Meds are working: i'm relieved and didappointed at the same time

[LonelyPrince]

I don't have extreme mood swings like before and feel somewhat stable throughout the day, yet I don't feel happy about it...but almost disappointed?

Sometimes I think: I'll go home and suffocate myself/cut myself!
However, the urge is never there. I don't feel the need to and it kinda bothers me.

Hurting myself makes me feel exhilarated, it feels right, but now I really don't feel like doing so.
I'm even actively planning for my future, showing up for work and thinking about studying for a driver license.

I don't know what's happening. Happy chemicals are truly something

 

[LostZombie]

It seems that you have a void that needs to be filled by something, it used to be SH for you but think what could you do instead? Find something fun to occupy your time, maybe try out a new hobby. Find something that will give you reason, and meaning. It may be hard but trust me those chemicals will make you into a human again, not just a being.

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

I'm curious, what meds are you on right now?

 

[LonelyPrince]

I'm curious, what meds are you on right now?

Zoloft and olanzapine

It seems that you have a void that needs to be filled by something, it used to be SH for you but think what could you do instead? Find something fun to occupy your time, maybe try out a new hobby. Find something that will give you reason, and meaning. It may be hard but trust me those chemicals will make you into a human again, not just a being.

I have already a purpose aside sh which is art, but depression doesn't let me pursue it at its fullest

 

[MapleS]

I'm happy for you
It's weird at first butd
you will get used to it.