Money a key reason for ctb for anyone else?

[ssspadbye]

Is money a key reason for CTB for anyone else?

I feel like all the factors linked to my life that is making me CTB soon related to money. Related to my living and work conditions, physical, major problems for my family.

Like if I literally had say/someone randomly gave me say 5 million USD/EUR or so tomorrow, literally 99% of my problems would be resolved shortly, and I'd actually be able to lead a very happy life and do a world of good for others less privileged as well.

At this stage I'm planning to likely CTB tomorrow, and I was wondering - anyone else on the same boat?

 

[Alo97]

Actually I don't. I have money and that's not the problem. it's more like something that sits inside of us. I chased money and once I got it nothing changed, but I didn't count on it to improve my situation from the beginning. Maybe it will be different in yours, I know it is not easy and it would cost you a lot of energy, but out of two ways, contradictory people always choose the harder one, which is to see what will happen once you have the money. try and see

edit: i know you trying

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

This kills many. I'm sorry my friend. Money is partially the reason for me, too.

 

[We Are Angels]

I hate wage slavery. I struggle at finding and keeping employment too. So yeah, money would easily fix that. I would still CTB but not as soon.

 

[ssspadbye]

Actually I don't. I have money and that's not the problem. it's more like something that sits inside of us. I chased money and once I got it nothing changed, but I didn't count on it to improve my situation from the beginning. Maybe it will be different in yours, I know it is not easy and it would cost you a lot of energy, but out of two ways, contradictory people always choose the harder one, which is to see what will happen once you have the money. try and see

edit: i know you trying

Yeah, I guess in my circumstances, I've had a lot of time to digest, and I know the exact reasons why I'm choosing to CTB, and each of these reasons can be resolved with enough money. I'm not someone that needs to be filthy rich to be happy, and I was happy before. But while I do work, I don't have nearly enough to fix things, and my work itself is an immense source of added psychological stress for me that I can't seem to be able to escape either. I've tried very hard multiple times in other ways to make much money, honestly of course, but nothing's ever worked out yet. Maybe if something did, life would have been different. But I guess everyone has their limit, and I've just about reached mine, as things only seem to be getting worse around me. In the past, I've been someone with incredible amounts of motivation for the right causes, and have achieved some incredible things/surmounted some huge mountains. But, after all that I've lived and am living through, my candle's just about burnt out now. And it feels like time to put it out. Sure, that might change if I win the lottery tomorrow, but I'm rational enough to know that's not going to happen.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

But, after all that I've lived and am living through, my candle's just about burnt out now. And it feels like time to put it out. Sure, that might change if I win the lottery tomorrow, but I'm rational enough to know that's not going to happen.

I love the way you worded this -- "my candle's just about burnt out now." I feel the same.

For me, all money would do is (maybe) change the timeline of my CTB. It would happen sooner or later, though.

 

[ssspadbye]

I love the way you worded this -- "my candle's just about burnt out now." I feel the same.

For me, all money would do is (maybe) change the timeline of my CTB. It would happen sooner or later, though.

I guess I feel like humans we'll all ctb sooner or later in one way or another. If the "party is good," I may stay till the end. If it's not, might catch the next bus "home"...and right now, it's pretty terrible.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

While I do think that a lot of my issues are due to financial stress, I don't think I've been a happy person for such a long time that I wouldn't even know what to do at that point. I fear my mental health is too far gone at this point. The only thing coming into a lot of money would do for me is probably provide a more peaceful method for me to ctb.

 

[ssspadbye]

While I do think that a lot of my issues are due to financial stress, I don't think I've been a happy person for such a long time that I wouldn't even know what to do at that point. I fear my mental health is too far gone at this point. The only thing coming into a lot of money would do for me is probably provide a more peaceful method for me to ctb.

Aw, hope you find your peace.

What is a bit sad is I can actually clearly visualize (and even feel) the "happiness" I'd feel if money wasn't an issue. But I think I'll ctb before I'd have the opportunity to live that life, because I don't see that reality coming true.

 

[Tuonetar_]

I'm not in a terrible financial situation right now, because I at least make enough money to get by. My main problem is that I am so tired of "getting by." The thought of dedicating 40+ hours a week, 5 days every week, for the remainder of my adulthood to a job--any job--legitimately brings me despair. Every job I've ever worked at has burned me out so badly that I can't even find the energy or inspiration to commit to any hobbies, so I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of of working--sleeping to recover from work--working again. I could probably handle part-time a lot better, but a full-time job is the only way I can pay the bills and make ends meet every month.

So I guess my answer is yes, because I simply cannot handle working my entire life away.

 

[ConstantPain]

Money would definitely make a difference. I'm not saying it would make me happy but life would be far more tolerable. If I could leave my alcoholic, emotionally abusive husband, and afford to live in my own little home with my cats, I think I could at least find some peace. I can't imagine being excited for life or not wanting to die, but I think I could be more comfortable and tolerate my existence much better.

