Middle Aged and Senior Aged Members

[Chupacabra 44]

Let's see if we potentially find a common theme here. My hope is perhaps this thread will have enough responses to potentially help younger members learn from our mistakes and our regrets.

If you could magically go back in time to your 20 year old self what five things would you change or avoid doing based on where you are today. Please rank these five things in order. (Feel free to make your list longer, if you desire).

I'll go first.

1) Not understanding the power of nutrition. I would go back in time and eat only whole unprocessed foods.
2) Instead of going to grad school for business, I would have continued my education in psychology after earning my undergraduate degree. I pursued an MBA, but really loved psychology. Went after potential financial gain vs following my heart. And, I personally find business "dirty".
3) While earning a graduation degree in psychology, I would have tried to coach American football at a university or high school. Football was my passion. I learned best to follow one's passion.
4) Would have learned mindfulness, yoga and self awareness and practiced all three daily. I went through life oblivious as to what was inside me. Plus, life long general anxiety and social anxiety hindered my life.
5) After getting my anxiety levels under control with step #4, I would have become active in charitable activities, as I have an altruistic side to myself.

 

[puppy9]

Thank you old people for this thread. You guys are kinda my dusty time machine.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Thank you old people for this thread. You guys are kinda my dusty time machine.

Stay abreast in this thread by the time we are done here you will know exactly what type of depend undergarments to purchase once you reach our age.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

33 here, so middle aged in my book.

1) Don't take family and friends for granted. Even though they don't really care, it's still better to have them vs not.

2) Balance being nice vs being stern. You can't always be the nice guy/gal.

3) True love like you see in the movies doesn't exist.

4) Learn a trade skill.

5) Have good work ethic, bills don't stop and this is just the beginning of your wage slavery.

Edit to Add:

6) If you're in a long term relationship or marriage ALWAYS maintain a private bank account. It's okay to have a joint one but still keep a private one your SO can't access. This kept me off the streets after my separation.

 

[Final Escape]

1. Don't have sex outside of a commited relationship particularly when u are young because unwanted or unexpected pregnancy is very high risk regardless of birth control and easy access to abortion. U don't want to ever be in the position to feel pressure to abort your baby.
2. Don't be tempted to do something easy and quick to make money especially if it's not socially acceptable and can get u into legal trouble. It becomes addictive to make fast money but there can be a high price to pay later.
3. What u should prioritize when young will be different for men and women depending on what you want and because the fertility of men and women are different. Women have the best chance to find a decent partner in our late teens and early 20's but men have a much longer window. IVF is not a guarantee if u wait to have kids as a woman.
4. If possible do not start using drugs of any kind. Especially things like alcohol, meth, coke, heroin. Chronic alcohol use will harm your ability to learn, memory, and impair judgement leading to stuff like unwanted pregnancy or worse. For some people even weed can be very addictive and not helpful even though it feels good.
5. Hold on to your friends from youth. Take relationships seriously. Don't treat people like they are disposable. You could end up alone in your later years if u keep moving from one relationship to the next. It also makes the subsequent relationships less likely to succeed after so many failed ones. Becomes harder to try again and again with new people.

 

[Deafsn0w]

I just turned 20, but I consider myself middle-aged.

if I could go back in time to my 20 year old self...

1) Don't ever try SN if you're not gonna ctb. It makes you vomit no matter how strong your stomach is.

2) Go travel and enjoy yourself before you ctb

3) Have courage to jump off the bridge at 18.

4) Buy N from C earlier this year so you have a higher chance to ctb because of the high purity.

5) Choose your own major. Don't let your parents choose your major.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I just turned 20, but I consider myself middle-aged.

if I could go back in time to my 20 year old self...

1) Don't ever try SN if you're not gonna ctb. It makes you vomit no matter how strong your stomach is.

2) Go travel and enjoy yourself before you ctb

3) Have courage to jump off the bridge at 18.

4) Buy N from C earlier this year so you have a higher chance to ctb because of the high purity.

5) Choose your own major. Don't let your parents choose your major.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I've just turned 40. If I could give some advice:

Play to your strengths - if you're good at something, unless you really rally want to, don't do it for free. You're worth more than you think.

Forever is a long time to work a shit job that you hate. Don't underestimate an education, it is never too late to learn. You're more capable than you realise.

You have to live in your body and mind forever. It's the most valuable thing you'll ever possess, look after it accordingly, with the respect it deserves.

Be kind. Or if you can't, don't be a dick. Being kind means to yourself, others and the planet - have some self respect.

You can sleep when you're dead, but if you can't sleep you'll wish you were dead, don't underestimate the value of decent kip.

I could go on but, trying not to be a dick.

Good thread, love and respect brothers and sisters.

DBD

 

[Deleted member 1465]

1. Don't do anything anyone tells you to do, without thinking about it first. Learn how to listen and observe your environment, your own body and mind and how to listen to others too. This way you can make realistic and honest decisions without letting the consensus steer you. They are all as lost as you are despite their impressive facebook posts.
2. Eat properly, learn how to do it and how to cook, eat whole, non-processed food. Stuff that comes in a packet and has a list of ingredients is not real food, even though it might be tasty and addictive.
3. There is no point in doing 2. and then drinking, smoking and taking drugs. So don't. This is really tough.
4. Get some exercise. It has to be something you enjoy though, or you won't stick at it. Preferably do this with others.
5. Be honest with yourself and think, feel and act appropriately. When you are happy, enjoy it; when you are sad, be depressed; when you are angry, let it rage. Don't repress. Don't be afraid to feel what you feel. Don't try to cure who you are with medication. Don't be taught how to think, feel and act by fools who do not themselves know how to think, feel and act.

