Discussion Maladaptive Daydreaming/OCD tendencies

[Sockeye Salmon]

Hi. I've had this since I was a kid and I've just realized that is a problem recently and I feel like sharing it to see if anyone else has this. I'll try my best to explain this even though it's very difficult for me to put this into words.

Basically, my mind will very easily wander off and start having what-if fantasies, and coming up with fictional stories which involve me and the people around me at the time. Like during middle school, the fantasies that I would have would be about me and my friends and classmates. Stories such as what if I hooked up with this girl, itself can wander off to dramatic adventures or cute stuff that might happen. Other stories can be what if I beat up my bully, or what if my bully happens to go crazy and humiliate himself, and stuff like that. It feels way too detailed for what are basically throwaway fantasies and thoughts but my mind can't help but drift off to these daydreams and fantasies. Same things happen in high school and college with the what-if's adapting to whatever is going on at the time of my life (like I don't have bullies in college so I don't have thoughts about stuff like that). This is the first type of these fantasies. Things that don't stray too far from the reality of things. Worst thing is, I still have these daydreams about the stuff from school now, even if it's been a long time since school and there's a lot that I haven't gotten over even for stuff a decade later.

Now the second type of these thoughts/daydreams are different. It's influenced by the media that I consume, such as movies, comics, anime, and video games. My mind will often, and easily wander off and put myself and others in stories inspired by the movies/games and placing myself and others in roles of characters that would be the most appropriate. Me as a main character (or any character that I relate with), my friends as other characters, and/or people I hate as the villains. Let's take Red Dead Redemption II as an example, a story about Arthur and his fellow outlaws. I would put myself in the character of Arthur and my friends as the rest of the gang. Say I have a friend who not everyone likes and/or is troublesome that reminds me of a similar character in the game, then I would put him in the shoes of that character. Or let's say that I have classmates in school that keep bothering me, then I would put those people in the roles of the lawmen that keeps hunting the gang. Then I start drifting off with these daydreams.

Let's take another example, WandaVision. A story about Wanda creating a fake reality to escape her depression, something that I kinda relate to and would see myself doing should I have her powers. I would put myself in the shoes of Wanda (even though I'm a guy) and the other characters based on the people that I know depending on the time of my life I'm basing the story on. The stories that I have isn't really 1-1 to the things that I'm inspired by but it's close and it adapts to the things that are going on around me so I guess the role of Vision would be taken by a girl that I like, if that makes any sense, I guess. Yeah, I know it sounds weird. It's difficult for me to type this seeing how weird and cringy it sounds but I'm writing it in a way that is both easy for me to put into words and easy for others to understand, and what I can think of at the moment. To be honest the story that I make daydreams of doesn't need to be relatable or have any similarities to whatever is happening in my life now, as long as it's a cool or good story, my mind will find a way to create daydreams of. I've had stories from James Bond, Attack on Titan, Half-Life, Matrix, or whatever media I consume.

Another thing that I notice is that when I have these daydreams, I would often get the sudden urge to just move. Let's say if I'm sitting down and have these thoughts, I would feel the urge and pressure to simply get up and walk around for a bit, or if I'm in bed, then I would start rolling around or just shake like I have a seizure in order to clear that urge. Hearing music (especially soundtracks for the movies/games) also triggers this somewhat. I think because it gives background music to the daydreams and fantasies that I'm picturing.

Sounds cringe? Yeah. I cringe every time I have these thoughts as well, but I can't help it. My mind is easily prone to wandering off and fantasizing about this, as much as I don't want them to. Middle school was almost a decade ago and yet I still have what-if fantasies about that time of my life to this day and it's just as clear today as it was when I was still in middle school. I'd argue that it's even worse today because I have new inspirations and make stories based on them and adapting it to the previous times of my life as well. Same thing with high school and other times.

This is also the reason why it's been hard for me to watch new stuff, like watching new anime, getting into a new series, games, or any sort of fandom, because I know that my mind will start wandering off and making up stories based on those as well, and as a result I just stick to the films/games/comics that I already know, and it makes me feel somewhat uncultured because I don't know much stuff. In fact, the reason I wanted to talk about this again was because I started watching something new recently and my mind started going fucking crazy, already trying to put myself and others in the shoes of the characters as I watch. I don't fucking want it to happen because it hinders my enjoyment of the media I'm consuming at the time but I can't stop it. It's obsessive and intrusive. So I usually just play games I've already played over and over or re-watch movies and anime I already had since I'm afraid watching new stuff will just fuel up these intrusive daydreams.

