There was a thread a while ago that was specifically about who did and didn't need get it, and how long shipping took. But then it got overtaken with drama accusing people of lying, promoting scammer alternatives, etc.
Nothing you read on a forum will be guaranteed accurate. Some people are lying for malicious reasons such as to promote scammers, some are sharing false info that they truly believe is accurate, some are exaggerating or using this forum as a sort of fictional role-play, some just want to fuck with people, and of course some are honest and want to help.
There are always risks buying N: you can be ripped off, your package can get lost, it can get stopped by customs, it could all turn out to have been a "honeypot" that gets you arrested.
This is a difficult situation for everyone here. It absolutely is not an easy choice or one that should be made impulsively or purely emotionally. You need to be honest with yourself about the risks and plan ahead of time what you'd do if any of the negative outcomes come true. For many people, the risks aren't worth it and they'll end up choosing to stay alive, perhaps in the form of constant suffering, or perhaps this will be what turns their life around. It's a very personal decision and there's no way to see your own future with certainty.
Unfortunately the only risk-free way to access N is by spending the 10k euro to do the process formally in Europe, assuming you'd even be approved, which most of us wouldn't be. If you have the funds and the appropriate medical records, doing all of this legally with physician oversight is obviously preferable.