I often think about suicide. However I don't want to give up and turn to fatalism or nihilism instead. The latter approach brought a lot of pain with it.
I can understand that many people who are at rock bottom will laught at that notion "to make the best out of it".
But personally I try to look at things from different perspectives. I want to give recovery and life a fair shot. Probably even more than one.
For me it is a lot about probabilities. I try to enhance the chances for success as good as possible. So I even try things which I do not consider as very promising. With my therapist we tried to make me more stable in a systematic way. I planned a lot and analyzed all the possible factors. It is still impossible to predict the future. But at least one can try to increase the likelihood to have a better life.
The hand I was dealt with was pretty bad. I pressure me way too much. In the end one never has the full control about the outcome. But what is the alternative to this approach? Giving up felt horrible for me. The depression was extreme when my therapists gave me up. I think I am not made for that. I don't mean I won't commit suicide. But I rather burn out in the attempt to survive.
Always thinking and anaylzing is also treacherous when we think about recovery. It took a lot of courage to attend university again. I would have given up way earlier without my support system who encouraged me to try it further. I kind of owe them my current life quality. I think my life quality is on average still pretty bad but I have in some aspects made clear progess which I am very happy about. I am not happy (about my life) though. But relatively speaking the approach to make the best out of it increased my life quality.
I can understand that many people who are at rock bottom will laught at that notion "to make the best out of it".
But personally I try to look at things from different perspectives. I want to give recovery and life a fair shot. Probably even more than one.
For me it is a lot about probabilities. I try to enhance the chances for success as good as possible. So I even try things which I do not consider as very promising. With my therapist we tried to make me more stable in a systematic way. I planned a lot and analyzed all the possible factors. It is still impossible to predict the future. But at least one can try to increase the likelihood to have a better life.
The hand I was dealt with was pretty bad. I pressure me way too much. In the end one never has the full control about the outcome. But what is the alternative to this approach? Giving up felt horrible for me. The depression was extreme when my therapists gave me up. I think I am not made for that. I don't mean I won't commit suicide. But I rather burn out in the attempt to survive.
Always thinking and anaylzing is also treacherous when we think about recovery. It took a lot of courage to attend university again. I would have given up way earlier without my support system who encouraged me to try it further. I kind of owe them my current life quality. I think my life quality is on average still pretty bad but I have in some aspects made clear progess which I am very happy about. I am not happy (about my life) though. But relatively speaking the approach to make the best out of it increased my life quality.
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