Mixed feelings

[Blackrose23]

Right now I'm in so much emotional pain. I really want to die to escape the pain.

But I'm scared to CBT at the same time. I have SN Im terrified to drink the bottle.

People say on here, don't drink SN unless you're completely ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready but I really want to die.

 

[Catching_the_bus]

SI is such a hard thing to overcome... I have heard the expression "don't think, just drink" when it comes to SN and that's ultimately what I am going to have to do to overcome the SI... It's such a weird feeling to know that you truly want to Ctb and you have every intent on doing so but your SI won't let you... It's true that you should be 100% sure that you want to Ctb before taking SN! But I do understand completely how hard it is to overcome that SI I wish you nothing but peace and good luck on whatever path you decide to take

 

[Darkover]

there should be a inbuilt way to cease functioning just by choosing it fuck this shitty machine that has us enslaved to live out our misery

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

i get this, yeah. last time i attempted cbt I knew i wouldn't be able to overcome SI for the method i chose so I overdosed on benzos and opioids to calm me down and make me not care, i had planned it so that even if i still couldn't jump, i'd lose my balance and fall or pass out from the 2nd wave of drugs i'd taken about 20 minutes before getting over the railing.
it would've fucking worked if some random douche hadn't grabbed me as i was starting to slip, i'm still mad about that.
but benzos usually suppress my inhibitions and emotions well enough that i can do very reckless shit despite SI, enough alcohol might have the same effect idk.
idk much about SN, or if benzos/alcohol interfere with it working; but if you are 100% committed to ctb and it wouldn't interfere, that could maybe help you overcome SI.

i wish you well, and hope you find peace whatever you choose to do...

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that after all, suicide is something which isn't always straightforward to go through with even if one has a reliable method. Only the individual can decide when it's the right time, but of course it's very much understandable wanting to finally be free from all the torment that this existence brings.