Sunshine

Sunshine

Experienced
Jan 11, 2019
205
What meds or substances can you recommend that make you chill and at peace with the idea of dying while you kill yourself? Especially stuff that doesn't stop N or SN from working?
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
Medical marijuana
 
G

Guizin239

Student
Aug 6, 2019
116
I'm also interested. The only one I know of is alcohol.
 
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TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Alcohol but I don't think it works with SN
 
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Deformationalplagio

Born deformed
Dec 28, 2019
376
I dont know really but i dont think marijuoana is a good idea it can make you very self aware and paranoia in bad situations maybe alcohol
 
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EBEN30

Member
Jan 12, 2019
81
Here's the problem, there's nothing you can take that will make you be 110% willing to kill yourself. No drug can do that, it's mind over matter.

People who have conquered the SI have done so by making peace with their decision and being 110% sure it's what they want to do. Even then, a good portion of people will still likely be a little anxious, scared and nervous in their final moments, this is perfectly normal and is human nature.

Yes, certain drugs can make you less likely to 'care' and give you a little more 'courage' and a 'couldn't care less what happens to me' attitude, but the issue is, to get that feeling from any drug, you'd have to take it in such excess that, that alone could impact or put at risk your method of CTB.

For example, everyone knows that for most people, getting drunk as a fart will give you that 'care free' attitude and 'dutch courage' you need to maybe fight SI and get the job done. The issue is, being that drunk could result in failure when it comes to ctb. For example, it would be a terrible idea to combine alcohol and SN as it will likely increase the risk of vomiting.

Everyone responds to drugs differently I suppose but for the most part I honestly don't believe taking any type of sedative will make SI 100% vanish.

Like, people on here recommend people take Xanax or Valium or whatever else to calm the nerves and stuff. I've tried every sedative or benzo on the market and taking them in moderate doses where you can still have capacity and control over your thoughts and actions, taking it in those 'normal' doses, I honestly don't think it will do much in easing SI.

Sure, try it, for the most part it doesn't harm and can only potentially help but I often fear people on here are wanting some magical pill that will make any fear or doubt or nervousness or anxiousness just totally disappear/vanish, to me, that's just an unrealistic goal and approach to have.

I think, understanding and accepting that there will always be an element of survival instinct that kicks in and you have to combat, is a much more reasonable thing to accept and plan for. I think a big part of it will boil down to meditation and mind over matter rather than what drug you've taken. Re-affirming why you're doing it and telling yourself that your thoughts and feelings are natural but that everything is going to be OK, will likely work much better than any pill you can take.

Normally I'd say to people if SI is very strong it's likely there's still a lot of doubt there and that it's possible you may want to look into other solutions and getting help to resolve your issues before committing to CTB. CTB will always be there and will always be an option should you want and choose it and there's no rush to that final destination, when you're good and ready you'll reach there and there may still be some SI but it will be a lot easier to deal with once you're good and ready and 110% sure.

That's just my opinions anyway.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
benzodiazepines in general, gabapentinoids like pregabalin and gabapentin, and probably Z-drugs like zolpidem could also help with it.

there is also alcohol but i wouldn't recommend since it increases the risk of vomiting.

Medical marijuana

i would be cautious with cannabis, it has anxiolitic effects but it can also cause great anxiety and even panic attacks, specially in this situation where you can overthink everything that's about to happen.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Your best bets are drugs that are given for anxiety. There are benzos, of course. But also things like gabapentin and propranolol. Nothing is going to erase SI, but they can make you feel calmer and worry less or just not care.

Alcohol isn't a good option because it can really impair your ability to function or make you pass out when you don't want that. It can also increase your risk of vomiting.
 
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APharmaDestroyedLife

APharmaDestroyedLife

Your RX drugs are likely your real problem
Nov 4, 2019
305
Here's the problem, there's nothing you can take that will make you be 110% willing to kill yourself. No drug can do that, it's mind over matter.

People who have conquered the SI have done so by making peace with their decision and being 110% sure it's what they want to do.
I agree with this 100% even the act of taking the drug to overcome your Si would still trigger your Si because you know why you are taking the drug. On the otherhand if the drug makes you feel good enough you will not likely go through with it.

Si kicks in anytime you start thinking about, planning, or taking steps to CTB. Some people have stronger Si than others.

Ultimately It is a battle with yourself, i believe everyone has a breaking point where their pain becomes greater than their Si.

Its not really something you can control, because it is your perception of danger or death that triggers the Si.

I used this example before:
Your friend points what you think is a fake gun at you joking around with a smile on their face. They pull the trigger and it wasnt a fake gun at all. They shot you. But leading up to that point you had no Si at all because of your perception.

