Many people (normies) are so damn superficial

[noname223]

I am not sure if there is a difference between normies and us concerning being superficial. But people who severly suffer often have to reflect on it. Especially when they contemplate to commit suicide which has quite a philosophical component.
Recently I was in a group of people who were around my age. All they talked about was how fuckable this or that celebrity is. (Especially the women were interested in that topic. Though I don't want to imply that this would count for all women. I am not sure whether there is a gender difference concerning this issue. I rather think not.)

I think compared to normies around my age we have diametricall life experiences. I suffered so much the abuse, the violence, severe suicidality, the bullying and all that shit. They have a way different life than me. I have to be extremely disciplined in order to stay somewhat stable. If I went 2 hours too late to sleep this could have very bad influence on my health but this only one example.

I don't have the feeling I belong to this people. Moreover I felt really bad because especially the women were so superficial. I think this is very likely only a coincidence but I have met some really extremely superficial women there. (Of course there are also men who are very superficial. This is important for me to emphasize.) It feels so bad for me because I have the strong desire for a girlfriend. I lost almost all hope to find one. But when I hear how these women talk I rather think I have to protect myself from approaching them when this is their standards. I am a very vulnerable and fragile person. My outer appearance is normal or only a little bit better than the average. But my mind is extremely fucked. I would need a partner with much empathy who cares about the inner values of a person. And tbh I think it is extremely unlikely to find such a person for me. When I consider to approach a girl it is very important for me that she is understanding and empathetic. This is one of my main concerns. Maybe someone who also struggles with health.

I have the feeling so many people in this society want to be like instagram or Youtube influencer. Many have sports player as role models. All they care about is outer appearance, consuming products, sex, shallow entertainment, doing drugs and parties. I also like some things on this list. But for me it feels like this is the only thing they care about. They find some sort of meaning in all of this. I find more meaning in philosophical or metaphysical reflections. I know this sounds very snobby. But one if these reflections is whether or not commiting suicide. For me it is an existential necessity to reflect about me, my mind and my feelings. Otherwise I get very unstable in a very short time. If I am not careful I turn very fast psychotic or manic. Furthermore I feel so soulless without all these thoughts.

Reading and writing in this forum really gives me strength to carry on. Sharing my inner feelings and reading someone elses thoughts makes me feel less lonely. I have the feeling sometimes to be in someone elses mind when reading his/her intimate thoughts. This can be comforting as well as sometimes frightening because I see myself in them.

Btw this does not mean every normie is superficial and that everyone who suffers is deep. But having existential soorows and dealing with a shitty hand in life can be thought provoking.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Most people are in it for themselves. How this plays out varies based on their culture and life experience , those things will determine what they want.

Stories abound in the media of people who had longtime partners and then the partners instantly abandon after a financial loss or something like one partner gets in bad medical trouble and becomes too inconvenient.

A lot of Americans I think of younger generations have trouble with this because they were raised on Disney movies. Based on my life experience I know similar wishful thinking entertainment media exist in other nations as well. That's just not how any of this works

It's sad but it's life. And don't ever let anyone gas light you into thinking it actually is like Disney or possibly could be

 

[Snake of Eden]

I think some suffering can cause the emotional and psychological reality to be disturbed by shuffling and shaking its components to widen its horizon and to allow for more depth. This widening of inner horizon balances itself out with by reconciling with outer reality through deeper perceptions and it shows in thinking and behaviors. This is an example of how personal growth happens but imposed suffering isnt necessarily essential for personal growth imo but one of the avenues towards it. Suffering does not always result in personal growth neither if it is met with alot of resistance. Also some people are unable or consciously none-desiring for growth hence some people who suffer can still be superficial assholes

 

[noname223]

