ariewist
Member
- Sep 23, 2023
- 13
I have come to terms with it. I am at peace, gave myself two more years but I know that I'm at a point where I sabotaged my life to not really progress. It's inevitable, and I know if I stay longer it's just going to be the same. The people that you think are in your corner, there's still a barrier that I can't connect to. I'm detached and have to mask so that I don't cause problems.
Substances help, but even the people that love you that don't understand you and just try to offer advice even if it's out of good will, to resent yourself even further. You feel like a neutered infant to a point where it gets louder and louder as you go from childhood, teens, to being an adult, and there are very bleak options remaining. Now it's just for the initial physical pain that comes with methods, but the acceptance is near.
I'm free and to a point where acting like you're fine and hiding the pain is OK. Once you have a way out, your mind has hope, that you have the option to leave any time.
Substances help, but even the people that love you that don't understand you and just try to offer advice even if it's out of good will, to resent yourself even further. You feel like a neutered infant to a point where it gets louder and louder as you go from childhood, teens, to being an adult, and there are very bleak options remaining. Now it's just for the initial physical pain that comes with methods, but the acceptance is near.
I'm free and to a point where acting like you're fine and hiding the pain is OK. Once you have a way out, your mind has hope, that you have the option to leave any time.
