Method Made up my mind.

[DeprivedofLife666]

Definitely offing myself by overdosing on pain killers. I just can't take this prison I'm in any longer. I'm going to prepare my suicide note telling my grandparents why I had to kill myself. I'm sure they'll still find some way to turn it around and make it look like they're victims but I honestly don't give a flying rat's ass anymore. I'm going to swallow a whole bag full of 500mg acetaminophen and let my liver get utterly destroyed and then just let it go untreated until it's too late and I hopefully die. I just don't care anymore. Just counting the days until that bag gets full. I can't just take the bottle with me because they WILL get suspicious and use it against me, so I have to secretly take some when they aren't looking. This is my only method, so please don't go posting that it won't work, I don't need that because I really want to die and I have been doing research on intentional acetaminophen overdose. At this point I'm just waiting.

TL;DR I'm killing myself because I'd rather be dead than have my life controlled by my POS Toxic grandparents. I never thought that they would intentionally deprive me from being an independent adult once I graduated high school.

 

[DrownFeather]

how much total mg you will swallow? I can't say don't, it's as you said your last method and i understand

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

I'm really not good at math so whatever many mg a sandwich bag will hold.

 

[DrownFeather]

If each pill is 500mg and you filled your little bag with that, might be 70 pill there or more and will be total of 30000+mg which is lethal in case you left it untreated till liver failure
But as you said last method, you will feel horrible pain for days

 

[CelestialGoddess]

Definitely offing myself by overdosing on pain killers. I just can't take this prison I'm in any longer. I'm going to prepare my suicide note telling my grandparents why I had to kill myself. I'm sure they'll still find some way to turn it around and make it look like they're victims but I honestly don't give a flying rat's ass anymore. I'm going to swallow a whole bag full of 500mg acetaminophen and let my liver get utterly destroyed and then just let it go untreated until it's too late and I hopefully die. I just don't care anymore. Just counting the days until that bag gets full. I can't just take the bottle with me because they WILL get suspicious and use it against me, so I have to secretly take some when they aren't looking. This is my only method, so please don't go posting that it won't work, I don't need that because I really want to die and I have been doing research on intentional acetaminophen overdose. At this point I'm just waiting.

TL;DR I'm killing myself because I'd rather be dead than have my life controlled by my POS Toxic grandparents. I never thought that they would intentionally deprive me from being an independent adult once I graduated high school.

Hey, please just hear me out. Acetaminophen is the absolute worst way to try and kill yourself. I took 7500 mg of acetaminophen in an attempt to commit suicide, and I ended up absorbing 95% of all of it, and then it got flushed out with sodium. When I was at my peak, of which you should hit that peak after a few hours, you will feel so weak and so shit. After an hour of the overdose, my survival instincts kicked in, and when you feel like you have lost control and recognize your mortality, you will instantly regret it. Then you will end up going to the ER and waste tons of money if you tell someone before the eight-hour mark. Realize that after you hit the 8-hour mark, your chances of being saved are gone and then you have to be alive and suffer for the next two days as your body shuts down (HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE!). If you are with your grandparents, you will not be able to hide this at all as well. It is so much suffering. I highly do not suggest it! You can't relax your way through it.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I argue with you from a humane perspective only: please do not use this method for sufferings sake. As another person here explained this is a bad process and I knew someone who went through it personally. The individual in question was in the hospital for days which prolonged the family suffering as well - doctors even had said they had hope for survival but they died anyway tormenting the family further

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

I know you guys are trying to help, but please understand I'm way beyond that point. I just want to go. I don't care about how horrible it is. I have no other methods to go and I plan to do this in the dead of night. I'm just done. And as for my grandparents suffering, I don't give a fuck, I had to suffer being deprived of my own freedom and happiness because they'd rather use me as an extra SSI paycheck instead of helping me to prepare for independence that my loser mom should have done. I've been suffering since 2011 and I can't fucking take having my life controlled by them anymore.

 

[DrownFeather]

I know you guys are trying to help, but please understand I'm way beyond that point. I just want to go. I don't care about how horrible it is. I have no other methods to go and I plan to do this in the dead of night. I'm just done.

Hmm you will be so sick and can't move for days, you can cover that from your grandparents?
Or they might find out and then get hospitalised and will have bigger problems

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

This is my only method. I don't care if I can't hide it anymore.
Please don't try to make me change my mind.

 

[DrownFeather]

Well, good luck and hope you get your peace soon

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

Thank you

 

[DrownFeather]

But as for pain, if you have sleep pills take it so you can sleep more to not feel pain

 

[Cathy Ames]

Realize that after you hit the 8-hour mark, your chances of being saved are gone and then you have to be alive and suffer for the next two days as your body shuts down (HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE!).

Unfortunately, this is not quite correct. After 8 hours without treatment, your chance of surviving WITHOUT DAMAGE is very likely gone. However, some people do manage to survive--but with damage to their liver and/or kidneys. And this whole thing can go on for much longer than two days before the end result is known. One account said weeks.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

If I had other, more discreet options, trust me I wouldn't be resorting to painkiller overdose. She has control over my SSI income. I'm not even allowed to have a credit card or a debit card despite the fact that I am 31. Which means I can't order anything online or buy anything I want from any store when I'm forced to go anywhere with her. This is really the worst kind of hell to live in.
I can't even hang myself in the basement because the bitch ALWAYS has to know what I'm doing.

