Discussion Losing my mind...

[Joker2003]

Anyone else feel like they're going crazy?

I've been socially isolated and without friends for years. I have no desire to ever leave the house, I can't drive, and I don't even want relationships anymore. I would be content never seeing another human being again. My dogs are my only company.

I think years of isolation has destroyed my mind. It feels like my psyche is shattered into a million pieces. I think that American society is garbage and everything feels pointless. My only desires are to play video games, walk in nature, and spend time with my dogs. I live vicariously through movies and TV shows. I also spend up to four hours a day daydreaming of a better life.

I always tell my therapist how defeated I am, but they never truly understand. Therapists always say that I should improve my life and take action, but what is there to improve? I am nothing but a mind trapped in a decaying body, and I live in a decaying world. My recent MRI showed that I have a chronic neurological disease, so now even my mind is decaying. My vision is distorted with static, I am always fatigued, and my body hurts.

Sometimes I feel like I am in the prodromal stage of a psychotic disorder, but I hope that it is just my anxiety talking.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. Have a great day!

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, I feel like I'm slowly going insane. I talk to myself now (actually I think it's more like articulating my thoughts). I heard that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity. I think I have issues…

 

[R_N]

I can relate to isolation. I gave up relationships/emotionally invested friendships while I was still 'healthy' because of how unpredictable people are. Now it never crosses my mind nor I have needs for intimacy because I reduced those needs to a brain fart.

If I wanted love I would use drugs instead, less hassle, more control. But intense emotions are a no no either way. I prefer calmness more than strong feelings. Whenever I felt a lot I acted dumb and caused more harm to myself and others than I will ever with how I am now.


Btw, HOW ABOUT ANOTHER JOKE, MURRAY? :D

Yeah, I feel like I'm slowly going insane. I talk to myself now (actually I think it's more like articulating my thoughts). I heard that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity. I think I have issues…

I talked to myself since I was a kid. I actually enjoyed having discussions like that as crazy as it sounds. I looked at myself critically just like I look at other human beings and it made me question everything. Even my own actions because I could present arguments against them.

 

[Joker2003]

I can relate to isolation. I gave up relationships/emotionally invested friendships while I was still 'healthy' because of how unpredictable people are. Now it never crosses my mind nor I have needs for intimacy because I reduced those needs to a brain fart.

If I wanted love I would use drugs instead, less hassle, more control. But intense emotions are a no no either way. I prefer calmness more than strong feelings. Whenever I felt a lot I acted dumb and caused more harm to myself and others than I will ever with how I am now.


Btw, HOW ABOUT ANOTHER JOKE, MURRAY? :D

Joker 2019 was such a good movie. I obviously don't condone his actions, but I find Arthur Fleck to be a relatable character.

 

[R_N]

Joker 2019 was such a good movie. I obviously don't condone his actions, but I find Arthur Fleck to be a relatable character.

I watched it with my step sister and cousin in cinema while I was still around and kicking. I remember people laughing at Arthur when he was in pain and it kinda made me think they don't understand the character rather than them not having empathy. It was irritating.

How do you like Ledgers performance? I personally love both.

I also liked Joker in Gotham tv show but I forgot actors name. I think he did well, pay attention to this short scene and his smile. I always thought he had potential.

Gotham-Joker

 

[scottyy]

Yeah same. No friends, don't talk to my family. Gave up on getting a girlfriend a long time ago due to my own family constantly sabotaging me or humiliating me. Gave up on friends because it seems everyone just wants to mess with me or disrespect me.

Everyday I just walk around an empty house pacing the floors, and then I start talking to myself, talking out all my thoughts and problems. And I start getting angry, because I'm telling my story because no body ever listened.

Then idk what happens, I begin going crazy. Idek how to describe it. I guess it's insanity. Which is a good reason to ctb and I wish those around me wouldn't be so weak and just let me go.

Although nothings stopping me from doing it right now except myself.

I think about ancient japan and how they were allowed to commit seppuku publicy to avoid shame. I'm sure nobody would've been trying to talk him out of it and they probably would keep any hysterical family members away from the ceremony.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Anyone else feel like they're going crazy?

yes, bc im getting worse, which is to be expected from yrs of isolation & months of not leaving the housemy cutting's back w a vengeance & has turned into a fixation on scarification, i need to cut words into my skin now. i've always been dependent on/attached to Mr. Kuma, but now i find myself talking to him even when he's not w me, like he's replacing my voice in my head. my simple dislike for ppl is now mostly hatred & anger that sits in my chest all day every day.

& it can only get worse from here!! yay me.

 

[InAgony]

I guess I already am crazy in some people definition. I've been isolated for years too, but now people are trying to push me into being social and I'm just not coping with it but no one wants to know. I, like you, want to just be on my own (I don't but because of heslth problems I do). I am heading towards a life where I am totally alone and that kinda scares me as having no one at all is unbearable, but being social is not possible either.

 

[hopeless08]

Anyone else feel like they're going crazy?

I've been socially isolated and without friends for years. I have no desire to ever leave the house, I can't drive, and I don't even want relationships anymore. I would be content never seeing another human being again. My dogs are my only company.

I think years of isolation has destroyed my mind. It feels like my psyche is shattered into a million pieces. I think that American society is garbage and everything feels pointless. My only desires are to play video games, walk in nature, and spend time with my dogs. I live vicariously through movies and TV shows. I also spend up to four hours a day daydreaming of a better life.

I always tell my therapist how defeated I am, but they never truly understand. Therapists always say that I should improve my life and take action, but what is there to improve? I am nothing but a mind trapped in a decaying body, and I live in a decaying world. My recent MRI showed that I have a chronic neurological disease, so now even my mind is decaying. My vision is distorted with static, I am always fatigued, and my body hurts.

Sometimes I feel like I am in the prodromal stage of a psychotic disorder, but I hope that it is just my anxiety talking.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. Have a great day!

I'm sorry you're going through all of this.
I as well have a neurological malfunction and never leave my house, haven't socialized with anyone and as a result I've become stupid. I used to be super smart but now I write like a two year old and my vocabulary is horrible.
On top of all the emotional pain having chronic physical disorder is just too much for a human to have to endure.
If you at least enjoy walks in nature, take them as much as possible. As for dogs they're the best company, no human could ever compare to them.

 

[Joker2003]

I watched it with my step sister and cousin in cinema while I was still around and kicking. I remember people laughing at Arthur when he was in pain and it kinda made me think they don't understand the character rather than them not having empathy. It was irritating.

How do you like Ledgers performance? I personally love both.

I also liked Joker in Gotham tv show but I forgot actors name. I think he did well, pay attention to this short scene and his smile. I always thought he had potential.

Gotham-Joker

I thought that Heath Ledger was a fantastic Joker and he is my personal favorite. Joaquin is my second favorite Joker.

I just watched the clip you sent. Dang, Cameron Monaghan really nailed both the Joker's laugh and smile. Great actor!

I'm sorry you're going through all of this.
I as well have a neurological malfunction and never leave my house, haven't socialized with anyone and as a result I've become stupid. I used to be super smart but now I write like a two year old and my vocabulary is horrible.
On top of all the emotional pain having chronic physical disorder is just too much for a human to have to endure.
If you at least enjoy walks in nature, take them as much as possible. As for dogs they're the best company, no human could ever compare to them.

Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate them!