Venting Love-starved insanity

[LikeAPendulum]

I had a moment today that just made me fall into the love-starved insanity I was in from last year. I'm not going to get into too much details, but I had an opportunity to start something with someone but I didn't take it, cause I honestly don't know what to say. They train you to be many things in life; they train you to be a doctor, a lawyer, a repairman, a teacher, but they don't seem to effectively train you on the two most important things you'd in life: Parenting, and relationships.

My own mother still thinks I'm "too young" to be dating. (I'm 19, I can fight and kill and die for my country if I could.) She doesn't help when she constantly tells me how her co-workers' children end up in bad relationships. And it doesn't help when I see my roommates, even a fat one, bring in their dates to the dorm.

Thinking back to everything love-related that's happened in my life and how it went down the drain: My dad bailing out on us for women who are half his age, my mother chewing me out when she discovered my affair with a guy when I was 17, love seems to be a hopeless desire; I'm determined to finish off what I chickened out of 4 years ago.

Anyone else have their experiences with the pain of love?

 

[just_erika]

I have been lonely for a long time and only recently got back to the point of even considering dating again. By chance met someone and we hit it off and were mutually interested. The relationship started off strong and I really plunged myself into it. I wanted to make it work and put most of my time and energy into it. At first she reciprocated. we talked a lot about plans what to do and a bit about moving together at some point. but then quickly we hit a wall. she always needed space. I couldnt stay more than 2 nights, most of the time only 1. when she started having problems she didn't want my help and wanted to be alone. She alsways first turned to her friends who live hundreds kilomiters away for help. never confided in me. I just got to read her rants on social media/discord.
It really tore me apart. here I was thinking I had finally found someone. she even put these ideas of a life together into my head and then completely disregards me. most of our meetings turned into just cuddling and maybe sex but barely any talking. until the point I unfollowed everywhere and left her discord to get some space. after having a bit of distance and feeling better I could finally make the decision to end it.
But these thoughts of what could have been still linger
and I find myself gravitating constantly towards other toxic relationships

 

[JudasIscariot]

Love or its potentials are absolutely painful. Crushes are called crushes for a reason, I've been told, which isn't comforting. Maybe you can try again with this person you like, if it's possible? Sometimes it just helps to jump right in. But I understand how it is when you don't take a chance, how all these thoughts keep piling up. I find it ridiculous too that people without thoughtful parents end up rather lost without many hopes. I wish people would give more thought to such things or try to work on themselves before having kids. It's selfish. Parents are selfish. Sorry for your pain. I hope things work out for you. Love your profile picture by the way. Travis Bickle, great character, Taxi Driver is an astounding film.