(Maybe) goodbye thread

[Don’tDoxMe]

Currently drinking, and have rope set up for partial next to me. I cannot fucking stand the taste of alcohol, but having it with flat Pepsi Zero and lots of ice is really helping. Honestly, things are actually starting to look up a little for me overall and I feel like this is super illogical because of that, but something happened today that's kind of pushed me over the edge along with always struggling with suicidal thoughts when evening arrives during the summer due to flashbacks. I'm not really calling this a CTB thread because all my previous attempts at hanging have failed and I don't see why this one wouldn't either. Maybe the addition of alcohol will do it. I'd *probably* be able to get a shotgun later this next week, but things suck *now* and I just wanna gtfo. If I haven't responded by like, 24 hours after posting this, I guess you can just assume I'm dead or brain damaged. I wish I could discuss this process with my actual friends, but I'm not upset that they wouldn't want to casually talk as their own friend works up to killing themself.
I kind of want to watch Hazbin hotel before I try, but ime doing something before an attempt that encourages an attachment to this world results in increased SI
Also I am definitely getting tipsy at least, so sorry for any drunk weirdness

Currently drinking, and have rope set up for partial next to me. I cannot fucking stand the taste of alcohol, but having it with flat Pepsi Zero and lots of ice is really helping. Honestly, things are actually starting to look up a little for me overall and I feel like this is super illogical because of that, but something happened today that's kind of pushed me over the edge along with always struggling with suicidal thoughts when evening arrives during the summer due to flashbacks. I'm not really calling this a CTB thread because all my previous attempts at hanging have failed and I don't see why this one wouldn't either. Maybe the addition of alcohol will do it. I'd *probably* be able to get a shotgun later this next week, but things suck *now* and I just wanna gtfo. If I haven't responded by like, 24 hours after posting this, I guess you can just assume I'm dead or brain damaged. I wish I could discuss this process with my actual friends, but I'm not upset that they wouldn't want to casually talk as their own friend works up to killing themself.
I kind of want to watch Hazbin hotel before I try, but ime doing something before an attempt that encourages an attachment to this world results in increased SI
Also I am definitely getting tipsy at least, so sorry for any drunk weirdness

Gonna go to the bathroom then take a test run