luckytwice
lucky
- Jan 5, 2025
- 6
Hello, loves!
I'm so sorry if I'm not using this right. Still a new user, even as a long-time lurker.
My heart and soul had to go to sleep forever today. I always knew this would happen, and I'm so glad that she's no longer in pain, but I thought we had just a little bit longer, even just one more day. I can't bring myself to move from the spot she would sleep in all the time, and I haven't taken off the clothes I held her in when she finally drifted off. Part of me feels that I died with her in my arms, and even through I wish I never had to let her go, I'm so glad that the last thing she heard was my heart beating for her.
I've already made plans both to ensure that I CTB and that what money I have goes to funding some research on what led to this so that hopefully no one else has to go through a pain like this, so right now, I'm just getting over the usual biological jitters that come with something like living through your final day(s). I'm a little sad that I'll miss out on so many things in life, but I'm tired. I'm not "ready" to go (is anyone ever?), but I'm ready to rest, for good. I've always been scared, but this time is a little different.
Mostly, I'm full of love. For her, for the people I've met, for the places I've been, for the sights I've seen, for the experiences I've had. I may not have had the best life, but I'm grateful for the life I did have regardless. I'm grateful that I got to experience true love, and I even got to kiss once, which was so freakin' awesome!
Little baby me had no clue what was coming into their life fifteen years ago, and fifteen years later, I now know that I was blessed with the purest form of love anyone ever could've experienced.
Even though we're all strangers to one another, I wanted to say that I love you all. I'm not sure if reincarnation is real. Maybe I'll be the patterns of light dancing through the leaves of trees as clouds pass over, or a nice cool breeze on a pleasantly warm day, but this isn't a goodbye. Its just a really long-winded "See you again"!
Goodnight, SaSu. I love you.
Love,
Lucky
I'm so sorry if I'm not using this right. Still a new user, even as a long-time lurker.
My heart and soul had to go to sleep forever today. I always knew this would happen, and I'm so glad that she's no longer in pain, but I thought we had just a little bit longer, even just one more day. I can't bring myself to move from the spot she would sleep in all the time, and I haven't taken off the clothes I held her in when she finally drifted off. Part of me feels that I died with her in my arms, and even through I wish I never had to let her go, I'm so glad that the last thing she heard was my heart beating for her.
I've already made plans both to ensure that I CTB and that what money I have goes to funding some research on what led to this so that hopefully no one else has to go through a pain like this, so right now, I'm just getting over the usual biological jitters that come with something like living through your final day(s). I'm a little sad that I'll miss out on so many things in life, but I'm tired. I'm not "ready" to go (is anyone ever?), but I'm ready to rest, for good. I've always been scared, but this time is a little different.
Mostly, I'm full of love. For her, for the people I've met, for the places I've been, for the sights I've seen, for the experiences I've had. I may not have had the best life, but I'm grateful for the life I did have regardless. I'm grateful that I got to experience true love, and I even got to kiss once, which was so freakin' awesome!
Little baby me had no clue what was coming into their life fifteen years ago, and fifteen years later, I now know that I was blessed with the purest form of love anyone ever could've experienced.
Even though we're all strangers to one another, I wanted to say that I love you all. I'm not sure if reincarnation is real. Maybe I'll be the patterns of light dancing through the leaves of trees as clouds pass over, or a nice cool breeze on a pleasantly warm day, but this isn't a goodbye. Its just a really long-winded "See you again"!
Goodnight, SaSu. I love you.
Love,
Lucky