Love mistaken as obsession

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

After i wasted 3 years now over a girl, crying every day since day one even when we become close friends just because i already know was impossible that she will love me back

I tryed to CTB for her, put in psych ward, love letter, even spend lot of money for her, lost every other people because i put her above anyone, myself too, literally didn't even go out of house anymore or go even out of bed

She just see all of that as obsession, how?.. really

She will probably not even care or cry when i finally can CTB

Really awful world, after all of that you have to CTB all alone, take risk of fail living all the rest of your life with permanent horrible damage, while she get fcked every day, trash world and people who dont help you end this pain

 

[AllFoxedOut]

I don't know how to tell if I'm in love or obsessed. is there even a meaningful difference? I don't know.

I did all the same things. so I get it. I'm sorry your love has been unreciprocated for so long.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

I feel this in my heart. The need I have for my wife can't be explained. You spend long enough with someone and they become a part of you. It's not an obsession if that person has become as vital to you as breathing. Some people just stop caring and it doesn't matter how much they hurt you when they've decided they're done.

 

[Toxinebulaic]

Obsessed has a negative stigma. I don't think it always needs to. In the context of love, I am unashamed to say that I am obsessed with my lover just as he is obsessed with me.

My significant other and I were separated for 4 weeks one time.

There wasn't a second I spent without thinking about how beautiful he was and how much he meant to me. It got to the point where I felt empty without the loving touch of this person who meant everything to me.

And to think that you never even got to hear her say I love you.

Stay strong man, stay strong.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'd openly say I think I suffer with limerance- a crazy obsesive form of love. I would argue that it is still a form of love but I don't know- it just seems far more based on a fantasy version of the person. The main part in the fantasy being that they loved me back! All my crushes were unrequited and they probably wasted over a decade of my life. I'm sorry- I know how painful it is.

 

[todienomore]

One term for this is limerence, and yeah it cant end well. Been there, only for a few months though, it really sucks.

PSA: Never take psychedelics while dating it makes this 1000x worse lol

Never put a woman above yourself, family or even close friends.

Do not chase women, do not go all in, ever. Save part of yourself, your sanity, in case she isnt shit.

 

[Death is my goal]

i feel like you were simping over her..
if you knew she wouldn't love you back why put yourself through this?

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

i feel like you were simping over her..
if you knew she wouldn't love you back why put yourself through this?

We were "forced" to see each other because her brother was my best friend too, so many time i ate with them, even lot of holidays, because they know i have a really bad family

 

[kindalone]

It is obsession. A lot of young guys go through that and it's normal. My first ever crush also had to endure it when I was obsessed with her. Messaged and called her constanly and wanted to be near her. I even sat next to her in class, which made this whole thing worse. Only after years, I finally realized what an annoying little fuck I was. She was literally just friendly to me and I mistook that as something else. I conjured all these delusional dreams of us being together when she was mostly was just doing things a really good friend does. She didn't want my love. She cared for me and did things for me. But when I did favors for her, it was to gain her trust and love, not because I genuinely cared for her. My barrage of love was just harrassment at that point. She was innocent. Of course, I was rejected which also led to my first attempt amongst other factors.

I don't know the situation, but if I get made responsible for someone's death, receive love letters and get pressured into a possible sexual relationship with someone because he just ditched all his other social contacts and spend heaps of money on me, I would retreat. It's way too overwhelming to get into a relationship with someone I didn't see in that way in the first place. And if I did, it just gotten way too complicated for me.

 

[CTB Dream]

Not worry this human make word use advtg some case say obs some not, this all human manip each make advtg, v awful species no undrstnd othr ppl how feel how sffr, no undrstd brain chemy etc ,this rly awfl species v sry hpn u ,hug

 

[lethargic]

One term for this is limerence, and yeah it cant end well. Been there, only for a few months though, it really sucks.

PSA: Never take psychedelics while dating it makes this 1000x worse lol

Never put a woman above yourself, family or even close friends.

Do not chase women, do not go all in, ever. Save part of yourself, your sanity, in case she isnt shit.

Sage advice that barely any young guy will ever take because they're always convinced they are "the one" when you're truly in love for the first time. It's like a rite of passage everyone goes through the hard way.

