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ALonelyFreak

Member
Dec 7, 2024
99
Sorry this isn't a very good coherent and easy to understand thread but I've forgotten what I wanted to post (so ironic). I tagged it venting but idk if I'm actually bothered by it.

I have autism so people think my memory must be outstanding. No it's not XDD I worry that if I somehow live up to my fifties I will be diagnosed with Alzheimer and stripped of my rights thankfully I'm merely in my twenties yet. You can tell me all your secrets I will forget them unless they are actually scandalous.
I change my political views often because I don't remember what they were and I always rethink the matter from scratch. I don't remember what books I've read. I read a lot of books but don't bother talking to me about books. Idk what books I've liked I only remember books from last year. I remember a few about books I've read earlier but hardly any details.

Obviously it has some advantages because I don't remember my traumas. However when I wanna talk to somebody about the trauma I cannot. For example first half of 2024 was literal hell for me but I don't remember in detail why. I can talk vaguely about that but If I do I'll be a snowflake because without the details it isn't bad. Or when I went to an allergy doctor with my father when I was a child. She asked me sth like "do you ever cough without a reason" (do you cough when you're not having a flu or cold) and I said no and my father was mad YOU ARE ALWAYS COUGHING. And I honestly didn't remember coughing at all for no reason in past six months.

I think I have DID dissociative identity disorder aka a lot of personalities in me. I see like very clear signs and the next week I forget there were signs and I don't know why I think I have DID. Don't worry other personalities don't mind me posting on SS (and if they do it's their problem). I tried to tell my shrink there are people in me who sometimes steal my body but he said it's normal. I don't have schizophrenia thankfully for sure. They checked me for that.

I told my shrink about my memory problems a few years ago and she didn't care. She isn't my shrink no more. ADHD causes memory problems but only short term memory and I got problems in memory in general. Thankfully I can study just fine though I don't remember studying. But I retain info just fine.

I just don't wanna be considered a bitch/mf because I forgot something and I'm incoherent. Cuz my behaviour is completely random and I don't wanna hurt nobody cuz I forgot something.
 
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