Misplaced feelings of contempt (personality disorder?)

[metfan647]

Why do I find myself developing a deep dislike for people around me for seemingly unwarranted reasons? Is this part of 'black or white thinking'?

The latest is my boss. I find her brash and overly assertive when she speaks (bordering on aggressive). Why do I spend so much time and energy labelling her in my head as the enemy and someone worthy of my contempt? Am I misoginistic? Would an overly assertive male boss bother me as much? Perhaps but I can candidly say her traits are not befitting or a woman. I'm only being honest with myself.

We have a very young University student trying to get experience in the office. A very shy sweet-natured girl and she insists on speaking to her in a jackhammer-esque fashion. How is that going to inspire her? Maybe I'm being hyperensitive and nobody else would be in the least bit bothered.

She speaks at 100MPH like a drill sergeant or an SS trooper barking orders at inferiors.

Why am I being so hypervigilant? Why can't I just not give this a second thought? I mean, there are no repressed desires at all towards her (at least not on a conscious level) so why so I let this bother me so much? She alone will make me hate this place.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I've always been like this. Feeling superior to others for no real reason. This attitude has a lot to do with how I misspent my life. Always thought my big inevitable blossoming was about to come.

 

[metfan647]

I don't know if I do feel superior to her. She is definitely far smarter and ruthless than I can be in public. She knows the area of work way better than me. Maybe I feel some sort of moral superiority. Maybe I'm not self-aware enough to recognise that consciously.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,

I don't really want to go into freeform gender critique/critical theory whatever here, or how religion and society and maybe G-d Himself wrought this, but aside from more reflexive less 'excusable' in modern civil society stuff perhaps you're rankling that that personality, wanton aggressiveness, social pecking order stuff rises to the top.

Like, with common sense it's not hard to maintain business goals without making everyone feel like shit or on the edge of a heart attack, but whether or not the acumen underneath is good, the fact that society says 'this is what you get in a leader and what society selects for a leader' is itchy.

If there's a gender mismatch between y'all.. G-d, I don't want to go into it but the hilarious and painful amount of misinformation between the popular genders is.. really prone to assuming based on all sorts of received stereotypes rather than even considering maybe everyone's a person trapped in one shape and biology of meat sack or another, so when you can smell the lack of insight on a personality.. ugh. Not sure it's that but tossing out some reasonable 'why this often feels like a disaster and often is' stuff.