I just want these fantasies and thoughts to stop obsessively and intrusively popping on my mind. They do nothing, they make me feel unoriginal and makes it difficult for me to make up new ideas, make me sort of delusional and just push me away from reality. It's cringy as hell but my mind can't help but trigger it. I don't know what to do to make it stop. The only good thing that I guess I can have from this is that I probably have a strong picture/memory (though that is debatable since I have no one to reference it to)

I guess having these daydreams and having a lot of them also a reason why I want to CTB. Because a part of me believes that once I die, I get put into an endless lucid dream state where I can make up whatever I want and make it real. I can make myself feel happy, eat whatever I want, put myself in whatever scenario I desire, and so on. I can't help but hold on to this. I know it may not be true but it's one of the biggest reasons why I want to go, even though it's entirely made up by me and admittedly it sounds pretty stupid. I'm obsessed with the thought of this.

I wonder if anyone else has something like this. Please tell me about it and tell me if it bothers you like it does me and the things that you do to help it. To be honest I'm having second thoughts about making this thread or whether I should just put it as a post in another thread, seeing how embarrassing it was to write and read through but I'm not sure what to do anymore and I'm not sure how people will react. I might just snip this soon if it turns in a way I don't want to.

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

I also have this! Though I'm an artist/writer so I channel these into my works. I start daydreaming less if I have chores/hobbies to do. But when my mind is idle, I just walk around my room with earphones on and daydreaming. I dont mind because it gets me walking.

Maybe it would help to write them down for you? It can help offload the daydreaming material. And every second you spend writing is a second not spent on daydreaming.

 

[Sanva]

It's not embarassing. I daydream a lot too, since I was a little kid. For me, it's really the only way I can feel happy. I think that's why it comes up so often for me. There's nothing going on in my actual life so my mind just makes up shit. For me, it gets triggered by listening to music and exercising which is why i sometimes avoid those things. The daydreams themselves are pleasant, but I often feel pathetic when I snap back to reality and realize none of it will ever actually happen.
It sucks because it usually feels just impossible to stop. Like stopping the daydream would take an immense amount of energy which I simply don't have.

what helped me in the past was to kind of twist the daydreams into something productive. I used to write a lot, so instead of daydreaming about myself and things i wanted in my real life, I started "daydreaming" about my characters and their stories. It does also take work. But it felt a lot better for me. And then, once I wrote those things down, I was able to let them go and stop daydreaming about them. I've heard that this can help in general, just writing down your daydreams.

anyway, I'm sorry for what you're going through because I know it can be distressing. I hope you can feel better.

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

It's not embarassing. I daydream a lot too, since I was a little kid. For me, it's really the only way I can feel happy. I think that's why it comes up so often for me. There's nothing going on in my actual life so my mind just makes up shit.

Hey, same situation! My parents were strict + not a lot of money, so I didnt have much going on during my childhood. So daydreaming it is

 

[creaturecomforts]

Yes! I have something very similar to what you're describing. Fixating way too hard on certain media, daydreaming excessively about it and connecting my ideas about myself to fictional characters, and having to get up and move around to music in order to trigger daydreams. I've been doing this since I was a kid and I always thought there was something wrong with me. Since then, I've met some more people who do the same thing. So don't worry, you aren't totally alone in this! There are definitely more of us out there than you might think :) I actually considered myself to be a maladaptive daydreamer when I was a teenager but since then I've come to realize that it isn't exactly maladaptive to me. I'm an artist, so I have a tendency to use my daydreams to fuel my ideas. Even if the ideas might seem derivative since they often spring out of existing media, it can still be a fun exercise at the very least.

I think its a sign of a very strong imagination, coupled with some loneliness and boredom, but if it is causing you stress, I hope you can find a way to fix the issue. I don't know if you're the artistic type, but maybe you could try drawing or writing about your daydreams? It might help you feel like you're getting something productive out of it, at least.