Maybe its a good bye thread or not

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

i felt like i should write my last note right now bcz i wouldn't be able to write it when I'm about to ctb (which is today by the time i post it).
My beliefs and values are very different from the life I am compelled to live . This is the major conflict and i m better dead than living like this. There is no person who has to get treated (spiritually) like me to atleast breathe for a day or two and no one even believes me.
After hearing failure stories directly from survivors from sn and being unsure about my sn quality having family around (being found) there is a 20% chance of success of this attempt as i have only 1-2 hours but comparing to the pain im already in i am ready to take this risk.
I have given and loved this girl immensely. I have tried everything in my power to heal her. During the tedious process I learnt that most of the emotions and traumas she face arent real and she only felt so greatly about them because of her depression caused by her condition. It was a long ride n im glad that I have learnt things about this girl. I dont hate her i dont hate her family she just had weird circumstances and her body isnt able to tolerate this much pain anymore. The body is enduring more than it should have and it would have given up along time ago if it werent for her own efforts to keep herself alive.
I feel sorry for my parents. I love u mama baba n lil bro. It might not be your fault at the end.
This place has literally given and helped me more than i have imagined. You guys helped me when i had breakup and was going through the worst experience of my life so far. I am especially grateful for the recovery server coz you guys helped me pass my days. Dune, freeme, al_stargate, sorrow, eryu,smile,rainwillneverstop, twentysix, sir psycholo, jane , jotamara, lavender, anxieyote , andromeda, namida, destiny, toasterbath, kaze,dot, Himalayan, misty, existharm, aery, time2fly47, imstoopid, ashclouds,fadid,sadsadinfp and other ones if im missing anyone here. You made it possible for me to survive my toughest of the days in the start. u guys have contributed alot to my days and all of you are really precious. Wish i cud meet you guys in a lifetime where I dont have to deal with shit like this and i really wish to meet some of u irl.
Especially Rainy and twnty6 i love you guys so much. Thanks for being by my side

 

[cali22♡]

We love you

 

[Winterreise]

Please come back

 

[rainwillneverstop]

I don't believe it yet.

i love you am.

goodbye.

 

[rozeske]

I hope it was peaceful, Rest in ethernal peace sweet soul 🕊🕊🕊

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find the peace you are searching for! Goodbye!

 

[lixt]

Dear friend,
I hope your attempt goes as you expect. I wish you good luck. Goodbye.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

You will be greatly missed amnesia. Still refusing to believe you could be actually gone, and hoping you'll pop up again out of nowhere. In the worst case scenario I wish you're at peace now

 

[AshClouds]

It hurts so much to see you go. I really hope you come back to us, I miss you so much

 

[carac]

I can't believe I am just seeing this now! I going to miss your "keks". You were so brave and put up with so much (including me), hoping this is not a goodbye thread

 

[Tears in Rain]

R.I.P.

 

[Twntysvn]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I MISSED THIS

 

[_smile_]

No one has heard from you.
You were hurting and struggling so much. Everyday was a battle.

I know how desperately you wanted out.

I hope wherever you are, you are no longer suffering. That your brain fog is gone, your physical pain relinquished and you're reunited with Bageera. I know how much joy she brought you and how much torment you endured from her passing.

I'm grateful for our friendship and I am going to miss you so much..


I love you always Amnie

 

[Abyssal]

This one hits home. I miss you.

 

[MiMif]

I really hope you found peace

 

[Valky]

Hi Amnie,
first of all, I am incredibly sorry for only seeing this now. I wish I had known how bad it was going for you. Thank you for the great times in the recovery server, it was always amazing to have you around. It wasn't hard to tell that you were truly suffering, physically and mentally. You were such a beautiful girl, on the inside and outside. I am sorry about your kitty, I wish I had known to comfort you. I hope your family will be okay…I hope you are okay now. I am so sorry. We won't ever forget you

 

[DesperateOne]

Hi Amnie,
first of all, I am incredibly sorry for only seeing this now. I wish I had known how bad it was going for you. Thank you for the great times in the recovery server, it was always amazing to have you around. It wasn't hard to tell that you were truly suffering, physically and mentally. You were such a beautiful girl, on the inside and outside. I am sorry about your kitty, I wish I had known to comfort you. I hope your family will be okay…I hope you are okay now. I am so sorry. We won't ever forget you

Why do people post paragraphs like these? I'm genuinely curious... The person in question is gone and she can't hear any of it. Is it just for themselves so they can cope easier?

 

[Valky]

Why do people post paragraphs like these? I'm genuinely curious... The person in question is gone and she can't hear any of it. Is it just for themselves so they can cope easier?

Can you not ask something like that? That is very insensitive.

Yes, it helps to cope and it just feels like I owe her at least one last text under a message like that, which she posted herself. It is kinda like her own memorial page now. People write stuff to passed loved ones too. There are often books or memorial sites for that stuff, it is not unusual or uncommon.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Why do people post paragraphs like these? I'm genuinely curious... The person in question is gone and she can't hear any of it. Is it just for themselves so they can cope easier?

Or to remember them. Or to cope. Or out of regret.... whatever it is, they felt the need to. A bit more sensitivity please

 

[DesperateOne]

Can you not ask something like that? That is very insensitive.

Yes, it helps to cope and it just feels like I owe her at least one last text under a message like that, which she posted herself. It is kinda like her own memorial page now. People write stuff to passed loved ones too. There are often books or memorial sites for that stuff, it is not unusual or uncommon.

Apologies, I was just genuinely curious. I've spent for the better part of my life alone/in isolation, so my "read the room" skills are practically non existant. If I sometimes say insensitive stuff like this, know that it is not coming from a place of evil.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

Apologies, I was just genuinely curious. I've spent for the better part of my life alone/in isolation, so my "read the room" skills are practically non existant. If I sometimes say insensitive stuff like this, know that it is not coming from a place of evil.

It's okay we all make mistakes, most of us are not in good headspaces if we are on here and have struggles.

Ik you meant no ill intent, but for me I find myself sometimes snapping at people online, not like a troll being an ahole for the sake of it, but I find my tolerance for stuff less and less the more i suffer & im sure I've pissed people off (I just never go back to see replies

 

[Valky]

I

Apologies, I was just genuinely curious. I've spent for the better part of my life alone/in isolation, so my "read the room" skills are practically non existant. If I sometimes say insensitive stuff like this, know that it is not coming from a place of evil.

I understand, thank you for clarifying, no offence taken :) hope my answer could help bring a better understanding!!