ElfQueens
Member
- Aug 7, 2026
- 47
So, about four weeks ago, I was dommed by someone we know, and she cut her name into our forearm with a scalpel. A few days later, we learned that even shallow cuts like she did might leave permanent scars.
We had talked about cutting kink before and she did mention she liked engraving things into people and we said we weren't particularly into it but overall not averse to it either, not thinking about the risk of scars. At another point when we talked about boundaries I did mention I didn't want anything done that could cause permanent bodily harm. And well when she did it, she didn't mention anything about scars. And assumed I'd just safeword if something was wrong. Apparently it never occurred to her safewords alone aren't an end-all-be-all solution when someone is subspaced and drugged (drugplay is a kink of ours and something we more clearly consented to as long as certain precautions were taken like sterility measures for needles and a limit of amount and frequency).
So I don't know, we feel both violated but also like it's basically our fault for not thinking things through and communicating more clearly.
We did research how to reduce scars at the time, we found that scar gels may or may not help so we did get two different ones and are currently using them twice a day (both are silicone-based, they have different types of additional ingredients though, like vitamin B6 or iron). We were also told keeping the wound pressed together would help, ideally with medical tape but since we didn't have that we just used bandaids for a few days. Some lines are clearly fading now, others are still visible and wide enough that we're concerned they might never fully disappear.
We've been otherwise doing mostly ok for now but if these scars don't go away I don't think we want to live on. Is there anything else we can do to make these scars less visible/noticeable? Just covering them up with long sleeves and such isn't really a long-term solution for us, we'd still see them whenever we undress and also in summer long sleeves aren't really feasible, we're just happy it's getting colder again for now, and either way, we don't want to be reminded of our mistake for the rest of our life. We also don't need advice that would've been helpful right when we got the cuts but won't do anything several weeks later, we're already feeling enough regret as is.
- Lira
We had talked about cutting kink before and she did mention she liked engraving things into people and we said we weren't particularly into it but overall not averse to it either, not thinking about the risk of scars. At another point when we talked about boundaries I did mention I didn't want anything done that could cause permanent bodily harm. And well when she did it, she didn't mention anything about scars. And assumed I'd just safeword if something was wrong. Apparently it never occurred to her safewords alone aren't an end-all-be-all solution when someone is subspaced and drugged (drugplay is a kink of ours and something we more clearly consented to as long as certain precautions were taken like sterility measures for needles and a limit of amount and frequency).
So I don't know, we feel both violated but also like it's basically our fault for not thinking things through and communicating more clearly.
We did research how to reduce scars at the time, we found that scar gels may or may not help so we did get two different ones and are currently using them twice a day (both are silicone-based, they have different types of additional ingredients though, like vitamin B6 or iron). We were also told keeping the wound pressed together would help, ideally with medical tape but since we didn't have that we just used bandaids for a few days. Some lines are clearly fading now, others are still visible and wide enough that we're concerned they might never fully disappear.
We've been otherwise doing mostly ok for now but if these scars don't go away I don't think we want to live on. Is there anything else we can do to make these scars less visible/noticeable? Just covering them up with long sleeves and such isn't really a long-term solution for us, we'd still see them whenever we undress and also in summer long sleeves aren't really feasible, we're just happy it's getting colder again for now, and either way, we don't want to be reminded of our mistake for the rest of our life. We also don't need advice that would've been helpful right when we got the cuts but won't do anything several weeks later, we're already feeling enough regret as is.
- Lira
