mental health vs relationships

[21Neberg]

Hi friends,

I was wondering what you guys think is the best way to handle a collapsing mental health in a relationship.

The cuts from self harm on my arm so fucking obvious, and its only a matter of time before the 'it was my cat' or 'accident' excuses fall apart. Hell, she's even asked me if I cut before, but I couldn't be honest with her then.

Is being honest about my suicidal ideation and self harm in my relationship good, or bad for the relationship? I'm afraid that once I open up that she'll want to end the relationship.

 

[15dec]

I feel like if you're in a relationship with someone you should be able to trust them with those thoughts and they should be able to understand and empathise with you, and not let your difficulties with mental health define your relationship.

In my opinion, if she did want to end the relationship due to your mental health, you're best not to be in a relationship with her as it would just hurt the both of you more if you stayed together. Some people will just find the added stresses of your mental health too much to cope with so it wouldn't be a direct attack on you -but I hope she would be able to understand how you're feeling and offer you support and still want to carry on your relationship.

 

[Redt2go]

Do you see a therapist? When I open up to people they get overwhelmed and sad. My ex told me that it was one of the reasons we didn't work out. It always to be like yeah but I'm seeing a therapist no worries. Then they don't feel responsible or scared

 

[21Neberg]

Do you see a therapist? When I open up to people they get overwhelmed and sad. My ex told me that it was one of the reasons we didn't work out. It always to be like yeah but I'm seeing a therapist no worries. Then they don't feel responsible or scared

Thank you for your response. I suspected that my declining mental health might be one of the reasons things wont work out. I'm going to see a therapist, and she's aware of it.

 

[21Neberg]

I feel like if you're in a relationship with someone you should be able to trust them with those thoughts and they should be able to understand and empathise with you, and not let your difficulties with mental health define your relationship.

In my opinion, if she did want to end the relationship due to your mental health, you're best not to be in a relationship with her as it would just hurt the both of you more if you stayed together. Some people will just find the added stresses of your mental health too much to cope with so it wouldn't be a direct attack on you -but I hope she would be able to understand how you're feeling and offer you support and still want to carry on your relationship.

I certainly hope she can handle it as well. She suspects I cut I think, since my excuses aren't very strong, however she has no idea about my suicidal thoughts. She knows I'm going to see a therapist due to anxiety issues, but she's already told me that my anxiety is worrying her and that she has trouble coping with it. So I guess we already know how she's going to handle it when she hears who I really am.

 

[15dec]

I certainly hope she can handle it as well. She suspects I cut I think, since my excuses aren't very strong, however she has no idea about my suicidal thoughts. She knows I'm going to see a therapist due to anxiety issues, but she's already told me that my anxiety is worrying her and that she has trouble coping with it. So I guess we already know how she's going to handle it when she hears who I really am.

I hope all goes well for you, sending hugs

 

[21Neberg]

I hope all goes well for you, sending hugs

Thank you. To be honest with you, this is my first relationship and it has given me constant panic attacks. We've been together for two months and I'm still not convinced she's interested in me. During our relationship, the constant anxiety of her not liking me and going out with other guys has made my mental health spiral down faster than ever. Perhaps it is better if I'm alone, at least one less person will be hurt by my CTB.

 

[15dec]

Thank you. To be honest with you, this is my first relationship and it has given me constant panic attacks. We've been together for two months and I'm still not convinced she's interested in me. During our relationship, the constant anxiety of her not liking me and going out with other guys has made my mental health spiral down faster than ever. Perhaps it is better if I'm alone, at least one less person will be hurt by my CTB.

Hopefully when you see the therapist you'll be able to mention that and get some support for it. I've had similar thoughts while in relationships and I've gotten a bit better at dealing with them over the years so I hope you can find ways to cope with or even reduce those feelings.

Perhaps it is better if I'm alone

Taking this a little bit of of context, do you think it'd be easier for you not being in this relationship and trying to find ways to cope with your anxiety and mental health? Reading this made me think that it could be a possibility to help you recover somewhat, especially since you said your mental health has suddenly worsened because of the anxiety you feel in the relationship. I'm not trying to suggest that breaking up with your girlfriend will fix your mental health and anxiety, though some people prefer to improve their mental state while single rather than as a couple. The decision on that is yours though so do whatever you prefer or feel is best, personally I prefer to go through things with someone by my side but we all have different ways to deal with things

 

[21Neberg]

Hopefully when you see the therapist you'll be able to mention that and get some support for it. I've had similar thoughts while in relationships and I've gotten a bit better at dealing with them over the years so I hope you can find ways to cope with or even reduce those feelings.

Taking this a little bit of of context, do you think it'd be easier for you not being in this relationship and trying to find ways to cope with your anxiety and mental health? Reading this made me think that it could be a possibility to help you recover somewhat, especially since you said your mental health has suddenly worsened because of the anxiety you feel in the relationship. I'm not trying to suggest that breaking up with your girlfriend will fix your mental health and anxiety, though some people prefer to improve their mental state while single rather than as a couple. The decision on that is yours though so do whatever you prefer or feel is best, personally I prefer to go through things with someone by my side but we all have different ways to deal with things

Thank you for your reply again. I appreciate it.

My mental health has certainly worsened in this relationship, which is why I suggested I might be better off alone (or dead lol). I understand your suggestion of going through it alone, but I still want to try and see if she can handle me at my worst. I want to see if she can handle my problems, because if she can, I too think I might recover easier.

Though as I said before, she's already told me that my anxiety is affecting her negatively. She said she's always worried how her actions will affect my mental health. So, she'll probably break up with me.

