I wasn't the one telling someone else what happens when die, the person I was responding to was. I said we don't know, which is the actual truth. Everything else is made up.
The "correct response" is truth, that's all that matters. It isn't social niceties for the sake of it which may make people choose bad decisions and leave them worse off.
I feel your pain Sittichmutter! Like you SS helps me too to get a feeling for how my daughter felt and what she did and what kind of information she found. For example I've been reading Stan's instructions on SN. It's given me an idea of my daughter's last 2 days since I'm assuming she used the 2 day method.
Thank you so much for your kind words. My daughter hid it well too. I'm still kind of stunned about what happened.I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope your daughter didn't suffer and is at peace.
Please don't blame yourself, sometimes the signs are hard to see because we hide it so well.
Thank you for posting, you seem like a great mother, I pray for your healing
I am so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing your insights with me. I really appreciate it.im so sorry for your loss:( . i hope that you are able to get through this
Thank you!
First of all, my sincerest condolences for your loss. As one of the older folks here, I find the number of young people here saddening. I don't know if I ever had the privilege of interacting with your daughter, but I always aim to treat them with love as if they were the children I never had.
Greetings. Personally for me it's because I don't want anyone to try and stop me.
Circumstances vary by person, but I'll try to shed some light on this. To preface, I am in my mid-20s. I've expressed obvious (in hindsight) symptoms of depression since a young age.
. The aftermath teaches us to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, and for good reason. 
My condolences to you. I hope you find peace if you haven't already. Wherever she is, I m ow she's happy now. I know you're grieving but it's important to understand that it isn't your fault. You sound like an amazing mother and her death does not change that at all
Thank you for your kind words . I really appreciate it.
Thanks , i'm going to check out that movie! Suicide as a secret to happiness … I hope that's what it offered my daughter. I wish for her to feel beter. I love her so much.Circumstances vary by person, but I'll try to shed some light on this. To preface, I am in my mid-20s. I've expressed obvious (in hindsight) symptoms of depression since a young age.
My parents immigrated to the US with very little money and had me while working 2 shifts & studying in university. My family ate fast food because there was no time to cook. I was shuffled between daycares because my mom would frequently pick me up >1hr late. I attended a Lutheran preschool, but my parents were not religious themselves. However, the most detrimental change for me was moving from a modest, low-middle class neighborhood to a cutthroat, upper-middle class one. While this was well-intentioned on their part, I lost any semblance of belonging I had at my elementary school and was thrown into a "better" school. Gone were the days I'd look forward to attending class on the chance we'd have popcorn and a movie, make [burnt] planet cookies, tend to our school garden, or pet a snake/pig.
From 3rd-5th grade, teachers commented on my isolation from peers & lack of personal care (ie. wearing the same shirt several days in a row). My homeroom teacher found dog treats in my backpack and their first thought was that I was eating it myself... it was to feed a stray on my way home lol.
From 6th grade onwards, everything went to shit. I was put into accelerated learning programs and began skipping class. For Valentine's day, I sent a heartfelt candygram to a crush and was not only rejected (letter torn and thrown away), but bullied incessantly. Classmates called me names, pretended to be friends as a joke, and stole my iPod touch - which I got in trouble for, even though I didn't lose it. After being truant half the year, my school suggested putting me into inpatient. I was forcibly admitted (once dragged from bed in my underwear) to inpatient 6 times over the next 2 years. Between 24/7 monitoring, drug cocktails, and threats of residential, I never got better, only worse. Eventually, my district had enough and I was forced to attend a "therapeutic" aka special needs school. By 11th grade, I'd learned Algebra 3 times - because they don't serve well as a school. My first boyfriend, who was also in attendance, cheated on me twice and broke up the second time right before Valentine's day (ha, the irony).
Before 12th grade, my mom found a new job out of state and encouraged me to join her for a "fresh start". I didn't want to move, but my dad practically kicked me out of the house, so I went. My mom and I do not get along, so we fought and had the cops called on us several times. I continued skipping school, which led to a hefty fine and a choice between jail or attending yet another alternative school - this one for violent kids of all ages. Being the only Asian there, I'm surprised I didn't get stabbed, but I witnessed someone who did. I stopped showing up and bought my high school diploma instead (easy As). I continued onto community college for 4 years and transferred to the university I'm presently attending for 3 years now, in an attempt to obtain Biology and Biotechnology BS degrees. I'm 25 credit hours away from finishing, but I won't get to that point.
Society externalizes responsibilities for suicide because it's the easiest way to handle a symptom for which there is no simple cause. Anything that signals a desire for self-harm places us at risk of being put into an ambulance to the hospital, costing thousands without addressing the source of our problems. Therapists and suicide hotlines are supposed to be safe places for us to vent, yet they betray our trust in the same way. Those willing to listen without calling 911 - either by choice or because they can't (online anonymity) - generally make a bad situation worse by giving us pity, fake love, or assurances that everything "gets better"
Suicide is a complicated topic and as such, hiding doesn't feel like the correct word to describe why we keep ideations to ourselves. Instead, consider the various rationales we have for doing so:
It's also important to understand that suicidal individuals see things from a different perspective than the average person. The movie, An Elephant Sitting Still, does a good job showcasing this. While a normal person considers suicide to be a severe overreaction to a temporary problem, we don't view it that way. The finality of death provides us comfort, hope, and freedom - things we cannot reasonably obtain in life. Suicide is our little secret to happiness - one that comes with no baggage or terms. Some of us have learned that it's best to keep secrets as they are, or risk having everything ruined by those who don't understand.
- Minimize our embarrassment (ie. guilt of feeling this way when others are less fortunate, having to ask for help, being treated like a child to ensure our safety)
- Burden on family (ie. treatment bills, stress/fear of limited time together, adding to others' own problems, causing a cascade effect of familial suicides)
- Burden on society (ie. taking resources away from those in dire need who actually care about their lives, limiting avenues for others to CTB, misdirected blame)
- To be treated like normal human beings (ie. tiptoeing conversations as if we'll fall over dead when something negative is said, being labeled as crazy, homicidal, or a negative influence on others, getting fired).
