Lost...

[Eternal Disaster]

I don't even know what to say. I have kept my mouth sealed for past 5 hours. Soon it will be morning but I can't even sleep. I cannot believe I have spent my entire night on SaSu just because I was scared that those thoughts will start intruding in my mind once I will try to sleep. I am even afraid of sleep because of nightmares.I am just tired now. I don't care for anyone, I don't think about myself I just want to kill myself. I am tired of these disorders. I am tired of being constantly overwhelmed.

I feel like I am lost. Lost in a dark, dangerous place. There is no one around me. I am alone and that's the only truth. I am alone. There is no one here. No one. May be I can get some deadly disease if I start hoping for that. Fuck everything, I will just end it all. It's all so bad. Few years ago I was a happy person with sparkle in my eyes and today I am here. My pain can only be understood by me. It's just me in this storm. No one is here. I am by myself and that's the only truth.

I know miracles don't happen. I am alone and I will have to use my hands either to hang myself or to poison myself. Hopes really hurt a lot.

 

[Nightfoot]

I'm sorry you're going through this and feel like you're suffering alone. I hope you can find some relief.

 

[doomerguy88]

I don't even know what to say. I have kept my mouth sealed for past 5 hours. Soon it will be morning but I can't even sleep. I cannot believe I have spent my entire night on SaSu just because I was scared that those thoughts will start intruding in my mind once I will try to sleep. I am even afraid of sleep because of nightmares.I am just tired now. I don't care for anyone, I don't think about myself I just want to kill myself. I am tired of these disorders. I am tired of being constantly overwhelmed.

I feel like I am lost. Lost in a dark, dangerous place. There is no one around me. I am alone and that's the only truth. I am alone. There is no one here. No one. May be I can get some deadly disease if I start hoping for that. Fuck everything, I will just end it all. It's all so bad. Few years ago I was a happy person with sparkle in my eyes and today I am here. My pain can only be understood by me. It's just me in this storm. No one is here. I am by myself and that's the only truth.

I know miracles don't happen. I am alone and I will have to use my hands either to hang myself or to poison myself. Hopes really hurt a lot.

Sorry you are feeling this way. I am in a similar position and have lost the will to want to live because everything in life just feels way too overwhelming and I have lost the ability to find joy or care about anything anymore. I have tried a couple of easier methods from the megathread like ligature strangulation and partial hanging but I just can't seem to get them to work. Sorry I don't have any advice for you but hopefully you will somehow find peace.