Nervous friend called my mom today because I've been talking about suicide. He had his mom call my mom too, as if we were in preschool (he's 23 and I'm 20.) My mom cornered me as soon as she got home and basically freaked out at me, saying that if I killed myself it would destroy her and the whole family, and how it would be an "act of violence against us" and "do you even care??" Guilt tripping me. Now I feel forced to fucking stay alive, at least until this wears off. I know that if I die now, my mom would interpret it as an attack against them apparently, and she directly told me it would destroy her. What do I make of this? Do I have to continue living this shitty life due to her? Now I feel even more trapped here, if my mom isn't letting me leave. Jesus Christ can I get a break. I'm angry at my friend, my mom is being selfish, and I'm fucking trapped in this life. What do I do?
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Your life is yours alone. You decide it.
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
This is a typical case of emotional blackmail, so you need to do what's right for you. You don't owe your mother anything and whatever happens after existing shouldn't be of your concern. That "friend" deserves to be told one or two things at the bare minimum.
Escaper Boy
累坏了...
- Apr 11, 2019
- 245
I believe it's best to "lay low" for a while. Your mom's reaction is pretty much understandable, especially if she acted under quick emotional impulse. Hearing your son/daughter planning to ctb would freak almost all parents.
I don't think there is a clear cut "solution" for this situation. Shit had hit the fan, and you got a nice messy shitty things to deal with. But, please don't rush your ctb because of this. Being impulsive won't do you any favor.
Either way, I hope things will work out well for you soon. Wish you luck.
I don't think there is a clear cut "solution" for this situation. Shit had hit the fan, and you got a nice messy shitty things to deal with. But, please don't rush your ctb because of this. Being impulsive won't do you any favor.
Either way, I hope things will work out well for you soon. Wish you luck.
Divine Trinity
Pugna Vigil
- Mar 20, 2019
- 310
W
Why does your friend have your mom's number? (rhetorical question, don't answer)
Youthanasia
Wanderer
- Apr 18, 2019
- 117
Sucks for you but I must say thats a good friend you have. Surely you hate him now but that's what real friends do.
Hope everything works out the way you want. If it was me, I don't think I would bother thinking of others. Suicide is a very personal thing.
Hope everything works out the way you want. If it was me, I don't think I would bother thinking of others. Suicide is a very personal thing.
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
Tell your mother that if your life only matters because ending it would cause family turmoil, then she must agree with you that your life has no intrinsic worth.
It is my life right? I can decide what I want to do with it? I never asked to be here after all..
If you're smart about it nobody should be able to physically stop you. Whether you have the moral right is something you have to decide for yourself. Whether it'd be wise in your case I can't judge.
I wouldn't call your mother selfish: it's natural to want one's loved-ones to live and she would be a rotten mother if she acted indifferent to your wish to kill yourself.
Given that you talked about this with your friend one could think you wanted some kind of help. Telling people is laying a burden upon them: if they know it and you'die by your own hand they'll probably feel enormous guilt like somehow they could have and should have prevented it. This is what society tells us after all.
I'd think about this carefully and for all intents and purposes it's probably wiser to lay low for now at least.
Given that your mother knows and you clearly live with her it'll make things more difficult from a practical standpoint. If I were you I'd at least try to make an effort to improve your life enough to avoid CTB for now. At least then you could show your mother who clearly cares about you you valued her enough to try to live and perhaps this would make things easier for her although I'm not a parent (luckily) and I have no idea how she would feel.
I wouldn't call your mother selfish: it's natural to want one's loved-ones to live and she would be a rotten mother if she acted indifferent to your wish to kill yourself.
Given that you talked about this with your friend one could think you wanted some kind of help. Telling people is laying a burden upon them: if they know it and you'die by your own hand they'll probably feel enormous guilt like somehow they could have and should have prevented it. This is what society tells us after all.
I'd think about this carefully and for all intents and purposes it's probably wiser to lay low for now at least.
Given that your mother knows and you clearly live with her it'll make things more difficult from a practical standpoint. If I were you I'd at least try to make an effort to improve your life enough to avoid CTB for now. At least then you could show your mother who clearly cares about you you valued her enough to try to live and perhaps this would make things easier for her although I'm not a parent (luckily) and I have no idea how she would feel.
RodgerThat
It's over and out.
