padda
Member
- Feb 23, 2025
- 23
I was better for several months: on meds, going to therapy, excited about a new chapter in life(uni). I didn't feel anxious/had negative thoughts.
But everything I was worried about happening happend. Im miserable right now, during the fall I have slowly been losing it and the thought of ctb just stays on my mind more.
Since moving for uni, I have been so isolated and lonely. Normally I am a social person with lots of friends, but in uni I haven't gotten any. I basically sleep all day, to not feel anything. I still do pass my classes with high grades, but I fear that won't be the case soon.When anyone asks me how uni is going I lie, since it would be so shameful to say I don't have any friends.
The facade is slowly fading , and I fear soon everything will be obvious to everyone. Due to my long past with mental health I fear it is impossible to recover now. Genuinely nothing helps it's so fucking pointless. Meds where okay but didn't do to much in hindsight , and made me gain weight which has caused more mental trouble.
Im a person who needs other people, and being lonely is my worst fear, and now I'm here.
But everything I was worried about happening happend. Im miserable right now, during the fall I have slowly been losing it and the thought of ctb just stays on my mind more.
Since moving for uni, I have been so isolated and lonely. Normally I am a social person with lots of friends, but in uni I haven't gotten any. I basically sleep all day, to not feel anything. I still do pass my classes with high grades, but I fear that won't be the case soon.When anyone asks me how uni is going I lie, since it would be so shameful to say I don't have any friends.
The facade is slowly fading , and I fear soon everything will be obvious to everyone. Due to my long past with mental health I fear it is impossible to recover now. Genuinely nothing helps it's so fucking pointless. Meds where okay but didn't do to much in hindsight , and made me gain weight which has caused more mental trouble.
Im a person who needs other people, and being lonely is my worst fear, and now I'm here.
