nottinghams
Official Written Apology for Being a Buzzkill
- Apr 15, 2024
- 272
Hi guys.
I have a unique problem of medical issues causing me not to attempt. Actually, last week I finally felt a little better and was extremely calm to attempt. But that night I began to feel very sick and very scared.
Why is this happening to me? I'm so chill with it, but there is something physiological handicapping me.
On Monday I suspected withdrawal from a psych med (lamictal) that my doctor (slowly) took off, and I never wanted to. I managed to convince her to put it back the same way, and I think I'm getting better on that. Guess I'll have to wait and see.
(I won't give a full med history) But since then I have had mind numbing bladder pain, chest pain, difficulty breathing, blood pressure regularly 130/100, and loss of feeling in my hands, neck, and legs, sensitivity to light, and bad head pain.
I think these symptoms are from something also causing neurological issues, fear and delirium.
So physically I feel so sick to CTB and neurologically it makes the emotions and decision-making difficult and all skewed.
I just wanna say I'm dealing with difficult doctors that see I'm sick but cannot be bothered. I've made an appointment with my PCP, but less focused on diagnosis and more saying what I need to relieve this (obviously not telling him im suicidal) I will describe the urgency as pain relief needed and be as dramatic as I have to. This shit is really painful.
I want to ask for anti-inflammatory steroids, antibiotics, and maybe even a low-grade opioid patch (literally only for relief lol not my method) I have thought as well about hyperbaric therapy, and perhaps I will try drinking more + weed edibles.
I can absolutely tell I'm ready and don't give a damn but chemically there's something wrong. if you know anything else I could do, what else to ask my doctor/psychiatrist for, please comment. its infuriating to be mentally fine and there are medical problems creating issues when trying to suicide.
And I am so afraid of how long this will go on.
I have a unique problem of medical issues causing me not to attempt. Actually, last week I finally felt a little better and was extremely calm to attempt. But that night I began to feel very sick and very scared.
Why is this happening to me? I'm so chill with it, but there is something physiological handicapping me.
On Monday I suspected withdrawal from a psych med (lamictal) that my doctor (slowly) took off, and I never wanted to. I managed to convince her to put it back the same way, and I think I'm getting better on that. Guess I'll have to wait and see.
(I won't give a full med history) But since then I have had mind numbing bladder pain, chest pain, difficulty breathing, blood pressure regularly 130/100, and loss of feeling in my hands, neck, and legs, sensitivity to light, and bad head pain.
I think these symptoms are from something also causing neurological issues, fear and delirium.
So physically I feel so sick to CTB and neurologically it makes the emotions and decision-making difficult and all skewed.
I just wanna say I'm dealing with difficult doctors that see I'm sick but cannot be bothered. I've made an appointment with my PCP, but less focused on diagnosis and more saying what I need to relieve this (obviously not telling him im suicidal) I will describe the urgency as pain relief needed and be as dramatic as I have to. This shit is really painful.
I want to ask for anti-inflammatory steroids, antibiotics, and maybe even a low-grade opioid patch (literally only for relief lol not my method) I have thought as well about hyperbaric therapy, and perhaps I will try drinking more + weed edibles.
I can absolutely tell I'm ready and don't give a damn but chemically there's something wrong. if you know anything else I could do, what else to ask my doctor/psychiatrist for, please comment. its infuriating to be mentally fine and there are medical problems creating issues when trying to suicide.
And I am so afraid of how long this will go on.