These things are foundational. Everything else; sleep, relationships, work, personal projects, sits on top of these things. Without a solid foundation, everything crumbles eventually.
It's also all worthless.
Even if you could go back and tell yourself any of this, the younger you probably wouldn't listen or you would have done it right the first time. And advising someone else is next to worthless. You can't really learn from someone else's mistakes. You can try to, but it's not very effective. Only experience teaches properly and words are a poor substitute.

I suppose then, one rule would supersede them all: learn from your experiences and don't keep making the same mistakes!

 

[Sensei]

Follow your own path and embrace your peculiarities. If you suppress your true self, life becomes dull and pointless. That said, observe how average Joe and average Jane behave. They know how to play the game called ordinary life.

If you find true love, protect it and savour it. Life is short and you may not find it again.

Don't hesitate to follow your impulses. Surprisingly often, it leads to new experiences and broadens your mind.

You will spend eight hours a day at work, so make sure to find a job you enjoy. Be careful with stress at work, though. It wears you down, can give you serious mental problems, and even trigger dormant mental health conditions.

Study Zen Buddhism and learn to meditate. It gives you peace of mind and helps you live in the moment.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm in my late 20s but feel like I'm in 60s so my opinion isn't who was targeted here..but I have advice I wish I had followed:

1- Put yourself first, put your life first. I helped ruined my life putting an ex who couldn't care less about me first. I have nothing but sorrow and regret.

2- Take care of yourself physically. I did not and now I'm paying the price for it.

 

[TheQ22]

1) I'd have stuck in my career or found a new one rather than setting up my own business, it's a hard slog just to keep food on the table, whereas my job (which I hated) paid super well.

2) Make sure you pay into your pension, I'm getting older and mine is rubbish and pretty much worthless.

3) Don't try and stick in bad relationships - take the plunge and get out rather than splitting after 20 years when time has passed you by.

4) Be thankful for what you have and try to improve the things you don't like step by step, because time passes fast and before you know it, it will be too late.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

1. Don't do anything anyone tells you to do, without thinking about it first. Learn how to listen and observe your environment, your own body and mind and how to listen to others too. This way you can make realistic and honest decisions without letting the consensus steer you. They are all as lost as you are despite their impressive facebook posts.
2. Eat properly, learn how to do it and how to cook, eat whole, non-processed food. Stuff that comes in a packet and has a list of ingredients is not real food, even though it might be tasty and addictive.
3. There is no point in doing 2. and then drinking, smoking and taking drugs. So don't. This is really tough.
4. Get some exercise. It has to be something you enjoy though, or you won't stick at it. Preferably do this with others.
5. Be honest with yourself and think, feel and act appropriately. When you are happy, enjoy it; when you are sad, be depressed; when you are angry, let it rage. Don't repress. Don't be afraid to feel what you feel. Don't try to cure who you are with medication. Don't be taught how to think, feel and act by fools who do not themselves know how to think, feel and act.

These things are foundational. Everything else; sleep, relationships, work, personal projects, sits on top of these things. Without a solid foundation, everything crumbles eventually.
It's also all worthless.
Even if you could go back and tell yourself any of this, the younger you probably wouldn't listen or you would have done it right the first time. And advising someone else is next to worthless. You can't really learn from someone else's mistakes. You can try to, but it's not very effective. Only experience teaches properly and words are a poor substitute.

I suppose then, one rule would supersede them all: learn from your experiences and don't keep making the same mistakes!

Follow your own path and embrace your peculiarities. If you suppress your true self, life becomes dull and pointless. That said, observe how average Joe and average Jane behave. They know how to play the game called ordinary life.

If you find true love, protect it and savour it. Life is short and you may not find it again.

Don't hesitate to follow your impulses. Surprisingly often, it leads to new experiences and broadens your mind.

You will spend eight hours a day at work, so make sure to find a job you enjoy. Be careful with stress at work, though. It wears you down, can give you serious mental problems, and even trigger dormant mental health conditions.

Study Zen Buddhism and learn to meditate. It gives you peace of mind and helps you live in the moment.

I'm in my late 20s but feel like I'm in 60s so my opinion isn't who was targeted here..but I have advice I wish I had followed:

1- Put yourself first, put your life first. I helped ruined my life putting an ex who couldn't care less about me first. I have nothing but sorrow and regret.

2- Take care of yourself physically. I did not and now I'm paying the price for it.

I'm taking these three to heart, regardless of my age!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Some kinda good advice here but a lot of it looks like it really requires you to care about life and be kinda motivated in the first place tbh

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Some kinda good advice here but a lot of it looks like it really requires you to care about life and be kinda motivated in the first place tbh

As much as I like reading the advice I kind of agree. :/

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I just turned 20, but I consider myself middle-aged.

if I could go back in time to my 20 year old self...

1) Don't ever try SN if you're not gonna ctb. It makes you vomit no matter how strong your stomach is.

2) Go travel and enjoy yourself before you ctb

3) Have courage to jump off the bridge at 18.

4) Buy N from C earlier this year so you have a higher chance to ctb because of the high purity.

5) Choose your own major. Don't let your parents choose your major.

Your advice is good but I lol'd at how a lot of it relates to ctb and how I'm 26 and still feel like more of a child.

One piece of advice I'd have for younger-than-26 people is to not get drunk on alcohol or any mind-altering drugs until you turn 25. I have seen too many friends fall to addiction and lose brain cells and other cognitive functions because the brain doesn't fully develop until 25 even though the drinking age is 21 (or 18 depending on where you are). I know for a fact it happened to me too.

My other advice is for anyone looking to make a career out of playing video games competitively: start early. Your mind and body are sharpest when you're in your teens so it's important to nail fundamentals early on. It's not always gonna be fun either, you have to really work at developing your skills and practicing like with anything.

 

[Mr2005]

Join a forum and get some advice. Oh you've already done that