go through this as well. If i get a gun, one of these days i will just go use it

 

[aRose]

Obligations past 8am m-f are all that stop me.

 

[lpdsvm]

Sorry you are going through that. I cannot even imagine how hard it is to endure chronic pain.

 

[aRose]

For some reason my 5 am client hadn't shown up yet and the pain is so bad I want to down all my meds and just hope for the best. 3 different antidepressants, beta blockers, tramadol, and more… ugh

 

[RW__Asher23]

I know how you feel in the mornings with it being the worst time with your illness. I am terminally ill and will die from it but I wont allow that to happen. I am lucky to be in a state that just passed a new law, "Death with Dignity" which allows Dr to give lethal drugs to me when I will need them. That does not change however what I am living through almost every day. I had Lung Cancer which spread NSCLC Adrenocarcinoma. I have been fighting this for long time but that time is running out. Wish I had some encouraging words or wise things to say to you but I can only wish you a peaceful journey to whatever you do though the rest of your life and that it is what you want and peaceful in the end. Peace.

 

[aRose]

My disease is one where they just tell you to learn to live with it and then label you a crazy drug seeker if you can't. If I don't follow the exact diet and praise their efforts to provide me with next to nothing the doctors just blame me for not feeling well in the end.
It sure af feels terminal as my life has been destroyed by it.
I'm sorry you're struggling as well. It's pretty horrible being sick in a society that shuns sickness.

 

[Alpacachino]

You mean afternoons lol?

I get up late..and I get it.

 

[aRose]

You mean afternoons lol?

I get up late..and I get it.

Those are bad too lol but waking up after a bad nights sleep feels the most vulnerable

 

[Alpacachino]

Those are bad too lol but waking up after a bad nights sleep feels the most vulnerable

Actually, the joke was that I'm supposed to get up in the morning and my mornings are so bad that I stay in bed till the afternoon.

 

[aRose]

I wish I could make myself sleep that long. I've done that once in the past years time I think. The pain and nausea keeps me too uncomfortable to go into a legit stupor

 

[Alpacachino]

I wish I could make myself sleep that long. I've done that once in the past years time I think. The pain and nausea keeps me too uncomfortable to go into a legit stupor

Well, to be honest, I don't literally sleep in from morning to afternoon. I work nights so I get up late anyway cause I go to sleep late. But I know what you mean.A nice uninterrupted sleep without any waking up in between makes you feel like a whole different person in the morning.

 

[aRose]

Well, to be honest, I don't literally sleep in from morning to afternoon. I work nights so I get up late anyway cause I go to sleep late. But I know what you mean.A nice uninterrupted sleep without any waking up in between makes you feel like a whole different person in the morning.

Yeah i used to work an 11pm-7am shift. That's its own special kinda mind melt in itself.

 

[Pluto]

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I'm in bed as long as 8pm-8am now. The great sleep I get on trazodone is a curse in disguise because with my mind turned off it feels pretty good. I wake up and snooze but I was actually asleep until almost 6 today.

"I'll hang myself tonight."
"I'll hang myself early tomorrow morning."

That's the loop. Sleep is my only good experience. It's keeping me alive.

 

[aRose]

Isolation and sleep are keeping me alive rn. It's so nice to have almost zero expectations on me rn. Just dogs needing to be moved from one big cage (their house) to my big cage (my yard) lol