Lost another friend.

[spiderwbs]

I lost another friend, she was my best friend. She doesn't want to be my friend anymore because I've been so distant lately... I haven't told her how I felt, I haven't spoken to her for a month. She was upset and hurt by what I did, and to be honest, It's fair because she has every right to be mad at me. Tbf, I would be upset too if my best friend was so distant with me and didn't tell me how they felt, so I guess it's understandable. But I wish some people didn't become so mad instead of understanding how people truly feel... ppl always come up with conclusions saying that nobody cares about each other's feelings anymore like that's so fucking stupid. I hurt everyone I care about, I feel like my feelings aren't so valid anymore... I've been just thinking about my life lately and I just hate it so much, I hate who I am and I just want to die already.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry this has happened. It's so hard because you were probably trying to protect her. Still, speaking as someone who lost their best friend because they became so distant (because their life moved on), I guess sometimes we do it to protect ourselves. When you realise you do depend on someone emotionally and then- for whatever reason, they aren't there for you, you can start to think that you need to learn to cope without them- in case they do it again. I kind of pushed my friend away after I felt like they'd done the same to me. It did feel cruel in a way but then- I knew that I couldn't cope with the friendship being so hot and cold according to their needs.

It's not to say anyone is the bad person in all of this. You definitely aren't. It's just I think- we all have a certain amount of strength/ resilience to us- if that makes sense? Sometimes I think we just realise that we can't cope with relationships that are unreliable. I guess we all have needs and if it seems like we can't fulfill those needs, we may prefer to release some of that attachment. It's so sad but I think all relationships are complicated because people themselves are vulnerable and complicated.

Maybe it is that your friend also feels vulnerable and they don't feel they can depend on a friendship that may not be there sometimes. That's not your fault- that's just the way it is. Some people I think are better at coping with that and forgiving it than others. It's such a shame though- I'm sorry. For a while, I almost felt heartbroken when my friend moved on. If I'm honest, time has helped but it felt awful at the time.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Sorry to hear. I also behave in the same way and maybe it's strange for people. Actually, I don't have any "friends" that I spend time with regularly. Weird.