crystalcastles
Member
- Apr 15, 2026
- 14
Every "friend" I've had just abused me and I cut them off very slowly. And the lasting impact of what they did to me is the reason I wanna CTB. I've never a real friend since grade 8. I don't know why I always attracted evil people, and I was so comfortable with them bothering me, even though I knew it hurt. I wish I had a friend, but at this point I feel like it's impossible because I don't work and I finished school, so there's no where to find a friend. And the bullying caused to crippling social anxiety, so there's that too. At this point I feel like it doesn't even matter because I'm going to CTB as soon as I get my SN (hopefully it comes through without issues). I just don't want to die in a state of lonliness does that make sense? I feel like if I had a real friend group, it would kind of save me from CTB, even though I'll always be suicidal.
