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suicidesheep31

suicidesheep31

Specialist
Jun 27, 2020
348
This is what I think/ say out load to myself when I see myself in a mirror or outdoors...
Someone else in the same situation?
 
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Reactions: blooberry, StaticCryBabye, Disappointered and 23 others
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,797
For me it's more like "Listen to yourself, actually do it.". (Btw how do I punctuate here?). FUCK!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,130
I try to avoid mirrors as much as I possibly can. I do ask myself why am I still here. In a way it is like I have already died. My mind does tell me that I should ctb, but it is not easy to let go of life. I do not want to be me anymore, I just want to be nothing.
 
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Chiisai

Chiisai

To infinity and beyond!
Sep 1, 2021
754
I try to avoid mirrors as much as I possibly can. I do ask myself why am I still here. In a way it is like I have already died. My mind does tell me that I should ctb, but it is not easy to let go of life. I do not want to be me anymore, I just want to be nothing.
I can relate. I dont feel anything anymore. Just like im on auto-pilot or a zombir everyday. I want to CTB and already prepared it but after that, I havent touched it since. Been staring at it for weeks. Its really hard to let go of life. It seems the closer we are to CTB, the more SI kicks in even giving thoughts of positive what ifs.
 
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W

Werewolf.

Student
May 28, 2021
183
I do the same thing!!!
 
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Fakereality

Fakereality

Student
Aug 4, 2021
130
Exact same thing i say to myself whenever I look in the mirror though I say it in a roundabout way like hey today's weather is good isn't a very good weather to leave the world behind all the pain all the deception behind I still have yet to get a positive answer but I am sure soon I will.
 
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T

TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
277
If talked to other people like I talk to myself I'd hate me too.
 
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logan

logan

Warlock
May 20, 2021
705
Looking in the mirror can be really hard - when you see the pain and suffering on top of that ...
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
Somewhat similar. Whenever I leave the house for anything all I can think is how I don't belong in this World, even walking my dog for half an hour or so is too much for me to handle, when I get home I end up pondering for hours why I don't just end it all already. That's pretty much why I stay in my room whenever im not required to do anything.
 
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Walkingcorpse123

Walkingcorpse123

My only friend, the end
Jul 9, 2021
44
Yes I keep repeating "It is time to die, It's a perfect day to end early" stuff like that...doesn't help with THE actual ACT tho :(
 
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U

user_name_here

N/A
May 16, 2021
315
I relate wholeheartedly, I've been doing the same when I look in the mirror for the last 5-6 years.
Therapy helped a bit but it eventually came back.
 
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rosie93

rosie93

Student
Aug 28, 2021
152
This is what I think/ say out load to myself when I see myself in a mirror or outdoors...
Someone else in the same situation?

"Not dead yet? What are you waiting for you dumb bitch?"
 
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OnlyTheWind

OnlyTheWind

Serena / Meatball head
Aug 29, 2020
962
"I can't wait to kill myself"
 
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FarAcrossTheWater

FarAcrossTheWater

Experienced
Sep 4, 2020
264
Well I'm waiting until I have a house of my own to CTB through CO but I spent 5-10 times a day imagining shooting myself in the head or slitting my wrists. There is only one answer.
 
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hʚll

hʚll

not real.
Jun 18, 2021
467
i try avoiding mirrors as much as possibile too. but when it happens it's "who are you" and i feel very bad anxiety
 
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M

Mthom2

Student
Oct 19, 2020
156
Just wait till someone else says that exact thing to you. It's odd, cause when I first read the title of the thread, I thought someone told you that. It happened to me the other night. I was driving a guy when I had a flat tire due to road debris. That was one of the many statements he said to me.
 
T

thebigpigman

Member
Aug 28, 2021
57
I can relate. I dont feel anything anymore. Just like im on auto-pilot or a zombir everyday. I want to CTB and already prepared it but after that, I havent touched it since. Been staring at it for weeks. Its really hard to let go of life. It seems the closer we are to CTB, the more SI kicks in even giving thoughts of positive what ifs.
I like your avatar, from where do you get it?
This is what I think/ say out load to myself when I see myself in a mirror or outdoors...
Someone else in the same situation?
Dude, I am going to die in a few days, no one is understanding me.
yes your right i should kill myself and I am going to kill myself



me to
But that's not easy, is it?
 
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M

Myono93

Member
May 2, 2021
22
I also avoid mirrors. When I see myself I just think "What a piece of shit."
 
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CatTheBus5689

CatTheBus5689

Member
Jun 22, 2021
76
I look at myself in the mirror pretty often hoping that one day I might actually like the person in there. It's fine if I don't, because I know there will come a day I won't need to.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
This is what I think/ say out load to myself when I see myself in a mirror or outdoors...
Someone else in the same situation?
Omg!!! That's exactly what I've been doing lately!!! My words precisely!!! It's the only truth I'm confident in.
 
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dwindlingfirst

dwindlingfirst

Too worthless to live, too scared to die
Apr 24, 2023
85
This is what I think/ say out load to myself when I see myself in a mirror or outdoors...
Someone else in the same situation?
Yeah, I think to myself "fucking follow through with something at least once in your useless life."
 
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Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,279
Yeah, I think to myself "fucking follow through with something at least once in your useless life."
Yes, this is so relatable. I wouldn't want someone creepy or malicious or dishonest to try to force me into accepting medically assisted death but if it was done in a manner that didn't make me feel like I'm being abused I would welcome all the assistance - including psychological - I could get to finally be put to rest.
 
Unsure and Useless

Unsure and Useless

Drifting Aimlessly without Roots
Feb 7, 2023
275
When I have the time, I often quote silly little audios I hear on social media to make my CTB ideation somewhat comedic. A good example is this part of "Cousin Tito" by Rx Papi:

… I don't think I'ma get home
Might run off the road and kill myself
Sometimes I wake up, wanna kill myself
How would you feel if I killed myself?
I look in the mirror and wanna shoot myself


Otherwise, if I'm in the middle of doing something, I'm think of something along the lines of "Damn, I'm one ugly and useless bitch" or "Fuck, man, I should just kill myself. Not like anyone would miss me anyway."

I usually say a lot of things to my reflection. It's nice to talk to myself.
 
charlotte_

charlotte_

Arcanist
Mar 12, 2023
435
This certainly happens to me all the time. Not just in mirrors, but when I look at my body in any way. I see this body as a mere jail made of flesh, trapping us from our freedom. Everyday, I just wish I have the courage to dispose it
 
Archness

Archness

Defective Personel
Jan 20, 2023
536
I have this image of myself, this mind...

Looking at myself, the real, the body. I'm reminded a bit that I'm one who'd ideally be already dead.
 

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