I think some suffering can cause the emotional and psychological reality to be disturbed by shuffling and shaking its components to widen its horizon and to allow for more depth. This widening of inner horizon balances itself out with the outer reality by widening the scope of perceptions and behaviors of outer reality deeper aspects. This is an example of how personal growth happens but imposed suffering isnt necessarily essential for personal growth imo but one of the avenues towards it. Suffering does not always result in personal growth neither if it is met with alot of resistance. Also some people are unable or consciously none-desiring for growth hence some people who suffer can still be superficial assholes

I absolutely agree to this. Not everyone who suffers isn't superficial. But as you said having an existential crisis can evoke deeper thoughts.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

I don't relate to most neurotypicals either because of my traumatic childhood. The only things I ever wanted were my health and to not be alone but the average person seems like they're constantly trying to climb over one another for money or to use each other like inanimate objects. I don't like humanity and I don't like how the world works but there's realistically nothing I can do about those things except put an end to my misery.

The world revolves around money, looks, and being able to stand on your own two feet; not fitting into that category of normalcy generally means that you're unheard and abandoned.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I don't relate to most neurotypicals either because of my traumatic childhood. The only things I ever wanted were my health and to not be alone but the average person seems like they're constantly trying to climb over one another for money or to use each other like inanimate objects. I don't like humanity and I don't like how the world works but there's realistically nothing I can do about those things except put an end to my misery.

The world revolves around money, looks, and being able to stand on your own two feet; not fitting into that category of normalcy generally means that you're unheard and abandoned.

The model of monogamous relationship and marriage and family that has existed in various forms is now a dead man walking. Reality proves it with the birth rates cratering everywhere .

 

[whatevs]

Yeah, it sounds cliché, but at the end of the day suicidal or depressed people tend to be "deeper" and more sensitive than those that laugh without a concern inside such a horrible, false, increasingly ruthless environment.

Nowadays they don't kill you in wars, but we are being soft killed, physically and spiritually. The psychological health in "developed" countries is only set to keep plummeting as people refuse to acknowledge that we are governed by monsters that lie to us every single day, largely because they themselves are scum.

 

[Worndown]

People being superficial is a problem afflicting all of humanity. Those here seem to legitimately care. On the outside, these problems overload people and you will get the least helpful comments as they hope you stop talking about this.

 

[waitingforrest]

I feel like the ignorance is bliss saying applies to normies. The ones I have met have never given a thought about what their actions do to others, all the ones I've met are focused on their future only. Maybe I'm just being cynical again.

Normies don't seem to realize that other people's lives can just get worse, that lucky breaks don't happen to everyone. That it is not easy to like yourself if people still treat you like trash. They embrace everyone as being special, but berate anyone for mentioning anything different. The amount of virtue signaling and savior complexes makes me wonder if they really care, but just don't care enough to actually do something.

I wonder if all the normies are in some joke that I do not understand. I don't understand how they can see life as enjoyable or worth it. The continuing existence of humanity is detrimental to the planet, reproducing only to die in the end. Maybe they are deluding themselves, but I will never know.

There is a rift between me and normies, I don't understand them and they don't understand me. All they seem to see in me is a depressed lazy person and never look past that.

Of course, this is my experience with the normies I met. If normies enjoy their life, that's great for them. I just wish they wouldn't impose their views on my life.

 

[Ligottian]

I have no doubt much of my "social anxiety" is really due to the fact I can find no one in IRL that shares my interests. History, philosophy, literature, music, etc. People only discuss the most shallow bs. Which is why I so dread family gatherings and always leave them depressed and exhausted. On those rare occasions when I find someone who shares my interests, my anxiety can largely fade away for a while.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I grew up in a culture where it was essential to put on appearences. Everyone wants nothing more than to present themselves as normal, well behaved, successful, traditional, athletic, religious, and family oriented.

The pressure you're ensconced in if you can't fulfill these criteria is massive. One of my family members, who is unironically schizophrenic, said that not believing in God is a mental illness and believed people of other faiths or no faith at all to be an entirely different species.