Women break up and divorce left right and centre. When she breaks up with you just understand that by that time, she already had mentally checked out over the past 6 months and in that moment she already lost all feelings for you. Stop simping, it makes things worse and I guarantee you she does not care like you do.

I fell for it as well. Except my fuckup was magnitudes greater because I moved countries for her. Continents, actually.

 

[PrematureBurial]

Thus far I see only one rational comment in this thread, I'm shocked.

Op, stop this instant. I've been on the other end twice, the second is still ongoing. I sent absolutely no signals to either and even very outwardly expressed that they should stay away, that I do not want to talk and that I have no interest nor will I ever. The current guy won't stop; he texts people close to me, sends them weird, angry, stalkerish, sometimes cryptic messages to pass on to me. Pictures of how he bought something for me. He doxxed all of my family members and would keep writing to me about them and how certain details about their lives fit into his own fantasy narrative — that was prior to when I blocked him everywhere. I'm a semi-public person; he would somehow find out about every academic Zoom conference I attended and lurked and wrote things as I presented. He even found my Reddit and accounts that were not even remotely public. He would send pages and pages of text every single day, even though I did not reply for more than a year.

I could not take it, last year I collapsed entirely. I started taking antipsychotics because I felt watched everywhere, I started seeing shadows. And I'm generally an extroverted person. I still feel uneasy, I want it over with. The police won't do anything, all they have is a case file so they can intervene faster should he show up. I wish I could bash his face in. I still don't know exactly what I will do if or when he shows up. At this point I actually wish he would ctb. This has been going for more than three years now.

You are not a suffering romantic protagonist. You might be causing permanent mental damage to this person. You are selfish. You are only thinking about yourself. You are delusional. Stop.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

It is obsession. A lot of young guys go through that and it's normal. My first ever crush also had to endure it when I was obsessed with her. Messaged and called her constanly and wanted to be near her. I even sat next to her in class, which made this whole thing worse. Only after years, I finally realized what an annoying little fuck I was. She was literally just friendly to me and I mistook that as something else. I conjured all these delusional dreams of us being together when she was mostly was just doing things a really good friend does. She didn't want my love. She cared for me and did things for me. But when I did favors for her, it was to gain her trust and love, not because I genuinely cared for her. My barrage of love was just harrassment at that point. She was innocent. Of course, I was rejected which also led to my first attempt amongst other factors.

I don't know the situation, but if I get made responsible for someone's death, receive love letters and get pressured into a possible sexual relationship with someone because he just ditched all his other social contacts and spend heaps of money on me, I would retreat. It's way too overwhelming to get into a relationship with someone I didn't see in that way in the first place. And if I did, it just gotten way too complicated for me.

Yeah she only wanted to be friend with me, but fuck..

Thus far I see only one rational comment in this thread, I'm shocked.

Op, stop this instant. I've been on the other end twice, the second is still ongoing. I sent absolutely no signals to either and even very outwardly expressed that they should stay away, that I do not want to talk and that I have no interest nor will I ever. The current guy won't stop; he texts people close to me, sends them weird, angry, stalkerish, sometimes cryptic messages to pass on to me. Pictures of how he bought something for me. He doxxed all of my family members and would keep writing to me about them and how certain details about their lives fit into his own fantasy narrative — that was prior to when I blocked him everywhere. I'm a semi-public person; he would somehow find out about every academic Zoom conference I attended and lurked and wrote things as I presented. He even found my Reddit and accounts that were not even remotely public. He would send pages and pages of text every single day, even though I did not reply for more than a year.

I could not take it, last year I collapsed entirely. I started taking antipsychotics because I felt watched everywhere, I started seeing shadows. And I'm generally an extroverted person. I still feel uneasy, I want it over with. The police won't do anything, all they have is a case file so they can intervene faster should he show up. I wish I could bash his face in. I still don't know exactly what I will do if or when he shows up. At this point I actually wish he would ctb. This has been going for more than three years now.

You are not a suffering romantic protagonist. You might be causing permanent mental damage to this person. You are selfish. You are only thinking about yourself. You are delusional. Stop.

Im sorry for your story

Thats not my case, the only one suffering its me, and i never talk bad about her