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shatteredspine

shatteredspine

π™Žπ˜Ύπ™π™€π™’π™€π˜Ώ 𝕓π•ͺ π”½π•’π•šπ•π•–π•• 𝔸π•₯π•₯π•–π•žπ•‘π•₯
Feb 9, 2024
20
Hey everybody!

I hope that you've been having a good day today ❀️

To be clear, this is not meant to motivate anyone to take their life. Please do not misconstrue my intentions. This is solely meant for those who have settled on their intentions and are unwavering in them.... πŸ›‘πŸ›‘βš οΈβš οΈ

I am pretty sure that I'll be gone in the coming weeks and I've been having a lot of thoughts about the impact I'm going to have. I know I'm going to hurt people and a huge part of me is quite bothered by the negative effect it will have on my loved ones and the lack of an impact it will take on the outside world.... a younger version of myself was quite driven by making change and having a positive impact on the world.

I am sure that you all have an opinion about an issue happening in the world, that is near and dear to your heart. Whether it be the lack of mental health supports, the homelessness crisis, one of the many 'wars' taking place... There is certainly no shortage of tragedies taking place right now. I have been boycotting, trying to raise awareness, doing whatever I can to contribute to these issues for sometime. My thoughts are plagued by all the misfortunes and atrocities taking place in the world right now.

Last night while I was scrolling through Tiktok it occurred to me... You see thousands of people trying to tell their story and only a small number are seen or taken seriously. Unfortunately, it seems that someone has to die for them to be taken seriously.

Here are my thoughts....

I have seen so many grief stricken people directing their anger and hurt towards the people they lost instead of the systems that put them there... It feels to me as if everytime one of us goes in silence, we're missing an opportunity to finally make our voice heard. How many times have you screamed into the abyss for someone to listen, only to be met with silence?

I am thinking of drafting a letter and possibly a video to my local newspaper and political representatives describing how the chronically underfunded healthcare system and mental health services lead me to experience such a sense of helplessness that it brought me to take my life. I want to highlight that it was the governmental failures that brought me to this and not anything my loved ones have done. The streets are riddled with the mentally ill, who've been forgotten about and tossed aside while our hard earned money contributes to war crimes. I feel helpless to all of it.


I feel as if this leaves several opportunities outside of simply raising awareness to the issue, as a matter of fact...
  • To inspire a sense of action/ charity in those you left behind, giving them a sense of purpose
  • Allows your loved ones to direct their anger, sadness and grief toward them, rather than directing those feelings inwards or holding them against you... I believe it may give them a sense of peace
  • You could possibly drive some real change, make a real impact and/or leave your loved ones the ability to be proud of some aspect of the actions you took
  • If you forward your video/message to a peer to post for you, who may be struggling financially in an email scheduled to send after you have passed so that they aren't implicated in your death, they could possibly profit from the views it generates.
Hey! Who knows!? You could potentially change/save somes life via those funds or the impact that video makes.
Personally, I believe it will provide me the peace, knowing that regardless of the impact I make, that I tried to do something good with my exit. We all have our own feelings and reasons for what we want to do, so this may not be for everyone. I just figured that since I have finally found this community, that I could toss around ideas with some like-minded folks. I'm sorry if I come off narcissistic or insensitive, I hope I haven't offended or upset anyone with my post.
 

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