 

[15dec]

Thank you for your reply again. I appreciate it.

My mental health has certainly worsened in this relationship, which is why I suggested I might be better off alone (or dead lol). I understand your suggestion of going through it alone, but I still want to try and see if she can handle me at my worst. I want to see if she can handle my problems, because if she can, I too think I might recover easier.

Though as I said before, she's already told me that my anxiety is affecting her negatively. She said she's always worried how her actions will affect my mental health. So, she'll probably break up with me.

It's no problem :)

Yeah, I totally understand wanting to see if she can handle it or is willing to try, I'd do the same in that situation. I really hope she can help you, maybe having a conversation about what things trigger your anxiety could help you both, so she doesn't accidentally upset you and so she doesn't feel as worried about having a negative affect on your mental health too. I hope everything goes well for you though, but if things don't go so well myself and the rest of the community here are here if you need to vent or get advice or anything else

 

[21Neberg]

It's no problem :)

Yeah, I totally understand wanting to see if she can handle it or is willing to try, I'd do the same in that situation. I really hope she can help you, maybe having a conversation about what things trigger your anxiety could help you both, so she doesn't accidentally upset you and so she doesn't feel as worried about having a negative affect on your mental health too. I hope everything goes well for you though, but if things don't go so well myself and the rest of the community here are here if you need to vent or get advice or anything else

We've had that conversation - it's when she told me it affects her negatively too. Though we haven't had a conversation about my self harm yet. I'll see how things go, thank you so much for talking to me. I love this community!

 

[Exile]

Hi friends,

I was wondering what you guys think is the best way to handle a collapsing mental health in a relationship.

The cuts from self harm on my arm so fucking obvious, and its only a matter of time before the 'it was my cat' or 'accident' excuses fall apart. Hell, she's even asked me if I cut before, but I couldn't be honest with her then.

Is being honest about my suicidal ideation and self harm in my relationship good, or bad for the relationship? I'm afraid that once I open up that she'll want to end the relationship.

To be honest, I'm envious of anyone in this state who can have a long-term relationship. It's certainly not within my abilities.

 

[21Neberg]

To be honest, I'm envious of anyone in this state who can have a long-term relationship. It's certainly not within my abilities.

It only lasted a month and she ended the relationship the day after I posted this.

 

[Exile]

It only lasted a month and she ended the relationship the day after I posted this.

I'm sorry.

 

[Xerxes]

Sometimes we have to gain the perspective in their shoes if they we were to find out our wife or SO was contemplating suicide or harming themselves. I for one, would feel immense guilt that maybe I was the one that caused it or caused her to hurt herself. I would want her to feel happy again and in a calm, rational approach I would ask her, "think of something that would make you happy?" It's in these throes of life that the person we are with bear the brunt of our anguish and depression. It's hard to keep that relationship going for their sake and ours. I'm surprised my wife hasn't left me yet, or maybe she's waiting for me to get better and then leave.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Is being honest about my suicidal ideation and self harm in my relationship good, or bad for the relationship? I'm afraid that once I open up that she'll want to end the relationship.

Every single time I've been honest about my suicidal ideation, it's failed spectacularly. Even when the other person is also suicidal. I'm terrified of other people now and (other than anonymously online) keep my mouth firmly shut or talk about superficial, meaningless things to feign sociability.

 

[Final Escape]

Hi friends,

I was wondering what you guys think is the best way to handle a collapsing mental health in a relationship.

The cuts from self harm on my arm so fucking obvious, and its only a matter of time before the 'it was my cat' or 'accident' excuses fall apart. Hell, she's even asked me if I cut before, but I couldn't be honest with her then.

Is being honest about my suicidal ideation and self harm in my relationship good, or bad for the relationship? I'm afraid that once I open up that she'll want to end the relationship.

I think you should be honest but maybe not bring it up right away when u meet someone. You met someone new did u? I remember not long ago you were tore up about a girl :)

 

[21Neberg]

I think you should be honest but maybe not bring it up right away when u meet someone. You met someone new did u? I remember not long ago you were tore up about a girl :)

This thread is a couple months old.

 

[Redt2go]

This thread is a couple months old.

:(

 

[Final Escape]

This thread is a couple months old.

Oh god sorry now that I'm off adderall lol! Sorry. Pretty inattentive, at least for now. Hoping it improves

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Hi friends,

I was wondering what you guys think is the best way to handle a collapsing mental health in a relationship.

The cuts from self harm on my arm so fucking obvious, and its only a matter of time before the 'it was my cat' or 'accident' excuses fall apart. Hell, she's even asked me if I cut before, but I couldn't be honest with her then.

Is being honest about my suicidal ideation and self harm in my relationship good, or bad for the relationship? I'm afraid that once I open up that she'll want to end the relationship.

The girl I know and love works at a clinic and psych ward and she loves theatre and all and we are perfect for each other as we were born for each other and she knows how suicidal I am and it kills her every time I attempt so that is why I want to get my act together for myself and everyone else whoever told me to get my act together but it all depends on the person don't take my word for it.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I feel like if you're in a relationship with someone you should be able to trust them with those thoughts and they should be able to understand and empathise with you, and not let your difficulties with mental health define your relationship.

In my opinion, if she did want to end the relationship due to your mental health, you're best not to be in a relationship with her as it would just hurt the both of you more if you stayed together. Some people will just find the added stresses of your mental health too much to cope with so it wouldn't be a direct attack on you -but I hope she would be able to understand how you're feeling and offer you support and still want to carry on your relationship.

I agree 100%