Help Memory Loss and Calmness

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm at the point of my life where I don't know whether I am genuinely in a stable period, manic or numb but my intense emotions and things I developed from trauma have disappeared and I am constantly calm/ happy for no reason. The strange thing is I don't know if this is recovery as I woke up like it one day and because I've spent my entire life in survival mode and severe mental illness and now I'm not in that state I have no memory of my life. I don't know if this is because I can no longer access the emotions I felt for so long so the memories are locked away or whether this is a normal part of recovery? I had planned to start trauma therapy but now I have no memories of the abuse I went through during my childhood so I had to stop as I wasn't able to recall anything.

Has anyone else experienced this in their life as part of recovery?

 

[timf]

I am grateful my memories of childhood are so poor. I remember abuse, but my sister remembers it much more frequent than I do, It may be like a car accident. There would seem to be no advantage in constantly reliving it.

 

[calebzz1]

I'm at the point of my life where I don't know whether I am genuinely in a stable period, manic or numb but my intense emotions and things I developed from trauma have disappeared and I am constantly calm/ happy for no reason. The strange thing is I don't know if this is recovery as I woke up like it one day and because I've spent my entire life in survival mode and severe mental illness and now I'm not in that state I have no memory of my life. I don't know if this is because I can no longer access the emotions I felt for so long so the memories are locked away or whether this is a normal part of recovery? I had planned to start trauma therapy but now I have no memories of the abuse I went through during my childhood so I had to stop as I wasn't able to recall anything.

Has anyone else experienced this in their life as part of recovery?

I get what you are saying.

I feel an inner peace of my situaiton after realizing there is no single treatment to improve my condition at this time.

I am heavily scattered though and struggle with memory recall a lot unfortunately, personally I suppress my emotions a lot since that is the only way I can move forward.