losing someone to suicide?

[loslassen]

I have been thinking about this for a while and I'd like some retrospective from others on what's the experience like… have you lost someone to suicide? what was it like?
sorry if it's a sensitive spot, I'm just wondering what'd it be like for friends and close people I'd I ctb, no matter how much I try to imagine, I still feel a huge sense of guilt over them, which makes me reconsider my options a lot.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i havent, but i know someone who has. its hit him pretty hard. and i think it mentally broke someone else, but idk as much about that person/situation

 

[MarsProxy]

I lost my partner on November 22nd, 2023. Every day without him in my life is utterly abysmal, yet I understand why he did what he did and don't blame him for any of it, nor could I. I do wish he had held on a little longer, but it was his decision and I respect him for it. I just wish I wasn't here alone or that he had to die alone. I know a partner is more than a friend, but I just wanted to share. I won't be around for much longer anyways.

 

[Labyrinth]

Whenever someone I know dies, I think about how much better I could have been for that person. In my guilty omissions and in the things that never happened.

They left us priceless memories. Whether through an inspiring example or an icon of opprobrium.

 

[TwoWaysOnly]

A Special Scar The experiences of people bereaved by suicide

By Alison Wertheimer


I am already a good chunk through this book and it is the most informative thing I have found, I would suggest this to everyone here honestly. Especially to consider the consequences of certain actions. It is not dense at all, very readable

 

[loslassen]

A Special Scar The experiences of people bereaved by suicide

By Alison Wertheimer


I am already a good chunk through this book and it is the most informative thing I have found, I would suggest this to everyone here honestly. Especially to consider the consequences of certain actions. It is not dense at all, very readable

will read thank you

 

[suicidesheep31.1]

The father of my ex ctb. And also one of our friends.
I felt really guilty to not have seen it. We checked but it was too late.
Since, I constantly check when I see someone who is feeling down. I have the fear that they also ctb and that I did nothing.
This fear is often not rational and a little event like my flatmate saying "success in your life" with a tone a bit down, can trigger it.

 

[v089]

I kinda have. We weren't close for a few years, she had BPD and I have autism, so our relationship was rocky. My other friend texted me a few weeks after her death just saying "hey, you know that X finally managed to kill herself". It was so fucked up, he said it almost as if it was funny. I know she wanted to live but it was too much for her. She even updated her fund she put for treatment in a psychiatric clinic. I'm just happy she's not in pain anymore because I know how much she had to suffer. But I regret I didn't keep in touch with her, I know I couldn't help or do anything really, I just wanted her to know I care.
Another friend of mine didn't really kill himself on purpose but I believe addiction is in a way suicide. Especially he did it to escape all the shit from his past. He OD on heroin a few months after they refused him treatment, as they said, "he can manage it himself".
I wish I could give my life for them to live and be happy, but I know it's impossible and I just hope they're in a better place.

 

[Labyrinth]

The father of my ex ctb. And also one of our friends.
I felt really guilty to not have seen it. We checked but it was too late.
Since, I constantly check when I see someone who is feeling down. I have the fear that they also ctb and that I did nothing.
This fear is often not rational and a little event like my flatmate saying "success in your life" with a tone a bit down, can trigger it.

I liked the criticism contained in your profile image.

 

[UKscotty]

Nothing short of devastating for anyone left behind I'd say. The vast majority of people cherish and love life, so to say CTB has no impact is an outright lie.

However, the pain heals and people recover. We will be just a memory quickly enough.

 

[PlasticFace]

When I was young, my best friend turned to drugs and took his own life via hanging. I discovered him in a little wooded area behind his house and just never had the heart to tell his mom. It completely ripped our friend group apart and I miss him with my entire heart. However, he was struggling, obviously. I wish I could've been there for him more than I was. Only two days later did his mom pass. She had been sick for a while before but it felt like the last of him was ripped from me. My mom kept me from going to either funeral so I never got to officially let go of the losses. On the other hand, what can we do? I think he would've done it no matter what.