Discussion Main reason for staying alive. Poll

[BlockHammer]

If im being honest, i still want to try something else like programming. And wait for a new game/manga to came up, but i do feel like that hope of having a life worth living is starting to fade away, im gonna construct my plan around january, but to actually ctb....i still don't know when is the right time

 

[currantcranberry]

a big part of it is definitely fear of death/what comes after. im not religious so the idea that once its done and over with, thats that, is a little overwhelming. im also nervous of attempting/failing an attempt, while i have a very easy method available via firearm, it belongs to a family member, and im not sure how theyd react knowing id died from their weapon.

 

[RottenApple17]

If Nembutal was accesible I'd been gone long ago

 

[Pluto]

 

[scottchy]

I feel it's a combination of options
Yes, I do feel a slight glimmer that things might get better. I mean people do win lotteries or luck out somehow.
Maybe it will happen to me also.

But I'm deathly afraid of the impact that It will have on the two people in my life. I know deep down that my mom would not be able to handle it and would most likely die from grief. IF somehow I survived, that would not be something I could live with

 

[enditplz]

Only thing holding me back is having a 100% reliable method that involves no pain. If there existed a single pill I could take that would let me die in my sleep, I'd take it in a heartbeat.