- Apr 23, 2019
- 84
Fuck that cunt and kill yourself. She's putting on a façade to temporarily stop you from dying. Don't let her control you anymore.
Rodger that - are you for real!? I am pro choice entirely but you re on another planet for calling OPs mum a cunt over this.
Your mum is not a cunt for not wanting you to die. If your suffering is beyond what you can tolerate then write her a letter and explain how much you tried but that you are at peace, your suffering is over etc now.
Mum will never in a million years agree or accept this. I hope OP can have a calm reasoned chat with mum. Explain your suffering. Don't mention suicide at all, just explain what has been going on for you and how much you are struggling. Although difficult to hear explain that outbursts like that from your mum do not help in any way. im not saying this will make you less suicidal but it may settle the situation at home so you can think more clearly for a time whilst you decide what you are going to do
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EmotionlessWanderer
Specialist
- Jan 19, 2019
- 352
No, that's completely the wrong attitude
betterdayz
Member
- Apr 24, 2019
- 8
RodgerThat
It's over and out.
- Apr 23, 2019
- 84
I think I was projecting a little. Sorry. After rereading the post I regret what I said.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
cool cool, a little sorry is fine
I do hate friends like that
and welcome to teenage years or living at home with mom years... thats how it is like..... I'm out of mom's house, I havent done shit... except work a little...and dont die...
you either do it... or find a way not to do it and live cool... damm...
many of us have issues...
my mom called me in the morning.... to say good morning... yes she loves me...
mom's are very difficult when contemplating ctb, its so difficult
so if you dont want to hurt her... yes, you're kinda of stuck in this shitty life.... but only kinda... cause we can get it unshitty... we just gotta learn how to...
and thats the issue. learning how to build an unshitty life,,, or remove shitty from the equation...
being good at your job... whatever it is you do... your profession or your studies... which im not...
having a good attitude.... . which I still dont...
developing other abilities.... I still dont... but I might be in progress??
I am myself in this path.... ( Although I have my N just in case all this shit doesn't work and I end up in a complete losing position and mentality)
fuck, damm, shit... but mom's are holding some of us back from ctb,..
yeah, and
P.S.
I love you too mom
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EmotionlessWanderer
Specialist
- Jan 19, 2019
- 352
Truth is if anyone CTB's their mom is going to be hurt no matter what if they're still alive or caring that is.
It's just more more easier to think about your mom if you're a teen, NEET or just staying in their house because you're with them 24/7.
It's just more more easier to think about your mom if you're a teen, NEET or just staying in their house because you're with them 24/7.
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TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,962
Since your "friend" betrayed you (even if he had 'good intentions') and spilled the beans, I would NOT trust him anymore. Depending on your relationship with him, I would keep him at a distance, if not outright just cut ties with him. As for your mom, you do what you feel is best and like others said, you don't owe anything to your mother, especially as a legal adult. You might feel bad about your mother grieving over suicide, but there is little you can do to control what others' think or feel so I wouldn't say that you owe your existence to them, just do whatever you feel best.
TheGoodGuy
Illuminated
- Aug 27, 2018
- 3,071
Lesson number 1 in life the only one in life you that wants the best for you and you can trust 100% is yourself, it doesn´t matter how close you are or how much you love them YOU are the only one who wants the best for YOU!
Manipulation. So the important thing for her is not her child has been going through an agony that can only be cured with self-destruction, but her family will be shamed, and she will be "destroyed". All her child's sufferings that maybe concluded with a violent pain of a bullet shooting through the skull or an intense fear before the last breath is nothing, comparing to her reputation among neighbors and the facade of "a good family". It is always "you" against "them", never "we" can work it through together. I'm very sorry for you. I have to say that your friend is a good one, but your mom is something else. If you happen to grow up, move away as far as you can
Ah i totally understand Rodgerthat. I call the whole world a cunt in my mind when im suffering so much. Its only natural to feel so angry when life is so unfair xx
It scares people hearing it is all. As a mum how can you say oh go ahead then. You can't. It may just be a gut shock reaction and hopefully mum will listen once she has cooled off. Some people who are hurt respond to that with anger; its her default position. I don't think its a selfish conspiracy.