Now a stranger points a squirt gun at you in a parking garage and is screaming they are going to kill you unless you give them your keys and money. You would go into full panic survival mode even though you were never really in any danger.

It's all about perception, and there is no drug strong enough to change that perception, and if there is, I am sure you will completely forget about ending your life. Also... if you find such a drug let me know okay :blarg:
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I'm so depressed and feel so hopeless that I've gone past my SI. Only reason I'm still alive is because my meto hasn't arrived yet and I want my attempt to be virtually guaranteed to work.
 
k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
I'm so depressed and feel so hopeless that I've gone past my SI. Only reason I'm still alive is because my meto hasn't arrived yet and I want my attempt to be virtually guaranteed to work.
I'm not trying to discourage you, but SI is a tricky thing. I've seen people say what you just did but back out at the last minute because they couldn't make themselves take the last step. I think you never truly know until you're actually at that point how bad your SI really is. I don't think it's possible.
 
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waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I'm not trying to discourage you, but SI is a tricky thing. I've seen people say what you just did but back out at the last minute because they couldn't make themselves take the last step. I think you never truly know until you're actually at that point how bad your SI really is. I don't think it's possible.
Yeah you could be right. the true test will be when I get my meto.
 
purplemoon

purplemoon

I Have the Light Inside, Surrounded by Darkness
Sep 22, 2019
394
Here's the problem, there's nothing you can take that will make you be 110% willing to kill yourself. No drug can do that, it's mind over matter.

People who have conquered the SI have done so by making peace with their decision and being 110% sure it's what they want to do. Even then, a good portion of people will still likely be a little anxious, scared and nervous in their final moments, this is perfectly normal and is human nature.

Yes, certain drugs can make you less likely to 'care' and give you a little more 'courage' and a 'couldn't care less what happens to me' attitude, but the issue is, to get that feeling from any drug, you'd have to take it in such excess that, that alone could impact or put at risk your method of CTB.

For example, everyone knows that for most people, getting drunk as a fart will give you that 'care free' attitude and 'dutch courage' you need to maybe fight SI and get the job done. The issue is, being that drunk could result in failure when it comes to ctb. For example, it would be a terrible idea to combine alcohol and SN as it will likely increase the risk of vomiting.

Everyone responds to drugs differently I suppose but for the most part I honestly don't believe taking any type of sedative will make SI 100% vanish.

Like, people on here recommend people take Xanax or Valium or whatever else to calm the nerves and stuff. I've tried every sedative or benzo on the market and taking them in moderate doses where you can still have capacity and control over your thoughts and actions, taking it in those 'normal' doses, I honestly don't think it will do much in easing SI.

Sure, try it, for the most part it doesn't harm and can only potentially help but I often fear people on here are wanting some magical pill that will make any fear or doubt or nervousness or anxiousness just totally disappear/vanish, to me, that's just an unrealistic goal and approach to have.

I think, understanding and accepting that there will always be an element of survival instinct that kicks in and you have to combat, is a much more reasonable thing to accept and plan for. I think a big part of it will boil down to meditation and mind over matter rather than what drug you've taken. Re-affirming why you're doing it and telling yourself that your thoughts and feelings are natural but that everything is going to be OK, will likely work much better than any pill you can take.

Normally I'd say to people if SI is very strong it's likely there's still a lot of doubt there and that it's possible you may want to look into other solutions and getting help to resolve your issues before committing to CTB. CTB will always be there and will always be an option should you want and choose it and there's no rush to that final destination, when you're good and ready you'll reach there and there may still be some SI but it will be a lot easier to deal with once you're good and ready and 110% sure.

That's just my opinions anyway.

You're an excellent writer with thoughtful points. In my previous attempts, I was very emotional yet hopeful, as I contemplated trying to finally escape from this realm again.

Xanax was helpful, although I suppose everyone is different as everyone has a different biochemistry, etc.

It has been years since I was a teenager around this stuff my friend did often (wow, she was sooooo happy on it), Lol, but one thought might be if someone can safely access Ecstasy perhaps? It's a big legal risk though, as trying to find it could actually end up making someone's life a million times harder. Alcohol seems to just limit people's ability to think through actions to make ctb happen, at least for some.

Survival instinct is definitely difficult to overcome.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
Yeah you could be right. the true test will be when I get my meto.
Yeah, if you're anything like me, things just won't feel real until you have all your supplies in front of you. I can't describe the feeling that hit me.

Good luck with whatever you decide, though. I'm sorry you feel so bad. If you'd ever like to talk, you can always send me a PM.
 
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