Being autistic, I could never pass as normal. I had weird interests that other children didn't, like video games, anime, book series that were viewed as "nerdy and strange" and so on and so forth. I was terrible at sports because I was dyspraxic, and no team would let me play, which isolated me from the primary means of socialisation in my hometown.

The amount of disgust others held towards me was massive. At my school, athletes could miss as many days as they wanted to attend traveling leagues. When I was continously sick and struggling, I was punished massively for being "lazy" and refusing to come to school, when I was consistently bullied by staff and peers alike, and was getting infections one after the other.

Throughout my life, it was made clear to me that I was a defective product. The family member I mentioned constantly wasted her money on "sexy" clothes for me as a teenager and threw a hissy fit when I wouldn't wear them or put on makeup. I was begged over and over again to just try out for sports. My interests were snubbed as stupid and no one ever supported me in any endeavours I had.

A couple of times, I had the privlede to go to cosplay conventions. Of course, it was always hung over my head that I should have been so grateful that my "weird shit" was indulged. When I'd make clothes, or draw, my efforts would be laughed at. My family jokingly paraded around photos of me to people they knew in order to mock and take the piss out of my cosplaying. When my aunt found out I was bisexual, she constantly used it as blackmail so that I could be branded as even more a loser in the eyes of onlookers.

When I couldn't cope with illness, loss, and constantly being treated like subhuman for having disabilities, unconventional interests, sense of style, etc, I was always told it was part of God's plan and I needed to have more faith. Nothing but thoughts, prayers, and freaked out stares.

Not being able to pass as normal has always made my life a living hell. Even when I became chronically ill, I was told my thought processes and reactions to this state of being were abnormal. "Normal people" cope and get on with it, was what I was told over and over again. My partner's grandmother boasted that she and her daughter got on with life and didn't moan all the time despite having cancer, so my partner should stop caring for me as much as he did.

It's always assumed you have these perfect family structures, talents, and pillars of support upholding you in every aspect of life and if you can't run the normie.exe you clearly made bad choices and choose to be outcast. It couldn't be that my "normal" family was abusive and punished me at every turn for not being the poster child doll that they wanted.

My mother literally handed me off at birth and my father died early on my childhood, yet I am told by "normal functioning members of society" that it's my responsibility to stop yearning for familial connections and accept that my emotions surrounding this are a product of a mental dysfunction rather than an unstable home environment.

At every turn, I'm repeatedly told to just fit in, just be normal, when it's physically impossible for me to as an autistic woman who has been snubbed for 22 years now. I've found out in life, that there is some leeway given to people who are otherwise normal, but are enduring a temporary rough patch for the time being. If you've always been on the outskirts of society, there is little empathy for you.

 

[raghu1977]

I grew up in India. Parental and societal pressure to succeed were immense!
And yes - you had to project a front that life was awesome and you were happy!

Don't fit in? You get treated like shit by everyone.

So yeah - f@*k normal.

 

[FinalPeace]

I think most people that grow up in traumatic or abusive environments, and those that have atypical brain-wiring become different people other than who they were designed to be. I have always had a problem with superficiality however the handful of non-superficial friends I had growing up had no problem, or maybe less of a problem with it. Though they complained about it occasionally, they were able to tolerate it way more than I was because they didn't have the social needs and deficits that I had. Once a person has significantly diverged from societal norms they tend to have more unique experiences in the world that reflect and reinforce those differences. It then becomes a horrible feedback loop where one does not feel as if he/she can fit in or even be accepted as a divergent individual.

I also think that people who don't have the problems that we have, see normal as a much narrower spectrum based on superficial criteria. We obviously see normal as a much broader and inclusive spectrum based on who we are. Those people tend to have difficulty relating to us and likewise us with them. As people like us get older we start to key in and stack up loads of negative feedback from our interactions therefore becoming hypersensitive to it, rightfully so. Normal people get the same feedback, however, they are accustomed to shaking off the negative experiences because they have enough positive experiences across their lives to balance things out.