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Nine
- Dec 8, 2023
- 198
Idk, I guess I just want to vent? I've just been so confused lately and I want to tell SOMEONE about it, I have a friend that I can talk to abt these kinds of things but they're also younger than me so I don't want to weigh them with my problems. I sh'd 3 days in a row and I want to keep doing it but right now there's people over and my family is pissed drunk, that and not to say my mom is always physically invasive so I wouldn't want to meet her with potentially bleeding wounds right now as I fear she'd notice them. the other day she got super invasive with me because she realized I was wearing a binder. (I'm not trans or anything I just dislike my chest size) I also don't think she's realized I'm only wearing long sleeves bc I've done it for months so thanks to that honestly, because I'm in no mood of answering questions about my clothing choice. Idk I feel like overthinking it has me acting less normal but I also lowkey forget about my wounds and act the same as I would without them, the only different thing now is I'm having urges to do it again. I was chilling in my room when my moms friend came over and asked what I was doing, joked about some things and slapped me on my arm, almost right where my recent cuts are. I didn't flinch and laughed and joked back, but my mind was sounding alarms dude… ugh I don't know what to do, I guess I'll sleep and maybe try again tomorrow…
