lost my love and ability to draw thanks to depression

[evrlastingsea]

i went to an art highschool, did art for uni, have been drawing my whole life, i also worked in creative. but now i'm slowly losing my ability to do it.

honestly it's been built up for so long. being in an environment where everyone is just really skilled makes me compare myself so much to them. got me depressed. i sell my art in events, and they always went quite well, but i can't make my brain believe that my art is any good.

the moment i knew i'm fucked is when i puked while trying to draw. i really can't seem to be creative anymore. maybe having a hobby as my career is my first mistake. i can't finish any drawing without crying or getting nauseous, i can't find the joy in making art anymore, i can't love art anymore for myself. it sucks because I've lived my whole life dedicated for art, and it's probably has been 3 years since i last enjoyed making art.

It's so funny because my old art teacher in hs told us that the more depressed someone is, the more creative they get. it's such a dumb take but funny how that didn't apply to me when i needed it the most.

I know i just have to create. i don't have to worry, and just create what i want. but what do i want? what do i like?

The only time i could force myself to draw is when I'm influenced by alcohol. even then, the progress is very small.

And since i work in creative, i'll just wait and see when i'll get really fucked. If there's anyone who went to similar experience pls share if there's anything to help you with that bc i really really really need to lock tf in

 

[Lost in a Dream]

While I have made some art in the past, creative writing has always been my thing. I seem to make more progress writing when I'm under the influence of alcohol, just like you are when you draw, but like you said, some days the progress is small, other times it's more. It really depends on the day. It's been a while since I've gotten any writing done and I wish I had some good advice.

 

[limenlux]

I was taught how to draw in the "technical" sense by my father, but lack the talent and creativity of a proper artist. I admire what people such as yourself are capable of creating and really hope you're able to find your drive again.

It's so funny because my old art teacher in hs told us that the more depressed someone is, the more creative they get. it's such a dumb take but funny how that didn't apply to me when i needed it the most.

Perfect opportunity to be a smartass and point out that Van Gogh shot himself.