 

[AuroraB]

whichever comes 1st, running out of $ and/or food (climate change, food system collapse) will be the #1 reasons i CTB.

 

[h78272]

if i had money i could move out and disappear from my family, then i think i'd feel alot better. My will to make an effort and work has gone down and i cant find work anyways

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

If you are poor and disabled in this world you're cooked. Social class literally determines almost everything about the life that you live, how well you do in school, how you look, how people treat you, your health, etc.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

It is one of the reasons for me, yes. On top of many, many others.

 

[CogitoMori]

The lack of money and the fact that I have to contribute to slavery and pollution to make any at all

 

[DanielDanDean]

Obviously there is a big part of my reasons to CTB being about money.
Even if my life wouldn't be "happy" just with money I'd be able to escape from this shitty society and these shitty people.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I would be fine with a few million dollars.

The uphill battle ahead of me to make money, for decades, when I should have started a decade or two ago, makes me want to die.

Especially considering my work will not be fun or glamorous. All those youthful dreams fizzled out when my mental illness became apparent around 20yo. 35 now btw.

 

[Torabol]

Seedlings bloom into flowers only to be trampled by the lucky traveler.

 

[Douggy82]

Is money a key reason for CTB for anyone else?


Like if I literally had say/someone randomly gave me say 5 million USD/EUR or so tomorrow, literally 99% of my problems would be resolved shortly, and I'd actually be able to lead a very happy life and do a world of good for others less privileged as well.

Yep. The crazy part is that I didn't even need $5 million. I just needed the deep state not to drain my life savings. I would have got there on my own.

I'm not in a terrible financial situation right now, because I at least make enough money to get by. My main problem is that I am so tired of "getting by." The thought of dedicating 40+ hours a week, 5 days every week, for the remainder of my adulthood to a job--any job--legitimately brings me despair. Every job I've ever worked at has burned me out so badly that I can't even find the energy or inspiration to commit to any hobbies, so I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of of working--sleeping to recover from work--working again. I could probably handle part-time a lot better, but a full-time job is the only way I can pay the bills and make ends meet every month.

So I guess my answer is yes, because I simply cannot handle working my entire life away.

I had a good setup as a teacher. I could work 165 days a year and pay bills. Then, I'd have all other days free for hobbies and doing good in the world. Not a life a line-crossing file can choose. Infinite torture is the only path open.

 

[RiverOfLife]

Money would help, at least to the extent of delaying that trip. If I didn't have to worry about losing everything and could afford good therapy and medical treatment I wouldn't think about it as much.
Would it be enough? I don't know. If I remained in good health and treatment for depression worked, very likely. But I have difficulty imagining myself not being depressed.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

It's not the main reason, but it certainly adds to my desire to CTB.

I'm on disability, I'll be living in poverty for the rest of my life.

 

[phantomime]

Kind of. I'm unemployed right now and going through the toughest moment of my life apart from when I was in very bad poverty as a child, I feel like a defenseless kid again. Not knowing if you'll find a way to have a roof to live under and if you'll starve or not the following month is one of the scariest things ever. And everything that makes me happy costs money, so It'd make everything hurt less for sure if I could play the games I want to and have the toys I want to. But in the end I'm disabled and chronically ill so there is no hope for me because there's no cure and I'm not retarded enough to fall for the "quality of life" cope. I don't want to pretend I'm okay and healed because I don't think no matter the treatment I manage to get with money I'll still look in the mirror and see a deformed monster. It wouldn't solve the problem but not having money makes me want to die twice as much as I usually want to.

 

[flashoflight]

I've not been happy for the last 40 years, but just recently with the prospect of divorce and losing everything I've ever worked for being taken in an instant is more than enough for me. I've always been rejected by people my entire life, but now money is just going to push me over the edge.

 

[donwhitman]

For me yes. .similiar credentials to Dale Cheney but in a worse situation and Dale jumped off a building in NYC

 

[limerentsaudade]

I just want a safe place to live that's unconditional and to never have to worry about housing or ending up homeless ever again. That would solve 99% of my problems. The thought is always in the back of my head that I could end up homeless and every six months I have to move into a new sharehouse and there's no guarantee I'll find one (the rental market in my city seems to get more and more scarce every month). It literally keeps me up most nights with fear. Queer people in my city are basically competiting over friends couches at this point. I've lived on the street before. It's terrifying. I'm lucky I have friends who usually now bail me out every time I end up homeless (it wasnt always this way tho), but those friends are increasingly finding themselves in their own fucked up and housing related predicaments and I fear with the trajectory things are going it's only a matter of time before I end up homeless again. If only there was some kind of escape from this all where me and my friends can have unconditional housing and not be constantly at the mercy of a growing ruthless and hostile housing market that doesn't value human life.