Manic depression

[TheGoodGuy]

So for no apparent reason the last few days I have felt so extremely manic I haven´t been able to sleep all night I also have aspergers so I need a steady routine otherwise I get stressed out to put it mildly.


I found this on a google search and so many of these fit on how I have been feeling for the last days I can´t sleep at night at all only later in the day after taking some Diazepam, I have an extreme amount of energy (almost speedy) I feel weird confused thoughts I don´t know if that count as psychosis and I also feel the paranoid rage on and off mostly off but it is there.

I am pretty sure I will kill myself soon I thought I would have done it today but slept the day away after taking some diazepam I usually use 2.5mg two times a day but I end up taking first 2.5mg then a couple hours later 5mg then some hours later again 10mg and it didn´t seem to work much at all where if I a week ago would have taken 5mg I would definitely feel calm and my heart would slow down but this time the benzos didn´t seem to work. I initially wanted to wait to ctb until I had tapered off benzos but there is really no reason to wait since there are no goal in the future and I throughly wrote that down on a paper weeks ago when I was more calm and collected so I might as well just end this suffering since everything only gets worse year by year.

 

[Girobatol]

Only benzos won´t do it for bipolar insomnia. You need a benzo plus a sedating antipsychotic like quetiapine or olanzapine. I have bipolar too and thats the reason I want to ctb.

 

[Nem]

Bipolar and the meds involved sucks ass, the only cure is ctb as far as I'm concerned (from my own experience)
Peace/hugs

 

[Squiddy]

Bipolar is one reason I want to ctb.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Only benzos won´t do it for bipolar insomnia. You need a benzo plus a sedating antipsychotic like quetiapine or olanzapine. I have bipolar too and thats the reason I want to ctb.

Bipolar and the meds involved sucks ass, the only cure is ctb as far as I'm concerned (from my own experience)
Peace/hugs❤

Bipolar is one reason I want to ctb.

I actually haven´t been diagnosed with bipolar since I won´t open up fully so I have only been diagnosed with aspergers. I am very certain I will ctb tomorrow or at least this weak I was originally on a taper off benzos but now I have taken higher doses the last two days just to make this horrible manic feeling a bit more tolerable.

I actually just came back from some grocery shopping since I want some cereal with milk while watching a childhood program like when I was a child and some Danonino yoghurt I can´t usually eat that stuff since as an adult I am allergic to milk (another thing that was better in the past no allergies). I am not counting on getting much sleep tonight if any so I will just as good as I can to enjoy myself with these childhood treats among some candy I have too and probably pop half a clonazepam (klonopin) to see if it can make me feel calm and then I will indulge in some nostalgia and hopefully in the morning I will take the bus out to my childhood town and ctb at a special location I planned to have done it today because it was so beautiful weather but couldn´t fall asleep and I wanted to be more clear minded so assuming I won´t be able to fall asleep tonight again then fuck it I will just ctb a bit sleep deprived not as I originally wanted it I had a whole day planned out to enjoy as my last good day but it all ends in death anyways so objectively anything that happens before won´t really matter.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I think I'm bipolar/manically depressed as I only post on social media during depressive episodes
Been bed ridden for nearly 15 years but still able to work