OP, stay calm, be mature and ask to talk to your mum. If you go ahead with ctb you will know you did all you could to ease it for her
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asdasan
Carbon Monoxide
- Mar 7, 2019
- 54
Once she had you, her biology turned her into a protector (of genes). Her reaction is fully understandable.
However, your life is in your hands alone.
However, your life is in your hands alone.
DepressionsAHo
Heaven gained a new ho
- Feb 15, 2019
- 831
I don't think the friend deserves anything. It's a normal reaction to someone close to you telling them that you want to die. My best friend is suicidal to a degree and I do worry extensively about her. I told her in my note that if I found her in the after life before her time was up that she'd better be prepared to square TF up real quick. It scares me to think what she'll do when she finds out about me because I love her to death and she'll understand my reasoning behind it. I don't want this to be her way out like it was mine. That's an awesome best friend. Op I understand your anger but think about this from an outsiders point of view
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
One thing is worrying and another betraying you. He said that and he betrayed that trust, so he's no friend at all. A true friend supports no matter what, even if they want to ctb. So he's no friend, he's a traitor and deserves to be treated as such.
Dead beat dad
Enlightened
- Mar 5, 2019
- 1,029
Hey brother, this must be a very frustrating place to be. Not least because you've trusted your friend and tri d to alleviate your pain and in turn had it out back on you.
I think many here (myself included) can relate to that feeling of being guilt tripped after disclosing an intention to CTB or in my case getting 'saved.'
The only thing that can beat hate is love; your hate will not help you or anyone. Maybe with some love in your heart have a talk with your friend, and you mom and let them know how you feel and what their reaction has done to you.
Be prepared to do some listening to them as well, they don't want you to CTB, they want to help, they don't know (and like in my case I don't know what they should do but maybe you can work that out with them).
You can make peace with this situation with love, no matter what direction you take and decision you make.
Good luck brother, I wish you peace and send you (100% guilt free) love.
DBD
DepressionsAHo
Heaven gained a new ho
- Feb 15, 2019
- 831
But how can we know? From a best friends point of view I would want someone to get help as much as possible. Try every single route out there and as far as his best friend knows, he hasn't. No friend wants you to die. It's that simple, yes, we have valid reasons but often times when you love someone, you become blind to those reasons. Validity excused
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
Being blinded by petty emotion doesn't excuse treason. A true friend doesn't want their friends to suffer. By tattling on him he didn't help him at all, he just wanted to get on his pro-life high horse. If he really wanted to help, he'd ask what needed from him and do so. If that were my case I would probably lose my cool on them.
DepressionsAHo
Heaven gained a new ho
- Feb 15, 2019
- 831
To add my two-sense worth :)
From our perspective, it is very easy to understand feelings/ideation, and the act of suicide. But what I realise from having mental health issues, and the problems many people have in understanding these, we simply cannot expect people without suicidal feelings to understand the act. That is something really important to understand. A friend or parent who tries to stop you is no more selfish, than we are for considering the act (which isn't selfish I add). A friend who reports you will sincerely feel that what they are doing is in your best interests. It is the same as being sectioned for being suicidal: it is not against you, it is someone feeling they are doing what is right. We say that others don't understand our feelings, but we are sometimes guilty of not understanding the feelings of those who believe they are being protective.
From our perspective, it is very easy to understand feelings/ideation, and the act of suicide. But what I realise from having mental health issues, and the problems many people have in understanding these, we simply cannot expect people without suicidal feelings to understand the act. That is something really important to understand. A friend or parent who tries to stop you is no more selfish, than we are for considering the act (which isn't selfish I add). A friend who reports you will sincerely feel that what they are doing is in your best interests. It is the same as being sectioned for being suicidal: it is not against you, it is someone feeling they are doing what is right. We say that others don't understand our feelings, but we are sometimes guilty of not understanding the feelings of those who believe they are being protective.
DeadD
King Idiot
- Mar 28, 2019
- 46
Well first of all your mom sucks. Her first reaction to you being in so much pain you want to die...is to yell at you and make it about her? Nah. Fuck that. You deserve better.
Idk what to tell you about doing other than don't talk to that friend anymore, maybe avoid discussing with anyone who isn't already on the same side or a therapist. No one cares about the victims actual mental health. They only care about themselves and how they feel. Like yeah I guess thanks for liking me enough to want me to stick around, but honestly most everyone cares more about how they feel than how the suicidal people feel.
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