Venting Money

[Dizzylady80]

Money problems are pushing me over the edge. I'm trying so hard to hold off killing myself til at least April but everything is falling apart. I've got nothing left to sell. I've resorted to doing porn even tho I really don't want to and it makes me feel disgusting. I've "borrowed" so much from my friends that it's putting them in bad financial positions. If I can't make rent my options are moving back in with the man who sexually abused me as a child or becoming homeless again, which I won't do. And I can only work about half the time because of my pain condition.

This stress is eating me alive. I keep thinking "I'm so fucked I'm so fucked" constantly. The stress has been getting so bad that it's triggering flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and paralyzing me in my bed. It only eases up when I'm high and I can't afford weed anymore. My brain is screaming at me to do SOMETHING to ease the anxiety from this, plus the pain and depression, and there's just nothing I can do other than ending it. If I can just make it to April, disability services should either start helping or deny me, but I might get evicted before then and that feels like a goddamn lifetime away since the pain causes me to experience time dilation

 

[Darkover]

terrible situation to be in all because of money

 

[Ireallysuck999]

terrible situation to be in all because of money

Reality for me soon unfornattelly.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so incredibly horrific what you have to endure, it's such a cruel existence where all this endless suffering continues to exist, there could never be anything fair about this. Existing in this world really is the true nightmare for so many. But anyway, I hope that you eventually find the freedom that you wish for.