 

[meetapple]

If I had other, more discreet options, trust me I wouldn't be resorting to painkiller overdose. She has control over my SSI income. I'm not even allowed to have a credit card or a debit card despite the fact that I am 31. Which means I can't order anything online or buy anything I want from any store when I'm forced to go anywhere with her. This is really the worst kind of hell to live in.
I can't even hang myself in the basement because the bitch ALWAYS has to know what I'm doing.

How could they have control when you are 31? Legally you're an adult.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

You don't know how manipulative this bitch is. She has power of attorney over me. And she'll do ANYTHING to make sure I can't get away from her.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Have you tried any of the other things that you thought of? Reporting the SSI fraud? Talking to a therapist to see if they can report the abuse? Investigating how it works in your state for "vulnerable adults"?

I am totally understanding your reasoning here and your situation. But I also really, REALLY want for you to understand what you are doing when you choose this. I would not wish to go through this type and amount of suffering at all but ESPECIALLY not without a guarantee of it working. And you don't have that here. If your life is horrible now, it is going to be orders of magnitude worse than this if you survive with bad kidney damage.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

She refuses to let me go to therapy. Look I don't want to have to keep repeating myself. Nothing is going to work in terms of getting away from her. Please understand that. I don't have any normal options available to me. I have NOTHING. I just want to die so I can stop suffering like this.
Other people might have those options but not me. There is honestly no hope for me anymore. No freedom, no friends, no happiness because of how controlling she is. She will do ANYTHING to make sure I stay dependent on her until I'm old and crippled. Since she was abused by her mom, she wants to be bitter and ruin my life because she didn't get to have one.

 

[Glowarm]

I'm sorry that you are hurting so much. I hope you find some peace.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

I'm sorry but any more attempts to tell me that this method will have consequences or what not will not be heeded. I don't care. Like I said before I'd rather have a painful death than suffer from her toxicity for years.

 

[Cathy Ames]

She refuses to let me go to therapy. Look I don't want to have to keep repeating myself. Nothing is going to work in terms of getting away from her. Please understand that. I don't have any normal options available to me. I have NOTHING. I just want to die so I can stop suffering like this.

I apologize. I overlooked the post where you said she refused to let you go to therapy. I didn't mean to make you repeat yourself.

I checked recently, and some US states do have robust protection for "vulnerable adults" or similar terms like "adult protective services," and I do know how to make a report in my state. There is a hotline and a web form, plus BY LAW there is a "duty to report." Without knowing where you live, I cannot advise further other than telling you to google "vulnerable adults" with quotes and the name of the state where you live. [No, I am not asking you to disclose any personal info here!!!!!] I think this bears investigation.

 

[nohopeleft69]

I am sorry for your suffering and your situation. I hope you achieve peace with as little pain as possible. Good luck and good night.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

Thanks. Though it may sound like I'm not interested in advice, in truth I've just completely given up at this point because I just honestly feel like it's never going to get better. I'm so fucked up I don't even think I could live on my own after everything she has crammed into my head. Even if I did manage to get out. I wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from ever contacting her. I know I'm just as much to blame for not listening to my other relatives. My gods they were so right about how vile she is. I should have listened.

 

[_Seeking]

I'm sorry that you never got to live your own life independently. May I ask how old they are? They can't live forever.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Thanks. Though it may sound like I'm not interested in advice, in truth I've just completely given up at this point because I just honestly feel like it's never going to get better. I'm so fucked up I don't even think I could live on my own after everything she has crammed into my head. Even if I did manage to get out. I wish I could go back in time and prevent myself from ever contacting her. I know I'm just as much to blame for not listening to my other relatives. My gods they were so right about how vile she is. I should have listened.

It's definitely not your fault. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You deserve to have a LIFE.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

Grandma is 68, Grandpa is 50something.

 

[Someone123]

This is my only method. I don't care if I can't hide it anymore.
Please don't try to make me change my mind.

I just want you to know that ctb by pills works less than 2% of the time in the u.s., and when it does work it is usually from powerful opioids. There are a lot of more effective methods- you can still choose to try this way, but just keep in mind what the results may be if it does not work, likely this will be hospitalization.

 

[DeprivedofLife666]

I'm willing to take that risk. If I do get hospitalized then I'll tell the doctor exactly what I have been saying here on why I wanted to die. I'm not sure how helpful they will be but at least they will know why I was so desperate to die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens. I'm sorry that you are in such an awful situation, it must be so unbearable.

 

[Red Scare]

I'm willing to take that risk. If I do get hospitalized then I'll tell the doctor exactly what I have been saying here on why I wanted to die. I'm not sure how helpful they will be but at least they will know why I was so desperate to die.

You realize you don't have to do that to go to a hospital, and tell them you feel suicidal, and why? They will help you. ?If your grandma tries to top you by calling the police, then you can tell the police you are suicidal, and why. They will help you.

Have you thought about contacting any of those relatives who told you she was manipulative, acne splaying that you need their help?

I really don't think you understand. You will be alive for several days in extreme agony, and you will almost certainly not be able to conceal that from your grandparents. There is no guarantee you will die, but there is a guarantee of kidney or liver damage.

Telling people you will not need them is pretty ignorant and naive. They are only trying to help.